Bryan gives us a judicial take on this week's episode. Court is in session!

Sep 30, 2010

The Judge commented on Nikki's manicure before handing down the guilty verdict. "If you have time to get your nails minxed, you certainly have time to workout!" quipped Judge Hendricks. When Nikki took the stand during the trial, a hush fell over the room. District Attorney Ramani fired question after question ending with "How many cocktails did you have this week? Answer the question." Ms. Wood looked vaguely amused at the accusation and quickly responded, "I actually don't know." That was enough to convince the jury that they had their verdict. Nikki sat in disbelief as she was convicted of perjury and over 22 counts of pickling her liver. Experts are not sure of the psychological damage caused this week with Nikki's stunning two pound weight gain, but believe her sentence may be just the thing she needs. Ms. Wood took a reduced sentence by agreeing to be admitted to MERC in Calabasas. "The Mandy Ellen Recovery Camp is an amazing facility, and is exactly what she needs at this point," said Bedd E. Fohard, a licensed professional. Jackie Warner had this to add, "The number one reason Nikki failed this week is because of the alcohol, period." Ms. Wood has filed a suit against Ms. Warner on several counts including breaking and entering, stalking, loitering, and trespassing. No word if any of these charges will even be permissible in a federal court of law.

Hair stylist Fritz Helmut believed his client, Shay would be found innocent and was outraged that Shay was convicted on several counts of perjury as well as four counts of indecent hair exposure. Shay could not be reached for comment.

Joe was cleared on all counts of perjury but was charged with several other counts including terrorism upon the fashion community, disorderly conduct of whining for one on one time with Jackie Warner and aggressive lack of empathy and compassion towards all women and has been court ordered to undergo intensive sensitivity training.

Mandy, was also cleared of all charges and parties on both sides agreed that somehow this mother of five happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The judge felt that she was a positive role model and Mandy was released back into high society.