Hello children. I hope the child locks on the doors are engaged because there is no escaping this recap. And unlike Vicki, I know where you live, so you might as well embrace it.
My Opinion Way or the High Opinion Way
We open back at the dinner party, with Tamra trying to move Alexis' chair out into the parking lot. Unsurprisingly, once someone tries to move her cheese chair, she takes this as a cue to leave. While she waits for her limo, she tries her darnedest to get the definition of bullying through to Lydia (her Webster-worthy example: Costa Rica). Meanwhile again, inside the gals are discussing San Francisco (What did I tell you last week? Just put the clip on your phone ladies, you always want to reference it) and how it relates to the general term bullying. Heather goes so far as to defend Vicki and mention that it speaks volumes that she didn't also scoot her chair out to the parking lot to wait for the limo with Alexis.
While Heather is working on that barrel of monkeys, Vicki and Gretchen are having their own issues. And then, Vicki's plan to stay neutral is not working because Alexis feels like the longer she's inside the gym, the more unloyal she becomes. And then Vicki trots out to the car, and then Tamra trots out to stand near the car just in time to hear Alexis announce her Xanax dosage. Between the crying and the yelling and Tamra standing with the wine glass lording over the limo, God bless anyone that drove by the parking lot that night. It was quite a sight.
Then everyone makes it back inside in time for Vicki to draw the conclusion of the night: "Everybody's got way opinions." Amen to that sister. And with that many ways, things won't be solved anytime soon -- especially not a consensus who is more of a genius, Lydia or Vicki. And so, Vicki is exits out stage left to the Island of Tamra exiles.
And so, Tamra's psychic does her best to usher the bad energy out of Tamra's gym, and Vicki does her best to usher herself out of the limo. We don't have full results on how the first thing went, but hopefully it went a touch smoother than Vicki's exit from the limo. Pesky child locks. Anyway at least Lydia and Vicki love each other?
At least Vicki is having semi-smooth times at home. Briana and Vicki are bonding thanks to Baby Troy. Baby poop bringing people together! But as good as things are now that the little bundle is in the picture, Briana still has her doubts about Brooks -- and she feels like she's sort of on the same side as Tamra in that camp. Hmm, well maybe this whole Brooks thing will remain quiet and it won't even be an issue? We can all dream right?
In another part of the OC, Tamra and Eddie are eating some of his delicious native snacks (guacamole!) and discussing wedding plans -- or lack thereof. Eddie doesn't want to get deep into the wedding plans if that's going to stress them out. Why not save it for a time when there's less stress? Eddie doesn't want to say "Oh f--- I'm getting married." He wants to say "Oh f--- I'm getting married!" Syntax people! Of course, does that mean he asked when he was feeling the later? Also, when aren't weddings stressful? That's the only reason people buy you gifts -- because they feel sorry for how much work planning the whole thing was.
Meanwhile, Alexis is still feeling bummed in the aftermath of the gym incident. Lydia goes over to help Alexis unpack and perhaps unpack some of baggage with the women. Lydia thinks you should forgive everyone according to God's math (which allots folks 70 times 7 free passes), but Alexis feels like she's already hit her limit. Lydia wonders why Alexis can't muster up the strength to move on a little bit -- even just with Heather. Hopefully her wearing a children's crown in solidarity to Alexis headband helped her advice go through. It couldn't hurt for Alexis to try to tackle the issues one lady at a time.
My Baloney Has a First Name, Is It Brooks?
And then the Gunvalson gang descends upon the OC. There's Billy, and some ginger nephews, and most of all Vicki's amazing, road-rage having mom Joanne. Everyone has a drink and everyone has an opinion about Vicki's love life. When Vicki heads off to the grotto to talk about the state of the beer fridge with her brother, Ryan takes a moment to chat with his grandmother-in-law about Brooks' golddigger potential. Joanne worries the whole thing is a lot of baloney, but most of all Ryan worries about Brooks' need to invoke the "bro code."
Speaking of code, how much do you love Michael not divulging his address to Vicki!
Maybe he's just not divulging it because she doesn't want Ryan filming his pad too. Yes, it seems living with a marine has it's cons, cons like night vision cameras. More than the video repercussions, Vicki is annoyed at someone telling her what to do. Billy's response: you tell them what to do. . . and that's move out of her house if you don't like her rules.
What do you think? Should Vicki be the master of her domain? Should Alexis make up with Heather? Should Michael tell Vicki where he lives. Most of all is Colette cute enough to be a terror? (That answer is definitely yes.) Leave your thoughts in the comments.