The First 'Wives Club

Ep 14: Bravotv.com's Digital Producer debates what Vicki means when she calls Lauri "a piece of trash." 

on Jul 8, 2013

Hello little snow angels. I hope you are wearing your finest q-tip-style, '80s snowsuits and ready for action on the slopes. There's no time to learn to ski though, instead you'll be spending the time defending your explaining you've never had a threesome and swearing you were only under the covers watching a movie. Let's recap the Whistler whoop-ti-do.

Blame Canada
We open with Lydia getting her make-up done by a wonderful sprite (I loved her makeup artist's headband/hair). Lydia's assembled all the gals to head to her homeland so she can extol the wonders of the great north and try to use maple syrup to bind them together. Alexis is coming as well, and equipping her with a Swarovski-studded Bible to keep the drama at bay. One wonders how many rhinestones a Bible requires to keep this trip calm. Based on previous experience, I'd say bling it up.

Meanwhile Tamra and Heather are shopping for the necessities for the trip. Heather's preparing for a very truncated trip (Six hours. She's got to hustle back to shoot Malibu Country) and Tamra is terrified that Lauri's chatter about Vicki having a threesome will come back to haunt them on the slopes. Tamra does make a decent point -- if the woman can't say vagina aloud, how much experience do we think she has beyond handling her own? The other ladies also do some packing, Gretchen has a great ski outfit that to me looks right out of Speed Racer, Alexis has gloves with a built-in ring, and Vicki has the fun bus all gassed up.