Tamra: "I Feel Like A Jerk For Lying to Shannon"
Tamra explains why she told Heather about David's sensitive email to Shannon.
Okay, here it goes... I totally lied to Shannon and feel like a jerk!
Shannon called me the day before she came over and told me about the email. She was crying so hard and I told her if she needed to talk to come over any time. When I was at lunch with Heather I asked Heather to give Shannon a break because she was not in a good place and she was having some issues in her marriage. Heather asked me in a very concerned way, "What is going on, is Shannon OK?" I then told her that David sent her an email. I asked her to please not repeat it to anyone. I just wanted to explain to Heather why Shannon needed our support.
Heather has never been the type of person to gossip. I have shared many secrets with her and she has done the same with me. It is just not her character to repeat something that was told to her in confidence. It was not like we were sitting at a table making fun of her and her marriage issues. It was two concerned friends worried about a new friend that was dealing with some deep problems.
Yes, I will take total blame for it all. I should have never told anyone and I feel really bad about it. When I said that Shannon was drinking a lot it's because every time we were together she was drinking vodka. Like Danielle said, if I drank vodka like that I would pass out after the second one! Don't get me wrong, we all like to have a glass of wine, champagne, etc., and there is nothing wrong with that. But I felt her drinking was excessive. For the record I never said she was a "drunk" or an "alcoholic" like Shannon shared.
I have been in Shannon's shoes before so I relate to Shannon. Four and a half years ago I was in a similar situation in my marriage: I made bad choices and lashed out to people that didn't deserve it. When Shannon showed up at my house and she was telling me more about the email and how heartbroken she was, it killed me to see her so hurt. So when the text message from David came in and she showed me I thought, "WHAT THE HELL, HEATHER WOULD NEVER DO THAT." I knew there was no way that Heather would have told anyone about our conversation! When Shannon asked me, "Did you tell Heather?" I panicked and lied to her. At that moment I had was in shock, I wanted to talk to Heather and find out what happened -- we all know how these things get twisted.
Shannon left my house and I sat there thinking about what had happened and I knew that I needed to be honest with her. I called her 15 minutes after she left to tell her the truth but she would not pick up. I tried for a few more times the next day and she would not return my call. I was so upset with myself and never once blamed Heather. If I would have kept my mouth shut and never told Heather this private info would have never gotten back to David. I learned a very big lesson that day!
I think it took a lot of guts for Shannon to go over to Heather's house and confront her. I also understand where Heather is coming from. Last time she saw Shannon was at her holiday party and it did not go very well. So I'm sure Heather felt like she owed Shannon nothing. Shannon claims she was thrown out of Heather's house but I am not so sure I see it that way. I'll admit Heather did not have much compassion for Shannon but Heather never yelled at her or kicked her out of her house. I do not want to judge Heather for what she did, we all have our moments.
Dinner with Shannon was a bit awkward in the beginning. It was important for me to let Shannon know that I did tell Heather and it bothered me terribly that I lied. I wanted her to know that we were not sitting at lunch making fun of her problems. There is nothing I can do to take it back, but I knew that the first step to making it better was to sit down with Shannon and explain why I told Heather and that I was sorry.
Eddie and I have gone back and forth talking about babies. Before we got married Eddie expressed that he would like to have one child of his own. So since we got married I have had that in the back of my head and I couldn't let it go. I am very happy and content with my four kids but afraid that if I didn't give Eddie his own baby that he would always regret it. That is just me, always worrying about the future.
After getting married and opening CUT Fitness our lives have changed so much -- we are so busy with the kids, work and school that we have no spare time. So, I thought it would be a great idea to get a RealCare Baby infant simulator to see how it would fit into our lives. Eddie thought I was crazy, but I have seen it done at high schools and from what I have heard it is the closest thing to a real baby. It is a great way to test drive a baby and see how your life will change... Boy, did I forget about the sleepless nights, no showers, ponytails and not wanting to leave the house!
Stay tuned to find out what happens after one week with Astro. Clearly Eddie was in charge of naming his little boy.