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    Lydia McLaughlin

    Keeping It Real With Alexis

    Lydia considers herself a good friend to Alexis, but that doesn't mean she thinks she is being bullied.

    Apr 29

    This was another hard episode for me to watch and it stirred up a lot of emotions. Let me just start by saying that Alexis is an amazing person. She is kindhearted, funny, and I love being around her. I consider Alexis a true friend, and it was in the spirit of friendship that I was trying to calmly explain to her why I felt the other girls got so fired up. However, I don't believe she was being bullied, and I don't think feeling that way makes me a bad friend. I know my heart and intentions were good. I left the party with Alexis and checked in on her a few days later as any friend would do for someone they care about.

    Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying that Alexis shouldn't have been upset about the evening. I truly believe she had every right to have hurt feelings. But don't forget, we signed up to be on a reality TV show. We get paid to show up and express our opinions and our feelings regardless of whether or not anyone else agrees with us. It's that dynamic that makes for good TV and why you all tune in to watch, right? So, for Alexis to call the girls bullies in my opinion is not playing by the rules and what I meant when I tell her, "you know what you signed up for."

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    jbenny 171 pts

    When you are a true Christian, you don't have to advertise it.

    AlleyCat43 11 pts

    Lydia - I like what I've seen so far from you.  You seem like a strong lady who is not going to blindly form an opinion of anyone by what the other ladies say, but you are going to develop your own opinions, which is very refreshing.  Being a friend does not always mean agreeing with that person, it sometimes is more about being honest with that person.  Again, so far, I like what I've seen from you. I hope you continue to contribute to the group in a positive manner.  You are a beautiful girl, and seem to really have your life together and seem to be able to handle yourself in the situations you have been put into on the show. Welcome to the show!  Looking forward to seeing more of you.

    Jdav11511 58 pts

    I'm starting to like you lydia because you told Alexis the truth. She doesn't want to hear anything bad about herself. Just wait she will be calling you a bully next.

    LosAngelesBravoLover 808 pts

    You earned my respect when you told Alexis that she wasn't being bullied. Gretchen took 2 seasons worth of beatings from mean Vicki and meaner tamra, and she never claimed that. People call Alexis phony and she's being bullied?Get real!

    spagal1 51 pts

    Being verbally attacked by 3 GROWN women is bullying!! Hopefully you won't become the 4th and turn your back on Alexis!!

    Messenger18 112 pts

    Lydia, bullying comes in many degrees and all don't end with suicide or an attempt. When a person is berated, ridiculed and treated badly by the same group of people every time there is contact, I consider those people bullies! Tanra should never have agreed to allow Alexis to come, but then it did provide her with a perfect time to show off again. The entire thing was embarrassing to watch! I stopped watching RHONJ because I didn't want to tune in and watch Teresa get attacked every week although I'm not really that fond of Teresa. I'm on the verge of dropping out of Orange county although I'm not fond of Alexis. Just can't stand watching such really mean spirited women showing off to insure their place on the show and camera time!

    Luv2rocku 37 pts

    @Messenger18 Unfortunately , that's what it is . The viewers are not going to tune into puffy clouds and sunshine, Most people love the dirty drama. I liked the early shows that at the time ,were geared toward the upper scale shallow but wealthy women of OC .the fashion, travel, parties, glamor . The beautiful homes and costal back round that beautifies the OC life style..The viewers are the ones that dictate what direction these shows go. It's seems people are more interested in the shallow and love looking through the voyeur window and eat up all the ugly drama. We still have a home in OC but moved over the hills to a gourgouse Ranch where it's different . I love our home ,I raise my horses have plenty of room and privacy . And women don't wear a full face of make up just go to the mail box,. Today we are headed back to OC to spend the day with our son. I still love OC, and once I am to old to take care of our ranch we will move back full time. There is much more about being A REAL OC housewife than currently what we are being shown. I do think they could class up the show a bit. Right now Heather and Lydia are the only ones who are showing that there is more to being a housewife than fake it till you make it, I love south OC and the life style. I wish Bravo would show more of that. Lisa Vanderpump is a great example of what being a housewife should be about,,..Everyone could take a few lessons from her. Happy Mother's Day all you Mothers! :-)

    mp.212 1012 pts

    Lydia, you're just so cute! Congratulations on your anniversary and renewing of your vows! You seem to have something truly special with your husband! I myself am planning my wedding right now and I can't wait to start my life with my amazing husband-to-be!!On that note, I can see how Eddie would be stressed about wedding planning, with starting a new business, adjusting to living with not only Tamra, but her kids and everything else, it can definitely turn into a stress, which sucks because it's supposed to be fun! So I agree with you that maybe they should wait a while first. Anyways, last episode when you ran after Alexis, I thought it was the right thing for you to do (even though she went all sorts of crazy, like the other women did), I also agree with you that it was NOT bullying! It just infuriates me when an ADULT claims they are being bullied, what kind of bull is that?? Is Alexis twelve?? Can she not stand up for herself?? Are they attacking her for no reason, or are they just simply trying to tell their side of the story?? Come on, let's be honest here people! I didn't like Alexis, then I started to not mind her, now I'm back to not liking her because all she does is scream victim. How unattractive is that?? She doesn't even have any reason too. Did she get it in Costa Rica from Tamra? Yeah, Tamra went overboard and should've been nicer, but all Heather and Gretchen did was try and offer constructive criticism. Alexis only saw what she wanted to see, because she wanted the sympathy vote. Period. And she did the same thing to you. the ONLY thing you were trying to do was help Alexis by offering constructive criticism and what did she do?? "Oh, poor me, poor me, everybody's attacking me, they all ganged up on me, I'm being bullied, just feel bad for me!" She's not a victim. She's just simply pretending to be one. After watching the last episode especially, I lost alot of respect for Alexis. I really like you though! I think you're smart, sweet, and I love your honesty!

    Anea 34 pts

    Lay off your mom man. Let her smoke the "green plant." No one ever dies from doing that. If you can chug down lemon drops like there is no tomorrow and wake up with a massive headache while being at risk for alcohol poisoning, then whats wrong with your mom tugging on the chronic and getting the munchies later?

    anmazinn 7 pts

    I am afraid Bravo has made a mistake.  When do people have words of prayer on TV and discuss drugs in the same conversation?  You do not have to "prove" you are a Christian. 

    This comment has been deleted
    madsharky 1068 pts

     Dutchgirlyoyo  anmazinn

     The whole fairy dusting thingy is intriguing...I am kind of mesmerized by the hippie Momma.

    jbenny 171 pts

     madsharky  Dutchgirlyoyo  anmazinn

     The whole fairy dust thing is trite and inane.

    alyssa1777 5 pts

    God bless you, Lydia. You are keeping it real and honoring God by making your allegiance to Him before anyone else. God bless you for being such a faithful Christian and honoring and loving your mother despite all of the hurts you probably endured being raised by an addict your entire life. I pray that The Lord will restore the years the locusts have eaten in your relationship with her and entire family. I am praying for your mother's sobriety. It is a spiritual condition, so if she is truly willing to change and surrenders to God I have NO DOUBT that she will remain sober. Your LIGHT SHINES SO BRIGHT!

    jbenny 171 pts

     alyssa1777

     Two fundamentalists on the show are two too many.

    piperbeau 12680 pts

    Your mom needs to pour a bottle of fairy dust on the mean threesome!! And you are definitely not a good friend to Alexis!!

    dobnerk 505 pts

    You're playing both sides of the fence!  That's playing dirty.  Be true to yourself and be honest.  Hopefully, you'll stick with the nice girls, including Alexis, and run for your life away from the 'mean girls,' Gretchen, Tamra (the most horrible human on earth), and Heather.

    cedlin 44 pts

    Lydia ... Four words of advice.. Don't fall for it Don't be desperate to be part of the group by needing to be excepted. Take it from a viewer...the other girls ARE mean to Alexis.

    dobnerk 505 pts

    You want to know "why the ladies don't like Alexis."  Well, it's because she's a nice person that they knew wasn't going to fight back in a nasty way.  They see that as a weakness.  You seem like a very disloyal friend.  I liked you for the first hour.  But, your true colors came out quickly.  Be loyal to your friends.  Don't be afraid that if you don't play nice with the mean girls, they will go for you next.  You are either fear motivated or you can't see evil if it's staring you in the face.  Tamra, Gretchen and Heather are clearly the mean girls.  I consider what they do bullying.  Some people may not consider it bullying, but it's just a matter of definition. 

    Gymratz 725 pts

    A real friend doesn't cave into peer pressure, they rise above it and stand up for their friend. You call Alexis your friend, so be her friend then. Pick a side and stay with it. Have a backbone.

    quette432004 507 pts

    You are so two-faced. You got in the limo and said, WE took one for you. Really, you just claimed you were a genius. Whoever your with is who you agree with. You are so wishy washy.

    Bellachamp 24 pts

     quette432004 I so agree w/you!  Sad to see her straddling the fence...not someone I'd want as a friend! 

    mycatJenga 2139 pts

     quette432004 I couldn't agree more.

    FlutterBy 1158 pts

    Lydia, it is always nice to see someone in a big house using wire coat hangers...it makes you seem normal....and not over indulgent.....your husbands closet was not a second home, it was an actual closet....with wire coat hangers from the cleaners.....i am impressed

    joytoo 4758 pts

        It wasn't about the word bully. It was about how Tamra and her flying monkeys treated Alexis.  

    highflying65 19 pts

    Lydia I think you are just wonderful a fresh air. You are a true christian in believing in what the bible says thank you. You have given me a new belief in people thank you again. All the best to you and your family. Good luck on the show I think your going to need all you can get.

    smg6611 974 pts

    it isn't your decision whether someone feels bullied or not.

    you have no right to tell someone else how they should feel.

    Feelings of someone is personal and you can't judge them.

    BeachGirl008 11 pts

    Lydia, I think you are great! You are clear with what you believe and what you say. You made a great point that I have been waiting to hear from someone for ages regarding friendship, that you do not simply say what someone wants to hear, that you choose to express an honest opinion from your own perspective. That is true friendship, telling someone what they need to hear as opposed to what they want to hear. You were in no way or rude or lacking compassion, you acted as a good friend and person trying to help Alexis to understand the other side. Are we not all taught, and should we not at least strive, to try to look at things from other perspectives? You tried to help Alexis in a good way to see the other sides, from your objective point of view towards the situation, in a clear effort to help her to better understand how to process, deal with and move forward from that evening for her own benefit. Your suggestion for her engage with each of those women one-on-one was great ad to start with Heather a good one, being the perhaps easiest to actually sit and calmly discuss their issues together.

    skmmaj 199 pts

    You are about as "real" as Heather!!! You are already stabbing Alexis behind her back...

    sandrakay01 172 pts

    Oh Lydia, what have you gotten yourself into?  Why would you subject your beautiful family to this??  You've probably already found out some of what you "signed up for". 

    shecodes 1036 pts

    What is your preoccupation with the word "bully"?   I can't believe that you would choose THAT MOMENT to harp on a so-called "friend" about semantics when she is in tears from a blow up with such horrid women.   You really should learn how to exercise discretion if you lack enough  compassion in moments like that.   You could have simply closed your mouth - kept your opinion to yourself, and said "Let's get out of here.  This is a toxic situation".   Nobody needs your two cents in moments like that.

    highflying65 19 pts

     shecodes

     Your mistaken Alexis had obsession preoccupation with the word BULLY!

    LissaGabby 8 pts

    We need more of you on tv, you're a sweetheart and wise. I'm not sure how you got tangled up with these people, but sometimes God plants you where you can help folks the most. Go Lydia! You're one of the few housewives on any show that I wouldn't be completely ashamed for the rest of the world to see. You seem like you have your priorities straight. Stay strong and don't let them drag you down. 

    mommy0801 41 pts

    I hope to see more of you, and your beautiful family.  Time will tell if you are truly sweet natured and a good friend.  I also commend you for speaking truthfully to your friend, and the other ladies.  But, stand by Alexis and be the bridge between the groups that is much needed.  Build on your relationship with Heather and help in the healing process.  If you are as Christian as you say, we'll see it not in the vocal preaching, but by your actions.  Keep in mind, you are teaching your children by your actions.  I also have two boys, so fun.  As a mother, I am always concerned whether the example I am setting is the best I can offer them.

    sandrakay01 172 pts

     mommy0801

     How can Lydia be a good example if in her own words, "you know what you signed up for" and "it's that dynamic that makes for good t.v."  I like her, but when will her reality t.v. innocence be lost? 

    lisass 46 pts

    You have pretty hair what products do you use....your hair looks great!

    LadyK2507 401 pts

    Lydia, I love you girl!  Stay positive and continue to give your opinions as you see fit.  People are saying that you supported the mean girls but you didn't you actually went to Alexis before Vicki did and you said what you thought was going on from your perspective.  People are thinking you have not been briefed or you are not aware of whats happening but it seems you were on point with a lot of things.  And you are right Alexis is not being bullied but the other women have to learn how not to speak to her harshly at the same time, she can't handle that. 

     

    Lydia stay true to who you are and continue to be a positive person.

    beggs909 134 pts

    It always amazes me when there is a me housewife they throw themselves smack dab in the middle of something they were not around to experience. The fact that you didn't"t feel that Alexis was being bullied took a lot of nerve sense you're just beginning in the series. It was misplaced and inappropriate to say you were not bullied while Alexis is sitting in the car crying. Should have consoled your friend instead of jumping her like the others. She is entitled to her feelings and you may not see it as bullying but a lot of other people do. These are really mean girls that go for blood. They want Alexis off the show and maybe you do too. If the behaviors continue in this nasty mode towards Alexis. I will be missing this season. Hope you are a od addition to the show. So far I don"t care for you. Alexis asked you to come to be her support. Who needs enemies with a friend like you

    smmtty 121 pts

     beggs909 Isn't Lydia entitled to her own opinion also?  It seems if you don't jump on the bandwagon with all of you people who hate the "bullies" from this show, which in my opinion she wasn't bullied, you are condemned and will have nasty things said to you..on the show and on these comments.  I thought she seemed to understand what was going on well...she was friends with Alexis before the show and I'm sure that she got an earful from both Alexis, and Jim before the season even started about how these women "tore her down like a pack of wolves" when it seems like Jim is the one who tears her down all the time. (once again, just my OPINION).  She also seems much more knowledgeable  about  religion and the bible, and it appears she isn't using it as a platform just to make herself look better.  I was so turned off with that check Alexis gave her church...on camera!!!  She is fake and pretentious or at least that is how she comes off with her actions.  She does need to look inside and stop the victim, pity party and be who she really is (if she can even remember after Jim has brainwashed her).  She would be much more likeable!  Everyone needs to look inside themselves and find the things that they are not proud of and try to become the best person you can be.  Not just blame it on others, but it appears that a lot of people commenting on these blogs do not agree..but that's okay.  I like being an individual

    eCare 1336 pts

     

    Lydia has replaced Heather as the voice of reason of RHoOC.

    MV67 28 pts

    Lydia, I like you but you seem to mention more than once how well off your family is. We heard you the first time...no need to continually mention it. With that said... Don't fall into all this drama that started way before you came along. Deal with the woman one on one as your friendships develop.

    rosyposy 2514 pts

    You should have stayed.  I sure one of the other women would have given you a ride home.  You could have enjoyed the little witchcraft-like ceremony to bless the gym.  Wouldn't that have been fun.  And, to make things even better, the three jealous hens  would have been more pleased with you.

    maggie_01bklyn 180 pts

    Lydia, I will be watching tonight, thank you for keeping it real.

     

    Making someone feel uncomfortable or unwanted is not BULLYING. It is MEAN and RUDE, when these women first addressed Alexis on her cronic "bragging/boasting".  It was not done with the intent to bully.  However, it did hurt Alexis. As a result she opened the door to Vicky who was just mean to Alexis all along. It was Alexis who made a choice push Gretchen away.  It hurt Gretchen's feelings to be rejected.

    I do hope that you noticed that Alexis found fault in Vicky for not following her out of the party, and that it was Lydia who went in to see what was going on with Vicky.

    For the record, Tamara and Vicky are the QUEENS of Mean..... They always have been. 

    Vicky did not find fault with Tamara being mean till Vicky was on her Brooks "penis high" and flipped out on Tamara.

    madsharky 1068 pts

     maggie_01bklyn

     Maggie girl your telling it 100% straight, right on!

     

    Vicki still holds the record for the craziest freak outs.  Tamra's get out on Alexis was mild in comparison to Vicki's screamin' 80's party freak out and her freak out at Tamra over the "evil eye".

    RainbowMane 866 pts

     madsharky  maggie_01bklyn So true. Vicki's freak-outs will forever reign supreme. Has anyone done a video montage of them?

    covescattergun 74 pts

    Lydia, You obviously want to be accepted by the majority instead of doing what is right. You are just a follower , a sheep. If Alexis is smart she will not have a friendship??? with you because you are a fairweather friend. You want to do what is popular .  What a sell-out.  I wouldn't want you for a friend if you were the last one on the planet . Alexis is really too pretty to have friends...   all women seem to be jealous of her.

    Christiann52 6879 pts

    A true friend has the other one's back, especially when it's 3 on 1.  Quit hiding behind the whole bullying controversary.  Your tune sure changed when you saw Tarma walk up.  Shame on you.  And judging from your behavior next week, it's obvious you want to be on the mean girl's team.. Good luck with that!  And since you called Alexis out on her Christianity, doesn't the Bible also have something to say about gossiping???

    boga 714 pts

     Christiann52  It looks like Lydia's favorite Apostle is Judas Iscariot.

    How sad.

    Sonya777 466 pts

    @Christiann52 I couldn't help but think Lydia saw Tamra walk up to the back of the limo also, because she was facing that direction. I don't believe she didn't see Tamra!