Cheers to the end of a very difficult season for me. The reunion is the time to lay everything out on the table and straighten out any misconceptions. Emotions run high and voices get loud. I know that this year was probably my worst year on RHOC and I apologize to my fans for letting them down. I am not proud of my behavior and I have learned a lot from what has happened. I started the season at a very bad time in my life (something I have not spoken of publicly) and contemplated not returning to Season 9, now I wish I had taken a step back and dealt with my issues as needed.
Between family, running CUTFITOC.com, and Housewives I had no time to deal with what was happening to me personally which is not healthy. I tend to lash out when I am not happy, I push people away because I am hurting. I have never been good at dealing with emotion. I am not trying to make excuses for any of my actions and all I can do is say I am sorry. As I watch the Reunion I look physically exhausted and emotionally drained. My eyes and face were swollen all season from crying every night. So before you want to make fun or say I have had tons of work done (which I have not) consider my pain. Thank you to my fans that stuck with me and lifted me up when you knew I needed it.
I think Shannon is a very sweet lady and I wish her nothing but happiness, I am glad her marriage is back on track and I hope nothing comes between them again.
Vicki has been a friend for many years and although I am very hurt by her actions I am sure I will get over it. Like I have said all season, If Brooks makes her happy then I am happy for her.
Heather was the only one that knew what was going on in my life fully and stood by my side when I even tried to push her away. Both Terry and and Heather are amazing people and I am honored to have them as friends. I do not see a friendship with Lizzie happening in the near future. Her unhealthy obsession and lies about me are rather weird. I would like to address some of the things she has been saying about me.
I read her blogs and I had to laugh at her desire to twist every good thing I have done for her. Every week it is the same thing and all I can say is, as a wife, mother and neighbor of Lizzie's I hope she can let things go. The lies that come out of her mouth are so twisted and down right scary. The truth is I did not know her very well and never said a bad thing about her to anyone. I honestly thought she was a nice person until I witnessed her drunk and talking very crass about my husband because I did not make it to her birthday party.
I apologized for not making it to her birthday party and explained to her that I was really hoping my mom could get off work in time to watch Sophia, but that did not happen. My mom works for a restoration company and she got called to an emergency water leak. I thought we were OK and she understood. We texted the night of her party and joked about the picture that Vicki sent me of her dressed pulled up to her waist. I even gave her a free membership to my studio -- only for her to put me down for given her a gift. BTW Lizzie we try to be as green as possible at CUT Fitness and we do not have membership cards. I texted you your login and showed you our app to schedule classes. Please stop twisting things. When somebody does something nice for you -- you should say thank you!
I was even willing to forgive her for her comment about Eddie because I knew she was drunk. We all had a lot to drink that night. But her inability to apologize or even admit that she said it was mind blowing to me. Five people tell her what she did and she says "I am sorry for what you think I did or I am sorry if you think I was insinuating something." I just don't understand that behavior? I just don't know where I went wrong with her and at this point I really do not care.
Now I'm reading that she invited me to the Kentucky Derby and I made fun of the charity. . . Is she crazy? When she invited me to the Derby it was before she said Eddie wanted to "f--- her." So after lots of thought, we decided that it was best that we did not go. Eddie and I were both concerned that she would have another drunk outburst and put us in another weird situation. When I first got the invite I was very thankful and asked about the charity (I always like to get the full details when I am working with a charity). That is not making fun or putting down, it's being educated on what and who I am supporting. Who in their right mind would put down a charity that is raising money for a cause? Heather and Terry were also invited and backed out last minute. . .but you're OK with that? LOL
Now I am a bully. . .good lord! she is talking about how she was bullied for her big breast and how rude it was of me to make fun of her. Yes, I said that out of anger after what you said about Eddie and I am sorry if it hurt you feelings. But what makes me laugh is that she told me at Shannon's holiday party and admitted to Andy at the Reunion that she has 300CC breast implants. So if you are so self conscious of your big breast and mentally damaged about being bullied why would you make your breast bigger? Another one of her contradictions and cries for attention!
After reading her last few blogs it became very clear to me that she is insanely obsessed with my life. (Obsession: A compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion.)
I have never had another person pay so much attention to my every move and twist every conversation we have ever had to make me look bad. She blogs about me, tweets about me, and goes around the neighborhood talking about me, It is sad. The only thing I can think of is she sees my success and my happy marriage and she's jealous? She told me herself that her marriage has been on the rocks for years and she was very vocal this season that her husband does not satisfy her needs in bed. It really breaks my heart and I would like to tell her that we don't have to be best friends -- but we don't have to be enemies. I was very upset what she did to me in Bali and I had my fair share of bad things to say about Lizzie after that, but I have moved on. If anyone did anything bad it was Lizzie doing something bad to me. I am willing to forgive. Forgiveness is the key to freedom.
But maybe that is something you learn with "old" age? Yes, Lizzie you are right I am old, 47 years old TODAY and so proud of what I have accomplished. I have four amazing kids, granddaughter on the way, married to the man of my dreams, own a business, and I'm in the best shape of my life. Maybe being old isn't that bad after all?
I am happy to say that with the support of my loving husband and saddleback church my life has gotten back on track and I am in a much better place. I do believe that things happen for reason and although I am not proud of how I acted this season, I am proud of my outcome and the way I have grown. God works in mysterious ways! CUT Fitness is doing great and we are considering opening up our second location soon. If you are interested in coming in and trying us out we offer three free classes, just log on to our website and register. If my life wasn't busy enough, I've gotten back into real estate and teamed up with a good friend at Keller Williams. My kids are excited to go back to school this week -- and so is mama. Ryan just found out that he is expecting a baby girl and I can not be any more excited to met her. I do not know what the future holds for me, but I am glad that I have been able to share my ups and downs with you through out the years.
You can always catch up on my life on Instagram at TamraJudge.