Cast Blog: #RHOC

Needing Terry's Support

Tamra: Lizzie's Obsessed With Me

Shannon Settles the Score

Lizzie: Tamra Doesn't Fight Fair

Heather: Why Hate?

RHOC Reunion GIFs: The Gloves Come Off

Lizzie on That Kentucky Fried Nickname

Shannon on Heather's Double Standard

RHOC Reunion GIFs: Psychics, Opinions, and Shade

Heather Weighs in on the Dinner Party

The Difference Between Shannon and Heather

Lizzie Forgives Tamra

Vicki Wants the Best for Tamra

GIF Recap: RHOC Season 9 Finale

Vicki: I'm Tired of Tamra Causing Problems

Recap: 13 GIF-able Life Lessons from Bali

Tamra: Lizzie Is the Worst Kind of Person

Lizzie: Tamra Has it Out for Me

Shannon: There's No Hope Tamra and I

Tamra: Lizzie's Out for Blood

Heather: Can't Friends Disagree

Lizzie: What Tamra's Doing Isn't Right

GIF Recap: Kayaks, Crowns, and Elephants

Shannon Was Shocked Tamra Would Betray Her

Tamra: I Was a Fool to Defend Vicki

Heather: Newsflash It's Not All My Fault

Vicki's Warning to Lizzie

Shannon Isn't Putting Emotions onto Tamra

Lizzie: I Thought Tamra Was My Friend

GIF Recap: Lizzie's Lonely Birthday Dance

Tamra: I'm Going to Be a Tam-ma!

Vicki: This Episode Was Hard to Watch

Heather: I Did Owe Shannon an Apology

Shannon: Tamra Is Stirring the Pot

Lizzie: Tamra Is Stirring Up Sh--

GIF Recap: What Does Tamra Remember?

Vicki Is Trying to Stay Neutral

Shannon: Tamra's Lies Are Mind Boggling

GIF Recap: Lizzie's Dinner Party Disaster

Vicki Advises Shannon to Keep Communication Lines Open

Lizzie: "I Take Sun Kitten Swimwear Very Seriously"

Needing Terry's Support

Heather discusses she and Terry's rough patch and how it has made their relationship stronger.

First of all I'd like to say Happy Mother's Day to everyone! I hope you all celebrated with people you love. Motherhood is the best and most important job I've ever had. I'm so blessed to have my four little angels who showered me with homemade cards and special handmade gifts. You can see pictures of how we celebrated Mother's Day on my Instagram @heatherdubrow

It's so hard to watch this episode, especially after spending such an amazing day with my family yesterday. This all happened seven months ago, and it's difficult to relive that challenging and upsetting time in my life and marriage.

My husband is wonderful and gives me so much. I am very grateful for the life we have created together.

However, during this period of time, I needed some support from him. I wasn't getting it. After a while of trying to communicate and getting nowhere, I got frustrated and started lashing out at him.

I don't have a switch off button. If something is upsetting me, it takes me time to get over it. Saying I'm sorry is a great way to start, but if its a pattern of behavior that's not changing the words lose their meaning.

I just wanted support the way I've always supported Terry. "I want what I give." This guest star role on Hot in Cleveland is only a five day job. It shouldn't be such a big deal for Terry to help out. That night while getting dressed for dinner, I wanted to explain how I felt, yet still, he had to interrupt me to make a joke. Thus, proving my point and further frustrating me.

You should know that Terry and I talked a lot after this evening and got to a better healing place. It wasn't completely over but we were heading in the right direction.

So, a weekend in Malibu sounded like just the ticket for us. A little time away from the kids to reconnect. . .

Brunch in Malibu: "You need to be what your PARTNER needs sometimes." This statement is true for me at this time in our marriage, as I feel that's what I've done for Terry, especially in the last few years.

I'm not someone who usually talks about my relationship in front of a group of people. I was surprised Terry brought it up at the table. You may think I'm still overreacting, but the fight that continued off-camera after our dinner at ZOV'S was very intense and hurtful.

I also don't cross the line when I fight. I think it's dangerous to do that in a relationship. Although I so appreciate that Terry was trying to protect me, I'm very embarrassed and still hurt and shocked that Terry had chosen to discuss this in front of a table of people. It brought back all of the emotions from our earlier fight that the audience didn't see.

I'm not trying to punish Terry. I already forgave him. I just want him to be supportive of me, and I'm also trying to find a place to put my emotions from the fight.

That's why when we are at SIP wine tasting I said "Let's hit the pause button." I was really glad that Terry pulled me aside to make sure I was OK. Clearly we love each other, but it's not going to be resolved in one day and I want to enjoy my stint on Hot in Cleveland. Sometimes it's OK to walk away from an argument.

The key to a healthy, strong relationship is communication -- of which we had a breakdown. Our marriage is stronger because of this. I don't regret it because of that, but its still hard to watch on-screen and share with the world.

I'd like to thank everyone for the supportive tweets, Facebook messages, and notes to my website. I'm so appreciative of everyone who understands that relationships aren't always perfect, and you all seem to be proponents of seeing real moments in our lives (good and bad) instead of just making "nice nice" for the cameras.

On a happier note, next week you get to see me in action! Back at work as an actress with a great guest star role on TVLand's Hot in Cleveland! I had a great time and I'm excited to share it with all of you! If you'd like a sneek peak you can check out scenes on my website HeatherDubrow.com

Thanks again for watching. Until next time!

Send your questions to @OKmagazine and use #OKAskHeather I am answering questions on etiquette, party planning, child rearing, health and beauty. Ask away!

You can also follow me on Twitter @heatherdubrow
I finally have Instagram! Follow me @heatherdubrow
Check out my website: HeatherDubrow.com
Like me on Facebook

You can also follow my toenail-cutting husband on Twitter: @drdubrow. Or check him out at DrDubrow.com

Read more about:

RHOC Reunion GIFs: The Gloves Come Off

See Tamra and Vicki wonder who really is miserable as told by GIFs, and other crazy Reunion moments.

Hey RHOC fans. It's time for Part 2. Are you excited? Are you nervous? Do we need to get out the healing hands? No, you're good.

rhoc-920-07.gif

Then let's get started. 

We begin by debating how Shannon can be so zen and so stressed all the time. There's not really an answer for that, but in order to help her feel more relaxed Andy did put nine oranges in the bowl! It's not lemons, but any citrus will help her calm down. 

rhoc-920-01.gif

The next topic of discussion -- that infamous birthday party of almost one. Lizzie is still not pleased with Tamra's excuse for not coming to her birthday.

rhoc-920-02.gif

 Tamra doesn't know what else Lizzie wants her to say. . .

rhoc-920-05.gif

Well, probably not blood, just an apology.

And I guess the gym membership doesn't hurt. . . 

rhoc-920-06.gif

Lizzie also just wants Tamra to know that the whole "you're too old to have a baby" was just because she thought Tamra had already accomplished so much. Tamra's response -- you don't know anything about me so don't talk.

That goes over well.

rhoc-920-04.gif

Next up, Shannon and David's marriage woes. They're fine now, but the ladies think that maybe Shannon overshared how bad everything was. Heather remembers something Shannon said, but not exactly. Shannon's response: "You can’t sit here and tell me that you remember things about me 'but I don’t remember what they were.'" Heather's response:

rhoc-920-03.gif

After that, it's time to talk about Fancy Pants. The ladies decide to put the plumerias in the past and move on. . .move on to deciding if Tamra stirs the pot. . .

rhoc-920-08.gif

Yup, gird your loins for this one. 

So Vicki asks Tamra to stop talking badly about Brooks. . . 

rhoc-920-09.gif

And Vicki non-chalantly says.  . 

rhoc-920-10.gif

So Tamra calmly responds. . .

rhoc-920-11.gif

At that point, Tamra gets her "Let's go" face on. And Vicki sheds any layers of clothing that could hold her back. . .

rhoc-920-12.gif

Vicki wants to know why if Tamra's so happy "she looks so miserable"? And then she lays it on. . . "You’re supposed to be getting better and better and better, but -- guess what -- you get. . .

rhoc-920-13.gif

Watch the whole thing go down again.

Moving on. . .let's talk about that infamous game. What was that game called?

rhoc-920-14.gif

According to Tamra it was "f---." According to Lizzie it was "marry."

rhoc-920-15.gif

When that doesn't go anywhere, the conversation turns to Vicki and Tamra and how they can move on from that massive arguments. Lizzie interjects and Tamra was very receptive to her counsel. . .

rhoc-920-16.gif

And so Lizzie is left to cry (with Heather providing the tissues). Eventually Andy wraps things up, pointing out that it took nine seasons, but Vicki is now officially the voice of reason. Low fives for that!

rhoc-920-17.gif

And that's it! Another great O.C. season. Tequila shots for all!