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    Lydia McLaughlin

    Guilty by Association with Alexis

    Lydia explains how surreal it was being in the middle of Tamra, Heather, and Alexis' feud.

    Apr 22

    All aboard the crazy train!

    I'm officially a Housewife. . .and I have an orange! Hooray! YOLO (You Only Live Once) is my "catchphrase," and is basically why I decided to do the show. It seems to be my motto in this season of my life. I am excited for this journey and opportunity and am grateful you are on it with me.

    When Alexis came over and we had a playdate at my house, I mentioned my meeting with Heather. I went on to mention the whole diamond ring thing because I knew it would come out eventually, so I was trying to be direct with her. I think it is insightful to watch yourself back on video -- not everyone gets to do this in life. I am trying to take this gift as a learning opportunity. Evidently, not only am I a hugger but I am also a laugher. I seem to laugh in awkward situations or when I am a bit uncomfortable. I obviously am uncomfortable asking Alexis about her "fake" diamond ring, but I also wanted to know why Heather would tell me this and if it is true.

    Speaking of awkward. . .the dinner with the Dubrows was not actually awkward at all. It was a fabulous dinner. Heather and I got along really well, and we all laughed and had a great time. I think the whole magazine "cover" drama was blown way out of proportion. Heather is obviously beautiful and would make a great cover. She demonstrates elegance and class. However, we were not looking for a cover feature at that time. We only have four issues a year and the cover gets secured quickly.

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    tru2god07 5 pts

    Lydia, At first I thought God was sending Alexis a real friend. It made since for you and your husband to become friends with Alexis and Jim. "A house is known by the company it keeps." What doesn't make since is for you to side with the people that actually make fun of Christians. You say you can be friends with everyone, but you've already shown you can't. You've begun to correct Alexis and join in the gossip with the others. Call it what it is. Saying things nicely is still saying them. Do you really want to fit in that bad? Lydia, I don't mean to sound harsh, but people's lives are changed by what others do to them. As much as I love Alexis I wish she would get off the show because I fear they will destroy her. I hope out of ignorance of the situation you don't help them do it. Why do you think Tamra agreed to let Alexis come to the party and then announced she was mad she was coming right before she arrived? You might pray for wisdom in this situation and maybe a little discernment. It would probably also be helpful to take time to watch all the previous shows.

    Violet12 16 pts

    Hey little miss new thing!!!!  You better find out the truth before you accuse Alexis of anything and if you keep assuming NO ONE will be on your side.  You were friends with Alexis first and if you said that crap to me - we would be done.  If you like Heather - then I already know I don't like you. 

    softtail06 267 pts

    Lydia- it seems very important to you that Heather be your friend. Don't stomp all over Alexis in the process. I'm not sure you're going to be good for this show. I see you becoming like the brat pack (Heather, Gretchen and Tamra).

    Alexis24 7 pts

    LYDIA, I LOVE YOU!!! You're a very pretty girl that adds a different flavor to ORANGE COUNTY!

    Beentheirdonethat 240 pts

    You're ridiculous! It was bullying rich girl who is cushioned by life with your money!

    shecodes 1036 pts

    Frankly, you seem like you are itching to throw your "friend" Alexis under the bus in order to get in good with the "cool girls" (read:  mean witches).   You keep harping at Alexis and friends don't do that.

    DutchGirl69 935 pts

    I think you are classic...seen it sooo many times..

     

    You are using Alexis to get into the girls..you will turn on her when you have an opening with the girls you really want to be friends with...

     

    I know I am right....we will see...

     

    realhousewivesviewer123 7 pts

    You seem like a very nice and cute girl!  I like that you seem so positive and full of life!  Please be careful and don't let all the girls get to you and let this take over your life.  I think as long as you put your family first and don't get too caught up in all the drama then you will be just fine and be a joy to watch :)  But if you haven't noticed by all her yelling, put downs, anger, and swearing, Tamara is a mean girl and clearly has some serious issues going on in her life.  I think as long as you are nice to her but don't get too close to her then it will all be good!!  Just realized that Tamra turns on everyone and also turns them into mean people so beware!!!!!!!!

    jmadden 7 pts

    Bad Hair! And very provincial. Try to be somewhat original, amusing, or provocative? Very sheltered and sad.

    cindyk64 5 pts

    Lydia, stay true to who you are, please do not let the ladies or others here put negative thought in your head....Those ladies can be something else and at times class is not it, they clearly can not let the past stay there, so maybe you being new can bring a new fresh approach to them 

    lindalulu 9 pts

    you seem to be nice and trying to stay out of the drama, but at some point you will have to speak up again to alexis and to vicki  as you did tonite.

    Miked1971 11 pts

    It's official. Lydia is an idiot.

    mks123456 240 pts

    Gretchen, Tamar and Heather beware - Mean girls-you will be next

    DutchGirl69 935 pts

     mks123456 I'm not sure what you mean by this, but it did make me laugh!!

    RoseWilde 1906 pts

    I'm not really sure about you, but maybe you will turn out to be sincerely sweet after all. You might be able to broker peace between Alexis and the other women. That would be very impressive indeed. I truly hope you are the real deal and not another two-faced social climbing wannabe. 

    Itokagi23 3810 pts

    You should have kept out of a situation that you obviously know nothing about. When you were introduced for the first time on this show, you mentioned how wealthy your family is at least three times, WTF?? You joined the right group of women, good luck, you'll need it!

    lindsay.annw 72 pts

    Lydia, clearly Alexis was bullied.. I'm not sure why the cast of housewives doesn't notice, like they're in fricken lala land, and just want to have a ton of denial regarding bullying.. but about 90% of the fans, Dr. B (psychologist), and your friend is saying it is a form of bullying. I'm really hoping you pull through this season Lydia, I really really want to like you..

    macombmommy 1981 pts

     lindsay.annw It sounds like she believes like a lots of us do - that Alexis was not bullied.  I know what the good Doctor said, but she also said that Alexis has been guilty of being a bully herself, and that she puts herself in the position of a victim and has a role to play in the drama as well.  Bottom line, Alexis is not blameless by a long shot.  

    Loverhoc1 21 pts

    Lydia, I like you and I am giving you a chance. Think long and hard about this. If someone was treating you like that or if you had a daughter and girls were treating her like that, that would be considered bullying.

    kayjayh 9 pts

     smile1234 I do too.  Hang in there and try to not take all the mean comments to heart!  I'm surprised at all the bashing going on!

    RDaniels 1034 pts

    Lydia, Welcome to crazy! You seem sweet! That can be good or bad! I would say, go buy all the seasons of this show and watch, learn and make up your mind for yourself. Just a little advice.

    DutchGirl69 935 pts

    I think you are classic...seen it sooo many times..

    You are using Alexis to get into the girls..you will turn on her when you have an opening with the girls you really want to be friends with...

    I know I am right....we will see...

     

    RDaniels 1034 pts

    @DutchGirl69 I can see what you mean. She messed up when she talked with Alexis and Heather. She should've been honest with the both of them about whatever was said between whomever it was said. Better yet, she should've told them both she didn't want to hear anything about the other period. Now, Heather will have an eye on her. She just made a bad first impression with that situation.

    DutchGirl69 935 pts

     RDaniels  DutchGirl69 After watching this weeks episode..WOW..the comment that Lydia made "I can see why the girls don't like Alexis" 

    DutchGirl69 935 pts

     RDaniels Your not a friend Lydia..that was horrible!!

    piperbeau 12680 pts

    Lydia it is very rude to tell someone, that what they are feeling, is not legitimate!! Alexis was crying, and she felt very ganged up on, for you to tell her otherwise is rude!! Don't be that girl... You seem like a kind person, but you definitely weren't being kind to Alexis that night... She needed a friend... 

    HadToDoIt 1861 pts

     piperbeau

     Lydia was giving her honest opinion.  Since when is being a friend only telling a person what they want to hear?  Trying to have someone see another vantage point is not rude.  Maybe that's Alexis and Vicki's view of a friend, but definitely not everyone's! 

    artjvan 19 pts

     HadToDoIt  piperbeau sometimes being a friend is just listening in the midst of a crisis and not offering one's opinion in that moment.

    Gatorgirl1 2576 pts

    @piperbeau Exactly what I was thinking. I think Lydia should have waited to speak with her at a more appropriate time.

    nndolls 217 pts

    Lydia- Let me give you some words of advice, you are young yet and probably don't know. But when you were confronting Alexis in the  limo about how she used the word bullying, that was NOT the time to tell her that, she was not emotionally ready to hear what you had to say. Because she is so emotionally upset it just looks like you are turning on her. At that time you should have bee emotionally supportive of her  and shown her nothing but empathy. You say your supportive of Alexis but being supportive means showing compassion for the fact she just felt ganged up on again, it was really bad timing to try to reason with Alexis about the definition if bullying, couldn't you see she was bursting into tears???  That is not the time to try to reason with somebody. You need to wait unti people are in a better emotional state before you try to reason with someone, they will then be more receptive to what you have to say. It is all about being sensitive to people, at that time you were NOT being sensitive to where Alexis was it. LIVE and LEARN Lydia. It was  up to you to be compassionate  for her feelings in that moment. Not Lecture her about the  definition of bullying,   the last thing she emotionally needed was a lecture.

    drakey 389 pts

     nndolls I have a feeling in Lydia's world she'll buy a friend if she needs one!

    unomas66 78 pts

    you need to really reconcile what you say, for example "my parents brought me up so that there was no difference with anyone else in the world";  with what is real.  your comment that while you are at your child's karate class.. and your inability to stay focused on him while you are distracted looking at the "huge diamond on a woman's finger, etc"... speaks volumes.  wow. another housewife trying to present themselves as being non-materialistic... 

    take some lessons from Heather.. at least she makes no attempt to present anything other than what she is. when you were sitting waiting for the baby sitter to arrive... I actually thought you came across as the babysitter.. you come across as very childlike and immature.  

     

    RDaniels 1034 pts

    @unomas66 I have to say, I agree. I think, she will have some major adjusting to do this first season. I would advise any new housewife to go buy all the past seasons and learn and judge for yourself. Lydia saying the things she has said already is setting her up for a whole situation of comparison with Alexis. These women really need to watch themselves and see for themselves how they can come across. You are right about Heather. She does not pretend nor do I think she lives beyond her means.

    carom 444 pts

    It appears that you have not read The Bible which views suicide as equal to murder and sin against God.  So,.. when someone, for example, a Christian is not killing himself, how would you ever know that he is being bullied, if your definition of bullying is based on killing oneself?

    Beentheirdonethat 240 pts

     carom

     Yes suicide is sin. But GOD is merciful to ALL who suffer & are hopeless.

    catu13 122 pts

    Lydia, I hope you please do some research on bullying, especially given that you have young children, because if you condone what was done at that party then I serious question how you will raise your children to treat others.  Claiming nervous laughter after the fact does not make it look any better. As a teacher, I can tell you that if the behavior demonstrated that night had happened in a classroom setting it would absolutely be called bullying.  A person does not have to take their own life before they are officially called a victim of bullying.  Surely you know that.

    FlowerGirl1 2242 pts

     catu13 they will be jerks like she is 

    RDaniels 1034 pts

    @catu13 I can see your point. You also, seem to be one of the viewers that think Alexis has been bullied. I can see that in a class room setting it would come off different. However, these are grown women. Yes, I know bullying can be done by all ages,etc. What I question is, when Alexis did the same thing to Vicki a few years go, no one cried bully. When, the women get together and try to have an honest conversation with Alexis, that included their opinions, it is bullying. Had they talked to Alexis one on one in private, the way Alexis says it should've been, what would she have called them then? I feel like that Alexis has a problem hearing others opinions about her. Lydia, is young. She will, learn, I'm imaging its going to be a long and hard road ahead

    Empath 99 pts

    @RDaniels Why should anyone be giving their opinions about someone else. Alexis didn't ask their opinion of her. If not solicited, keep your opinion of someone else to yourself.

    HadToDoIt 1861 pts

     catu13

    Alexis is on a reality TV show at her own free will.  Evidently, she is not in such distress that she feels the need to escape (she signed back for another season willilngly).  This is not a classroom setting, Alexis is not defenseless (I saw her going at it), nor a child.  Apples and oranges. 

    macombmommy 1981 pts

     HadToDoIt  catu13 Thanks for the great post.  To me it is strange to keep hearing folks compare the actions/recriminations of children to those of adults.  I wonder sometimes why folks on these boards are not able to grasp context.  We are not talking about children folks.    Lots of things are inappropriate or damaging to children, but are less so for adults, who to your point have free will in most situations (not all - that is not to say that an adult can never be a victim).   

    joytoo 4758 pts

     macombmommy  HadToDoIt  catu13 Heather, Gretchen, and Tamra did not behave like any adults I have ever met. And yes, it was bullying.

    MareBearG 329 pts

    Show some back bone and support your friend Alexis!

    Turbolift 25 pts

    All I can say is  'RUN FORREST, RUN' ...      You're going to get sucked back into junior high school behavior...  It seems the more wealth the ladies have, the more junvenile they become.  

    Lulu1@ 105 pts

     Turbolift

     Very true...but have to correct you as Trashra and Gretchen have no wealth...They want to act like they do, but they don't. Let's sit back and watch CUT go under, and Eddie run off with a young 20something cute real blonde. 

    gabbyval 164 pts

     Turbolift wow...how smart are you..."Run Forest Run"????????????   Did you even get that movie or any of the meaning????   You just gave her a huge compliment!    Forest Gump was smarter and knew more about appreciating and understanding what was most important in life than most of the world.....THAT WAS THE POINT!  Has to do with the heart and common sense. 

    digitalcake 23 pts

    next weeks episode makes you seem so jealous and NON-christian.  insecure much?

    jaybar 6 pts

    I get it! I have a nervous laugh too and have been in situations that laughing was so not cool! LOL! See! ;)

    krystal_clear 212 pts

    To tell Alexis that she was not bullied, was insensitive, because the hostilities and constant verbal beatdown was not directed at you, so how can you judge her feelings? Take care, I hope you last with this group.