View All PostsLydia McLaughlin
Guilty by Association with Alexis
Lydia explains how surreal it was being in the middle of Tamra, Heather, and Alexis' feud.
Apr 22Once we all sat down the tensions began to rise again. Gretchen wouldn't even look our way. Watching it back now, I see that she obviously has a lot of issues with Alexis and I was just feeling that energy. However, that night, I felt like she was cold and unfriendly and didn't want me around. She clearly has a lot going on in her personal life but I didn't know any of this. All I knew is I'm new to this group of woman and she would barely look look at me, yet alone talk to me. When I tried to engage her all I got was one word answers.
Once the fighting began I am like a deer in headlights. I had never experienced anything life this. I was not mentally prepared for such passionate feelings of anger, hurt, and bitterness. Again, I laugh at an inappropriate time. Heather says, "I just glazed" and Alexis declares, "Me too." They both make this dramatic hand movement. I seriously am just overwhelmed and can't believe this is happening all around me and that I'm right in the middle of it all. I have a lot of respect for Heather and Alexis, so to see them upset I was taken aback. I was not anticipating all this tension and apparently my go to is laughter. . .again. If I could go back and re-do this night, there is obviously a lot of changes I would make. If only life were that simple.
Yikes. We haven't even left the building yet. I can't wait to see how this turns out -- and I lived through it!
Until next week, you can follow me on Twitter @OCLydia or LydiaM.com
xoxo Lydia
Hey little miss new thing!!!! You better find out the truth before you accuse Alexis of anything and if you keep assuming NO ONE will be on your side. You were friends with Alexis first and if you said that crap to me - we would be done. If you like Heather - then I already know I don't like you.
Lydia- it seems very important to you that Heather be your friend. Don't stomp all over Alexis in the process. I'm not sure you're going to be good for this show. I see you becoming like the brat pack (Heather, Gretchen and Tamra).
LYDIA, I LOVE YOU!!! You're a very pretty girl that adds a different flavor to ORANGE COUNTY!
You're ridiculous! It was bullying rich girl who is cushioned by life with your money!
Frankly, you seem like you are itching to throw your "friend" Alexis under the bus in order to get in good with the "cool girls" (read: mean witches). You keep harping at Alexis and friends don't do that.
I think you are classic...seen it sooo many times..
You are using Alexis to get into the girls..you will turn on her when you have an opening with the girls you really want to be friends with...
I know I am right....we will see...
You seem like a very nice and cute girl! I like that you seem so positive and full of life! Please be careful and don't let all the girls get to you and let this take over your life. I think as long as you put your family first and don't get too caught up in all the drama then you will be just fine and be a joy to watch :) But if you haven't noticed by all her yelling, put downs, anger, and swearing, Tamara is a mean girl and clearly has some serious issues going on in her life. I think as long as you are nice to her but don't get too close to her then it will all be good!! Just realized that Tamra turns on everyone and also turns them into mean people so beware!!!!!!!!
Bad Hair! And very provincial. Try to be somewhat original, amusing, or provocative? Very sheltered and sad.
Lydia, stay true to who you are, please do not let the ladies or others here put negative thought in your head....Those ladies can be something else and at times class is not it, they clearly can not let the past stay there, so maybe you being new can bring a new fresh approach to them
you seem to be nice and trying to stay out of the drama, but at some point you will have to speak up again to alexis and to vicki as you did tonite.
It's official. Lydia is an idiot.
Gretchen, Tamar and Heather beware - Mean girls-you will be next
mks123456 I'm not sure what you mean by this, but it did make me laugh!!
I'm not really sure about you, but maybe you will turn out to be sincerely sweet after all. You might be able to broker peace between Alexis and the other women. That would be very impressive indeed. I truly hope you are the real deal and not another two-faced social climbing wannabe.
You should have kept out of a situation that you obviously know nothing about. When you were introduced for the first time on this show, you mentioned how wealthy your family is at least three times, WTF?? You joined the right group of women, good luck, you'll need it!
Lydia, clearly Alexis was bullied.. I'm not sure why the cast of housewives doesn't notice, like they're in fricken lala land, and just want to have a ton of denial regarding bullying.. but about 90% of the fans, Dr. B (psychologist), and your friend is saying it is a form of bullying. I'm really hoping you pull through this season Lydia, I really really want to like you..
lindsay.annw It sounds like she believes like a lots of us do - that Alexis was not bullied. I know what the good Doctor said, but she also said that Alexis has been guilty of being a bully herself, and that she puts herself in the position of a victim and has a role to play in the drama as well. Bottom line, Alexis is not blameless by a long shot.
Lydia, I like you and I am giving you a chance. Think long and hard about this. If someone was treating you like that or if you had a daughter and girls were treating her like that, that would be considered bullying.
I like you girl. Hang
smile1234 I do too. Hang in there and try to not take all the mean comments to heart! I'm surprised at all the bashing going on!
Lydia, Welcome to crazy! You seem sweet! That can be good or bad! I would say, go buy all the seasons of this show and watch, learn and make up your mind for yourself. Just a little advice.
I think you are classic...seen it sooo many times..
You are using Alexis to get into the girls..you will turn on her when you have an opening with the girls you really want to be friends with...
I know I am right....we will see...
@DutchGirl69 I can see what you mean. She messed up when she talked with Alexis and Heather. She should've been honest with the both of them about whatever was said between whomever it was said. Better yet, she should've told them both she didn't want to hear anything about the other period. Now, Heather will have an eye on her. She just made a bad first impression with that situation.
RDaniels DutchGirl69 After watching this weeks episode..WOW..the comment that Lydia made "I can see why the girls don't like Alexis"
RDaniels Your not a friend Lydia..that was horrible!!
Lydia it is very rude to tell someone, that what they are feeling, is not legitimate!! Alexis was crying, and she felt very ganged up on, for you to tell her otherwise is rude!! Don't be that girl... You seem like a kind person, but you definitely weren't being kind to Alexis that night... She needed a friend...
piperbeau
Lydia was giving her honest opinion. Since when is being a friend only telling a person what they want to hear? Trying to have someone see another vantage point is not rude. Maybe that's Alexis and Vicki's view of a friend, but definitely not everyone's!
HadToDoIt piperbeau sometimes being a friend is just listening in the midst of a crisis and not offering one's opinion in that moment.
@piperbeau Exactly what I was thinking. I think Lydia should have waited to speak with her at a more appropriate time.
Lydia- Let me give you some words of advice, you are young yet and probably don't know. But when you were confronting Alexis in the limo about how she used the word bullying, that was NOT the time to tell her that, she was not emotionally ready to hear what you had to say. Because she is so emotionally upset it just looks like you are turning on her. At that time you should have bee emotionally supportive of her and shown her nothing but empathy. You say your supportive of Alexis but being supportive means showing compassion for the fact she just felt ganged up on again, it was really bad timing to try to reason with Alexis about the definition if bullying, couldn't you see she was bursting into tears??? That is not the time to try to reason with somebody. You need to wait unti people are in a better emotional state before you try to reason with someone, they will then be more receptive to what you have to say. It is all about being sensitive to people, at that time you were NOT being sensitive to where Alexis was it. LIVE and LEARN Lydia. It was up to you to be compassionate for her feelings in that moment. Not Lecture her about the definition of bullying, the last thing she emotionally needed was a lecture.
nndolls I have a feeling in Lydia's world she'll buy a friend if she needs one!
you need to really reconcile what you say, for example "my parents brought me up so that there was no difference with anyone else in the world"; with what is real. your comment that while you are at your child's karate class.. and your inability to stay focused on him while you are distracted looking at the "huge diamond on a woman's finger, etc"... speaks volumes. wow. another housewife trying to present themselves as being non-materialistic...
take some lessons from Heather.. at least she makes no attempt to present anything other than what she is. when you were sitting waiting for the baby sitter to arrive... I actually thought you came across as the babysitter.. you come across as very childlike and immature.
@unomas66 I have to say, I agree. I think, she will have some major adjusting to do this first season. I would advise any new housewife to go buy all the past seasons and learn and judge for yourself. Lydia saying the things she has said already is setting her up for a whole situation of comparison with Alexis. These women really need to watch themselves and see for themselves how they can come across. You are right about Heather. She does not pretend nor do I think she lives beyond her means.
It appears that you have not read The Bible which views suicide as equal to murder and sin against God. So,.. when someone, for example, a Christian is not killing himself, how would you ever know that he is being bullied, if your definition of bullying is based on killing oneself?
carom
Yes suicide is sin. But GOD is merciful to ALL who suffer & are hopeless.
Lydia, I hope you please do some research on bullying, especially given that you have young children, because if you condone what was done at that party then I serious question how you will raise your children to treat others. Claiming nervous laughter after the fact does not make it look any better. As a teacher, I can tell you that if the behavior demonstrated that night had happened in a classroom setting it would absolutely be called bullying. A person does not have to take their own life before they are officially called a victim of bullying. Surely you know that.
catu13 they will be jerks like she is
@catu13 I can see your point. You also, seem to be one of the viewers that think Alexis has been bullied. I can see that in a class room setting it would come off different. However, these are grown women. Yes, I know bullying can be done by all ages,etc. What I question is, when Alexis did the same thing to Vicki a few years go, no one cried bully. When, the women get together and try to have an honest conversation with Alexis, that included their opinions, it is bullying. Had they talked to Alexis one on one in private, the way Alexis says it should've been, what would she have called them then? I feel like that Alexis has a problem hearing others opinions about her. Lydia, is young. She will, learn, I'm imaging its going to be a long and hard road ahead
@RDaniels Why should anyone be giving their opinions about someone else. Alexis didn't ask their opinion of her. If not solicited, keep your opinion of someone else to yourself.
catu13
Alexis is on a reality TV show at her own free will. Evidently, she is not in such distress that she feels the need to escape (she signed back for another season willilngly). This is not a classroom setting, Alexis is not defenseless (I saw her going at it), nor a child. Apples and oranges.
HadToDoIt catu13 Thanks for the great post. To me it is strange to keep hearing folks compare the actions/recriminations of children to those of adults. I wonder sometimes why folks on these boards are not able to grasp context. We are not talking about children folks. Lots of things are inappropriate or damaging to children, but are less so for adults, who to your point have free will in most situations (not all - that is not to say that an adult can never be a victim).
macombmommy HadToDoIt catu13 Heather, Gretchen, and Tamra did not behave like any adults I have ever met. And yes, it was bullying.
Show some back bone and support your friend Alexis!
All I can say is 'RUN FORREST, RUN' ... You're going to get sucked back into junior high school behavior... It seems the more wealth the ladies have, the more junvenile they become.
Turbolift
Very true...but have to correct you as Trashra and Gretchen have no wealth...They want to act like they do, but they don't. Let's sit back and watch CUT go under, and Eddie run off with a young 20something cute real blonde.
Turbolift wow...how smart are you..."Run Forest Run"???????????? Did you even get that movie or any of the meaning???? You just gave her a huge compliment! Forest Gump was smarter and knew more about appreciating and understanding what was most important in life than most of the world.....THAT WAS THE POINT! Has to do with the heart and common sense.
next weeks episode makes you seem so jealous and NON-christian. insecure much?
I get it! I have a nervous laugh too and have been in situations that laughing was so not cool! LOL! See! ;)
To tell Alexis that she was not bullied, was insensitive, because the hostilities and constant verbal beatdown was not directed at you, so how can you judge her feelings? Take care, I hope you last with this group.
Lydia, At first I thought God was sending Alexis a real friend. It made since for you and your husband to become friends with Alexis and Jim. "A house is known by the company it keeps." What doesn't make since is for you to side with the people that actually make fun of Christians. You say you can be friends with everyone, but you've already shown you can't. You've begun to correct Alexis and join in the gossip with the others. Call it what it is. Saying things nicely is still saying them. Do you really want to fit in that bad? Lydia, I don't mean to sound harsh, but people's lives are changed by what others do to them. As much as I love Alexis I wish she would get off the show because I fear they will destroy her. I hope out of ignorance of the situation you don't help them do it. Why do you think Tamra agreed to let Alexis come to the party and then announced she was mad she was coming right before she arrived? You might pray for wisdom in this situation and maybe a little discernment. It would probably also be helpful to take time to watch all the previous shows.
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