So, after such a horrific week we just had, watching this week's episode of the girls getting together to see Tamra's gym was really hard for me to see. My intentions were "pure" and I had no ill intent inviting Alexis. I feel terrible that it ended up the way it did. In hindsight, I might have done things differently if I knew what the outcome would be.
Given the fact that we all have been friends, I thought the right thing to do was to ask Tamra if Alexis could come to her party. I didn't know all the reasons why Tamra and Alexis were at odds; I just felt it was a good reason to bring Alexis with me to be my "girl date." I didn't want to go by myself because I felt like I really didn't have an anchor or friend there. Everything was so new with Tamra and me, and I really didn't know how she would treat me in front of Gretchen. I just didn't want to be put in an awkward situation with them so I was a little apprehensive on going.
I think Tamra thinks that she has to choose who to talk to or what side to be on, which I don't want for her. That's not my position. I don't care if she and Gretchen are friends -– I just have no desire to be around Gretchen and want to stay away from her as much as possible. I wanted to be as cordial as I could be, but I wasn't going to let Gretchen demean me and walk all over me like she has in the past. I'm over it!
Leading up to the party, I was not aware of the reasons why Heather, Gretchen, and Tamra were upset with Alexis. I guess I chose to not to know because it's usually very petty and meaningless and will blow over. I think once these girls get older, they will realize we have to pick our battles and act like ladies. To constantly be looking for reasons to break someone down is just so exhausting and downright mean. I hate it and don't want to be around it anymore. Life is too short for it and I am doing my best to learn from other people so I don't do it myself either.