First of all I'd like to say Happy Mother's Day to everyone! I hope you all celebrated with people you love. Motherhood is the best and most important job I've ever had. I'm so blessed to have my four little angels who showered me with homemade cards and special handmade gifts. You can see pictures of how we celebrated Mother's Day on my Instagram @heatherdubrow
It's so hard to watch this episode, especially after spending such an amazing day with my family yesterday. This all happened seven months ago, and it's difficult to relive that challenging and upsetting time in my life and marriage.
My husband is wonderful and gives me so much. I am very grateful for the life we have created together.
However, during this period of time, I needed some support from him. I wasn't getting it. After a while of trying to communicate and getting nowhere, I got frustrated and started lashing out at him.
I don't have a switch off button. If something is upsetting me, it takes me time to get over it. Saying I'm sorry is a great way to start, but if its a pattern of behavior that's not changing the words lose their meaning.
Heather, I really love you. You are very real. I can't believe the comments regarding you needing to be grateful. The fact that your husband is a surgeon and supports a lavish lifestyle doesn't mean you are supposed to completely abandon you own hopes and dreams. It's really nice to see a real relationship and a woman who as a healthy self-esteem. Be you, you're beautiful an a powerful role model.
I am disappointed in you. With regard to your interaction with your husband on national TV, I respect you for wanting to make sure your relationship is on a level playing ground, however your handling of the situation points to another issue. That would be you. You were and how you handled the situation was over the top and quite out of line. Your husbands actions did not amount to your demanding of him to bow for forgiveness. More importantly, it pointed to you as insecure and wishing for a situation to demand and command attention. It was quite ridiculous. Terry did not mention divorce just on a whim. He probably consistently thinks about it because of how you deal with your relationship...your marriage. Be happy for your marriage...understand there are a few up and downs. But, more importantly, do not make up your own ups and downs to find something to absorb your ego. Look at it for what it is worth...he has to deal with you on a disjointed plain. You degraded your husband, you degraded your marriage and you degraded yourself. Think about it all before acting in such a poor manner again.
Heather, I used to really like you, but I think you might want to examine the way you treat others. You are becoming such a "mean girl", and the way you treat Terry is ridiculous! You are acting like a spoiled brat, and it might be time to count your blessings in life.
Heather, what is going on with you ? You are becoming so full of yourself, it's really sickening to watch ! I felt so sorry for Terry and the way you were acting with him, he apologized profusely but that obviously wasn't enough, you actually wanted him to kiss your butt for an extended amount of time ! Ridiculous !! After 35 yrs of marriage I can honestly tell you that married people don't treat one another like this ! YOU need to step outside yourself and take a good long look at what your doing and how your acting, because it isn't real flattering ! Yes, your right I don't know you, but I do know what I have seen and what you have put out there !
Heather, gosh so SAD you have to put up with Terry's joking. However, honestly, I would think any man married to you would need a sense of humor and a vault full of jokes just to get through the day . You know very well Terry is behind you no matter what you do. You come of so childish and pretentious,,,yes, that means fake, just like the diamond you make fun of Gretchen wearing.
Oh my God.. I used to love you Heather but you have become one of the mean girls. I just don't like you anymore. And I can't stand watching you with your husband.. Stop whining and complaining. You have a great husband. And you really are just a witch to him for no reason too. Get real..
Thank you for being an intelligent and eloquently spoken woman, I enjoy your voices of reason. Just try not take things so seriously though. It's ok to have a bit of fun.
Why are you complaining about support? You have live in help!! There are women who have 4 and 5 kids and they do it ALONE with no help and you have the posh lifestyle and you're complaining about support because you have to work for a few weeks!! Boy, I wish I had your problems. You seem like a spoiled person and should live in the real world for a while to realize how lucky you are.
Good Luck to you and I really hope you can change
It is hard to watch your total disregard for your husband, you treat him like a child. You knew his jokey personality from the start, now that you have the Mansion, cars and Nanny you want to complain. You make an utter fool of him.Its horrible.
melanie.white.102361 Have you noticed how exhausted Terry seems in many episodes? He is just dragging, yet he maintains a cheerful attitude. If he isn't careful, Heather will drain the life out of him with her criticisms and constant demands. People view her as strong and independent just because she is opinionated, yet she is a very dependent person--can't seem to do anything without several people helping her out. Most of us would do very well with only one "support person".
Have to agree with melanie and catz on this one. Heather, hold onto Terry with all your might because I don't think you are going to come out of this series with enough supporters to float an even halfway successful acting career. Oh and while you are holding onto your meal ticket, how about trying to be a little supportive of HIM, even if you can't be loving. It hurts my heart to see how you treat him.
And what is all this happy horsesh*t about everyone needing their partner to be a constant cheerleader. Most times a smile or a "good job honey" should be enough. Being a constant cheerleader is exhausting. If you were going thru chemo I could see needing "support". Needing that level of coddling on a daily basis is just......needy. And a big fat turnoff.
Heather, You are an amazing woman, a voice of reason and obviously very dedicated to your children and husband. We all have issues and what we see on the episodes is just of glimpse. Thank you for sharing your life and family with us, you are an inspiration. I do have a question, I was so excited when you first came on the show. Stark Raving Mad was one of our families favorite shows. Our oldest son would be yelling from the living room if we weren't all there so we could watch the show together, Could not believe it was not picked up. Every week we would wonder if they could possibly meet the level of humor from the previous week. We were never disappointed. It just kept getting better. We still recount sometimes some of the episodes, they were such classics. My question is that I have tried and tried to find copies of the episodes to purchase with no luck. Do you know if they are available anywhere on DVD? I would love to surprise my son for his birthday!
When you constantly say how you take care of the kids and the house- that's what you are supposed to do as a stay-at-home Mom! Terry WORKS, W-O-R-K-S ALL DAY. HIS HARD WORK PAID FOR YOUR MANSION AND CARS AND DESIGNER CLOTHES AND MAIDS.
Your "acting career" is not enough to support even a couple months mortgage, clothes, gym and food. So get over yourself. If you get a small acting role to boost your vanity even higher than it is, you need to hire help, he WORKS.
AND, you are supposed to be proud if your kid's math ablity takes after his DOCTOR dad, that's not supposed to make you angry.
Good Morning Heather,
If l had a television crew filming ever thing ,it would be very stressful to me.
I support your views about your husband. Well said with respect.
from a Aussie Fan :-)
You will be divorced if you continue to be an ice princess and treat your husband they way you do. Terry seems to be a really cool guy and you treat him terribly. Keep it up and you will end up like Vicki!!!!! She treated Don the same way. What man would want to come home to an uptight cold woman. Get it together or you will be alone and bitter!
I really like you but I hope that you dont let Tamra get into your head and let that effect your marriage. You said it yourself that Terry is a joker so take it in stride. They have an article in Parents Magazine that is all about dads and how they are so different then mothers on everything. I am like you I always think that my husband is going to mess up what I do on a day to day basis when he is left in charge, but I think the kids need that time so that they can appreciate everything that we as mothers do for them!!
i have a sister just like yourself that expected husband to kiss thou foot for every thing she did now she is by herself leaving in a trailer think about that Missy'''''
Kudos to you! You are, indeed, a very talented actress.
For the life of me, I don’t understand all the negative comments you’re receiving. Maybe your high degree of intelligence is too much for many of the viewers to understand. I happen to think you’re a superb addition to the cast and are refreshing to watch. It takes a lot of courage and emotional maturity to show some of the inner workings of one’s relationship with one’s spouse. And from the viewer’s perspective, I think it’s great watching how you and Terry not only confront these relationship issues, but resolve them as well. I wish you only the best.
Heather, I really hope that you don't end up like Tamara....Just because Terry doesn't show you as much support as you needed...it doesn't mean he doesn't love you....sometimes its best to talk it out...but you have to be willing to understand him as he is to you too...that is what healthy relationship do...You have to really try to work things out with Terry....I know that you change your last name and all...but that doesn't mean as much as the love you have with him....Some men now a days..when women forget to notice that they have been trying to make things work....they move on to the next....why even try.,...it never work...so my advice for both of you is to really sit down and assess the situation in a positive way...get a therapist if you two needed...I really hate to see your children suffer just because the two of you can't get it together...be an example for the children....
Heather your performance on Hot in Cleveland was wonderful! You have a gift and should use it more!
Doing it alone...watching the children. You're not doing it alone if a NANNY is present!!!!!!!!
If you and Tamera are really such close frineds that you feel the need to insert yourself into conversations with Alexis to defend her, then why were you not invited to the bachelorette party for Tamera in Vegas? Its obvious from your tweets that you didn't know anything about it. This whole BFF thig with tamera was/is a fraud, you just wanted a TV alliance to keep them, from picking on you this year. And who's the phoney now?
What a loser you are, Heather! So pretentious & arrogant! You have so much in your life & I don't just mean your over done mansion! You aren't doing yourself any favors this season-listen to your condescending self & think back to your criticism of Alexis! She's ditzy & was a wannabe no doubt, but you are no better-so full of yourself! Life is so tough when you have to take your 4 kids to the pumpkin farm with your nanny, maybe you should put down your phone & pay attention to them!
As I've watched this show, I just feel that you are too uptight! Yes Terry can joke a lot, but so many women would die to have a husband that loves and supports you the way he does. He never ceases to apologize when you feel offended, which seems to be all the time. You read too much into things and need to appreciate the good qualities you have in your husband. Its rather annoying to watch you chastise him like he is a child, which you do all the time...
Heather, when you first joined the show, I really liked you. You seemed like you were the most grounded, reasonable person on the show. Watching the new episodes, it seems to me that this show has gone to your head. Why are you short and rude with your husband. It doesn't seem like he can say or do anything right in your eyes. Give the man a break. Lighten up and quit taking life so seriously.
I agree with you. I loved her at first. Now she is just mean and hateful to people for no reason. I can't stand listening to her whine and nag her husband for NOTHING. If I were him, I wouldn't be able to take her anymore.
You are really comfortable and involve the children when you insult terry. However, when you you get served the same disrespect you get mad. Hypocrit!
No offense but you treat your husband like a dam child... you embarrass him in the presence of your friends and if you were an excellent wife you would know that you don't speak to your husband like that ever.... not to talk about in the presence of your friends.. so when your marriage goes wrong ask yourself why.... i man likes to be treated like a man not a child that you is place in the punishment corner... PLEASE note to self...
I can't stand Heather ! I do think she is a bully to her husband and Alexis ! I think Heather , Tamra, and Gretchen should make a movie and call it "Mean Broads " ! Seriously !
ALEXIS has a strange relationship with the truth?? Are you DELUSIONAL?
Heather, look up the definition of bully or, here, I'll paste it here for you, straight from Goog search:
Bully: Verb - use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants.
If you don't think a PRE PLANNED GROUP gang up in Costa Rica wasn't bullying... a group show of force designed to intimidate Alexis...well, of course you know it was bullying. At least be AUTHENTIC enough to own what you did.
Sorry, I was watching the Tamra gym opening party, and once again was ASTOUNDED by the tacky, lunatic, gang mentality you women display towards Alexis. I just DON"T GET the obsessive focus you women have towards Alexis. Just admit that the group gang up was intimidation and bullying, then be AUTHENTIC enough to own it and apologize, so you all can move on. Geeesh..
I saw a video where Heather was being interviewed by a local news team after she joined the cast of OC. In the interview, she said Terry would not speak to her for two weeks after she was offered the role of housewife, because she didn't want to take the job? Makes you wonder if maybe the reason she always seems so unhappy is that she never wanted to be there in the first place?
If Terry thought having Heather on the show would help his business, I'm sure that plan has backfired.
His wife befriending the likes of Tamra and Gretchen and being vicious to other women can't be good for his business, especially since the majority of his patients are women.
It's hard to believe that people of the caliber of Tamra/Eddie, Slade/Gretchen, and Heather/Terry are the best that Bravo can come up with for OC.
@Motorcitywife I am kind of torn on the issue of business pros and cons...whether it will affect his patient quota....personally, I would hesitate to see a dr who seemed to be Mr Hollywood...the time this show takes up has to limit his surgery schedule...at least for the time frame of filming...then there are his vacations and professional seminars and certification schedules...having that much time away from the office has to be noticed....
I have seen enough of Dr. Terry to realize he is not a physician I would employ. His appearance from the onset is about making fun of others (Alexis). He has lightened up so far this year but my initial impression still stands.
Personality goes a long ways in hiring an elective procedure surgeon.
They seem to be soaking up the camera time at the bachelorette/bachelor party. http://www.allabouttrh.com/photos-tamra-barneys-pre-wedding-vegas-pool-party
I liked the comment there "How is it that both Heather and Terry were able to attend? I thought Heather was so worried about her own husband looking after their kids when she was working for all of a week."
I just read the interview. It explains quite a bit. http://www.parentingoc.com/may-2012-editorial-departments/3828-exclusive-interview-heather-dubrow.html
@TulaneMom Makes me think that the Terry we see on camera isn't the Terry she gets. Two weeks? That's such a long time! Terry seems like a fame whore if that's the case!
First I want to say that it's awesome they have someone on the show that has longevity in their marriage. You also seem to be more classy than the other housewives. I really hope that you don't get bitten by the reality tv divorce bug that goes around 24/7. Could I offer up constructive criticism. Many times you come across as being the only woman in the world who has 4 kids, and has to take care of them. Many moms of many out there do this day in and day out and don't act as if they are doing anything special or need to be rewarded for taking care of the children they CHOSE to have. Many men don't think like women and they don't raise kids the exact way each woman would. We each have our own strengths and weaknesses in marriage. I think if you keep focusing on your hubbys weaknesses (which really IMHOP, aren't weaknesses) then you will be bitten by the reality tv's divorce bug. Try to stop treating your hubby like he's one of the kids, and pick your battles, as that argument at the dinner table left me shaking my head. I tried figuring out what he said that got you so worked up, and I still have no idea why you ranted (to the point your son was upset) that way you did.
TAKE THE STICK OUT OF YOUR BUTT. IF YOU DON'T TAKE CARE OF YOUR MAN, THERE IS ANOTHER WOMAN WHO WILL. JUST ASK GRETCHEN, SHE DID IT FOR SLIMY SLADE. iT AMAZES ME HOW YOUR CLAIM IS THAT YOU HAVE CLASS. YET YOU'RE BFF'S ARE TAMARA AND GRETCHEN. PATHETIC!
P.S. BEING NICE TO SOMEONE YOU DISLIKE DOESN'T MEAN YOU"RE FAKE IT MEANS YOU ARE MATURE ENOUGH TO TOLERATE. I GUESS THAT WOULD BE TO MUCH FOR YOU CATTY WOMEN..
OCDisp1 SAYING EVERYTHING IN CAPS DOES NOT MAKE IT MORE EFFECTIVE IT JUST GIVES THE READER A HEADACHE :(
To suggest she needs to pander to her man when he is being an ass to keep the ass from cheating is way worse than catty. If someone is able to take him then she don't need him. She has plenty of self worth it is not wrapped up in pandering to his wimms nor should it be. She should have the right to call him on his bad behavior not live in fear of someone stealing her man. RIDICULOUS. Huh maybe you have somthin with them there caps
I have never written on a blog before, but I want you to know that I appreciate the "realness" of your situation. I've loved you from the beginning but watching you and Terry this last episode, even though it hurt, made me realize how true you both are. After 20 years of marriage I know that it's full of ups and downs. You two are an inspiration to us all. Please continue keeping it real:)
I just watchd the restaurant scene again, and it is crazy to see you get over the top angry because Terry said for your son to channel his dad's math genes and help his siter with her homework. why would you feel that this smiple comment would garner so much hostility that it completely ruins your dinner? So what if he is smart in math, after all he did get into and tthrough medical school. I seriously doubt you had advanced calculus classes in the performing arts classes you took in college. Why not just let that comment go and continue with your discussion about your new acting role. You are so insanely sensitive about everything, any comment made in your presence somehow is a direct insult to you. Alexis comment at dinner was a complete example.
Its is very annoying to watch someone with so much financially and family wise, to be so overly sensitive and controlling to those around you. It's like nails on a chalk board.
Hulali great role modeling for her kids...not. How uncomfortable those kids must have been. I feel sorry for them. How are they going to have a normal relationship?
Hulali Exactly right. I hope HEATHER reads your comment. It was crazy how Heather was angry that Terry told his son that he had his math mind. It was disrespectful and even abusive to get angry about that and get insulted. She is supposed to be PROUD of her husband and PROUD that her son should take after his DOCTOR DAD. Let Heather go the Med school and then open her big self-absorbed mouth.
Heather, you seem to have a chip on your shoulder due to the fact that you do not feel acomplished career wise and you seem to want to punish your husband for that. Terry is funny, real and unfiltered. You on the other hand, like to look the part and are too concern with being politically correct. Let your hair down and be happy!!
I get so angry when you women have no clue what it is to be without. Without a father for your children without a husband that says stupid things to say just to make him feel better. He is providing you with that wonderful life and you are just complaining I have to be a mother to my own children I choose to have. Get over yourself .
Heather, I think you are the one "housewive" that is genuine, non-confrontational, and I love watching you and your husband Terry on the show. Please do not let this show break up your marriage, as many have! But good luck with your acting career, and you have a wonderful husband, and a beautiful family!! Just wanted to tell you that....Keep up the good work!! you are one of my fav housewives!! Janice