Ben: They Don't Need to "Fix" Each Other

Hey Guys,

Today is very special in that I am writing you from the green room of the historic Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, Georgia, where I am preparing to perform a musical tribute for MLK Day celebration. Reflecting on the the struggles of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., I can only imagine what his family went through as they endured the ups and downs that came with the pursuit of peace. I can imagine that many times the civil rights fight was one that was not just fought in the streets but also in the home--with and against family. Speaking of "civil rights," the Tankard clan is engaged in a couple of battles of their own with the three J's (Jewel/Junetta/Junice) attempting to finally make peace and Britney gearing up to declare war on Marcus. Whew, I'm looking forward to the day the Tankard feuds are settled, and I can recite those famous words "Thank God Almighty, we are free at last."

Here are the beats from this week's episode, "Making Amens."

It makes me feel good when I have all my family together at the Tankard Palace for food and fellowship. Riding the bike inside the house much to the dismay of Jewel is a delight for me in our family circus. Loud laughter, and (not so healthy) food is plentiful as we hang out and prepare for Britney's family fitness bootcamp. We are still celebrating Marcus and Tish's pregnancy announcement while Benji and Shanira contemplate house hunting and starting a family...more on that later.

There is something brewing in Britney concerning Marcus, and it stems from something in their childhood. I am very concerned about this in that I love them very much and want them to be happy. During the bootcamp workout, she becomes easily irritated by Marcus' jokes and literally storms out and leaves. Really? What the heck just happened? Did I miss something? Everyone was goofing off, joking, and having a great time...at Britney's expense. She takes her work very seriously, but it still seems like she is super sensitive around Marcus. I pray we can work through this, but I get the feeling it will have to get worse before it can get better. It is refreshing to see Cyrene comforting Britney during emotional moments---I am so happy that that their sisterhood is in tack.

Speaking of sisterhood...I was glad to get the call from Rock to rally the family together for a meeting to hash out the results from the blow up in Baltimore. The family came together for lunch meeting at the Grill and though it went well and ended on a positive note, I still believe the Three J's need to go on a three-day trip alone to Mexico and just spend sisterly time together and re-bond (is that a word?). Sometimes when there are too many cooks in the kitchen, nothing gets done. Likewise, I believe the three sisters need to get away and out of the ear shot of advice yielding husbands, family, advisors, therapists, and good samaritans and just take time to fall in love with each other again. They don't need to "fix" each other, they simply need to share love...love wins every time.

I get it...I understand Junice's pursuit of education and acceptance, and Jewel and Junetta's pursuit of career and success. However, nothing is more important than family. The bible says in Mathew 6:33 to "seek ye first the kingdom of God (and God's way of doing things) and all his righteousness and then all these things shall be added unto you." I believe that part of "seeking the Kingdom" is to fight to get along with family and pursue peace at all cost. Then all the other things, like career, degrees, ect. will be added to you later. Ultimately, you can only change yourself, not others. Prayerfully the sisters realize this sooner than later, because family is everything.

On a more positive note, I could not be more proud of my sons. Marcus and Tish are pregnant and thinking about sticking around at least until the baby comes, and Benji and Shanira are house hunting...how cute. It looks like they have found a nice place that fits their budget, however, I don't know what makes me happier: the thought of Marcus and Tish moving in or the thought of Ben and Shanira moving out. Will Tankard Palace soon be a full nest or an empty nest? The doors to the Tankard Palace are revolving doors...stay tuned to see what happens.

Be Well....