Are you ready to spend your life with this recap (or at least the amount of your life it takes to read it with this recap?). I hope so, because this episode is all about monumental life changes, and also drawing pictures of stick figures responsible for crimes. Let's get into it.
We open with Gretchen giving Slade a ring post-ski. She's feeling a little snowbummed that Tamra and she couldn't work out their Malibu County issues -- and she's not into Heather's text ettiquette about the role. Gretchen's tired of being the bigger person and she's ready to let the truth that's on her side free. You speak your truth girl -- I feel sure that Heather will speak hers.
Next we see Heather and Terry checking out a lot in Newport Beach. First of all -- that's a lot of lot. Did it not look like the most sprawling cul de sac you've ever seen. Second of all (and speaking of cul de sacs), "I love a cul de sac street" might be my new favorite saying of all time. Seriously, it's true. Who doesn't love a cul de sac? It's a shame that Heather is the only one among us to really vocalize it and make me understand the true abiding affection I have for neighborhood circles. And so how can the Dubrow brood turn down a cool $16.5 million to move to a utopia like that? Plus, Collette is going to need the space (have you seen that child -- lots of energy!). And Terry says now he's going to be around more now. Though it might be hard to find him in 17,000 square feet.