What do you get when you take a group of seven fatties and make them go without sugar for two weeks? Total madness. Today at the gym the s*#% hit the fan (Never really understood that expression - why would anyone throw poop at a fan? Unless you have a poo fetish, but even then, it seems incredibly wasteful - not to mention terribly messy). Where was I, oh right - I think the lack of junk food combined with the hard workouts are starting to make everyone go a little bit batty.
It all started when Doc Warner and Nurse Ramsay entered the gym with a prescription for tears and pain. I don't know what happened after I left those two alone at dinner the other night, but now they are completely enraged and taking it out on the group. You see, there are a few of us that are in this program who are giving it our all because we truly want to make a change and are grateful for this experience, but there are others who seem to lack motivation and discipline. Nikki, for example, was extremely late for today's workout because she had "food poisoning" from the night before…which is what happens when you drink an entire bag of fermented potatoes…I mean eat.
Then there is Shay who has been driving down Lazy Lane most of her life and now has somehow managed to take a right turn on Delusional Drive thinking that she is a "DIVA." Seriously? Let me break something down - The word diva is derived from the Italian noun, diva - a female deity. The word entered the English language in the 19th century and is used to describe a woman of outstanding talent in the world of opera, and by extension theatre, cinema, and popular music. Now unless someone knows something I don't, I'm pretty sure that Shay is not planning on dropping a single anytime soon - hence why she cannot be called a diva. Titles have to be earned. You think that Ben Kingsley and Judy Dench just crowned themselves with the titles Sir and Dame, because they just happened to have some free time on a Sunday afternoon in July? No silly, a Queen gave them that title. And I'm here to say, this Queen has no intention of crowning Shay a diva - she needs to give that act a rest.
Hi Bryan. You're my favorite on the show. You seem to work the hardest and without any complaining. I've watched all three episodes already and i'm sick of half of the them already. What I like most about you is that you never seem to give up and you're open and honest about your feelings. You're someone that if I met I think i'd like to be friends with. I'm fat with pretty low self esteem but not to the point where I cry about it just to the point where I want to do something about it. My partner is a runner and I really wish that I could get back to doing that with her. I do have a question for you. How did you find out about the casting for the show? Even though I don't live in LA I'd find some way to get out there if I was selected. I've been following Jackie since she started Workout and Skylab and have always dreamed of working out with her in a group like you are doing right now. Anyway, I don't even know if you'll get this but I just wanted to wish you all the best in your quest for health and happieness. Good luck and kick some butt. Best wishes. Tina
You always crack me up! Thank you for the laughs... I am a singer & have friends who call themselves "Divas" and it's usually just a lame excuse for their huge ego getting out of hand.
Everything you say, whether it's meant as a joke, or from the heart, is incredibly refreshing! All the best to you during this journey and BEYOND!
Bryan, I am a heterosexual female and I am totally in love with you!! You are hilarious and a beautiful person. I would love to have two of you as best friends. Never, ever let anyone make you feel less than the very best, because you are. No matter how much you weigh!!!
Hey Bryan - Wow. Your blog was so insightful. You have such an amazing way of mixing insane humor with actual honest emotion and reflection. I really love reading your blogs and look forward to seeing your progress on the show.
Thanks for fleshing out the dinner with Stacy. I was so uncomfortable watching that segment with the brutality of Nikki and Joe's comments. I'm glad to know there was more joking than tension at that dinner.
I love your point of view and the commitment you bring to Jackie's program. It's obvious you are taking this seriously. And you're hysterical! My husband and I love hearing your comments the most. Can't wait to see the show unfold. I hope you're learning to love that little cutie with the wig inside you.
Seriously long dude. Just playing. Great writing technique, I've enjoyed your blog so far. Keep up the good work!
Bryan, you crack me up! Thanks for being so refreshingly hilarious! Can't wait to see where you are at the end of the show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just want to say that I'm so inspired by this show, but especially by your honesty and readiness to do the work. You don't always make the highest 'score' on the workouts, but you never give up.
Also, thanks for being funny! You and Nikki make me laugh out loud watching this show all alone on my couch.
I'm new to working out hardcore and trying to eat 'clean' and watching you confess that you ate two cookies and then work them off was surprising on a reality show. No drama, just the work.
Keep it up. I can't wait to see how great you look when this is done!
Good luck with your weight loss efforts. I work out with a trainer myself and know personally that challenges that are faced on a daily basis as weight has always been an issue for me. Your are also extremely funny and entertaining to watch every week!
Best wishes! Melissa
It looks like you are the only one losing weight. You definitely have the best attitude on the show! Don't let the others bring you down!
You are hands down the stand out of this show and the #1 reason why I am watching! You enthusiasm is contagious..so much so, that I actually did a combination of squats, crunches, and jogging in place while watching Episode 1. You are so quick witted and fun to watch..I just want to hang out with you and not eat cookies together! Okay, I'll still want to eat cookies, but won't out of respect to the 2 that lost their lives as you went up and down your stairs burning off the 140 calories that they would have added to your weigh in. I can't wait to see how much weight you have lost by the end of this process and wish you all good things to come long after this show is over. Keep kicking butt all over the place!
Bryan, your blog is hillarious and inspiring. I love that you are continuing to stay true to yourself and true to the program's goal. My friends and I root for you every week!
Bryan...I love watching the show because of you! You add wit, humor and substance to the cast. I can't wait to hear what comment you come up with next. Also, your journey seems the most real and for those of us out in TV land, the one we can identify with the best. Not like that drunk lady who smokes all day and doesn't ever have to work!!! I wish this show would last all year! I will be so sad when it ends. Keep up the great work. You inspire me! Jerilynn
I tuned into this show while channel surfing and now can't get enough. You are so adorable, honest, and funny. Love, love, love you and the show. Keep up the good work. I'm sure Miguel will be really pleased with the results too.
Bryan, I am completely behind you and I know you will come out of this a slimmer and oh so HOT man. You are a truly amazing person inside and out...Keep up the good work !!!!!!!! Love you , Miss you tell Miguel Hi for me jeannette baril from Dallas
Keep up the great work!
You are clearly the most determined and capable contestant in this competition.
1) great show, but needed way more of you in it! 2) this blog rocks 3) Shelly Winters had the best scene in that whole movie ;)
can't wait for next week!
Bryan, you bring candor and humor to the show! My husband and I watch every week for your comments alone.....and to catch up on the rest of the show and stuff...but seriously, you bring weight loss to a whole different level- REAL! Also enjoy reading good writing...keep up the blogs. Can't wait to see what next week brings!
AMEN MISTER SISTER!!!
That was not too long, I could have read another 7 pages. You are hilarious and refreshing.
I too am going on a personal growth/healing journey. Unfortunately, it requires that dreaded junk drawer, box in the back of the closet, cleanse and purge. Introspection and reliving childhood "unpleasantries" (mild) is never easy but critical to the process. You are so dedicated and driven, you never complain or whine...a true inspiration.
You appear to be happy in every other area in your life, i.e. your handsome mate, that this seems to be the last piece of your "healing" puzzle which you are methodically, and carefully, placing.
I like how you put it to Shay, I'm sure she's not a bad person, but she obvi needed a reality check. As for your humor with Stacie, you provide a much appreciated and lighthearted comic relief...keep it up ;)
I look forward to this show every week because of you, Bryan. You make me laugh, and the things you say really do hit home. I don't care for reality shows, but you are making me change my mind.
I'm so glad from looking at these posts that people find you to be the most real on the show because you are! What people see and hear is the real deal ... the genuine Bryan that I know and love! You continue to be an inspiration to me. I joined the YMCA this week (also, they were having a pay-the-day special, so I joined for $20 instead of $75). And ... my clothes are in the car. I'm headed to the indoor track after work today to begin moving. Baby steps, baby. Baby steps.
Funny, Sincere, Adorable, and Honest.
Loved reading your blog and enjoy watching your journey every week. Can't wait for more.
You are so my favorite,all the other peeps on the show complain way too much! Wold be so much better if this was all about you....sorry but true! big fan X
Bran you are the best! I love watching you on this show. You take all of the tasks seriously and give everything your all. And you do it all with an incredible sense of humor and charm. Cant wait for next weeks episode to see how you kick everyone else's butts again! Keep up the great work and positive attitude!
My wife and I ended up watching the show by default, she's a huge 'Real??? Housewives' fan. I have to say, I though this was going to be another Bravo show she was going to make me suffer through. I was wrong! I've been D.V.R.ing it, Monday night football, and can't wait to see the end results. Oh, and every time by wife sees me eating a cookie she shouts, "COOKIES ARE PAIN!!" I'm fine with that, but if the cookies switches to beer, then we have a problem.
Your funny and motivating, good luck!!
Bryan! We love watching you every week and can't wait to see more of your journey! Don't let the others bring you down and make you bitter schmitter. Keep up the good work :-)
Bryan, Dude you're awesome! You & Joe are both inspiring me with your hardwork. I'm hitting the gym more often, trying to eat right, and even bought Jackie's book. I hope to see your breakthough in therapy. This show is great. I never have thought about my bodyh the Jackie put it -- about loving yourself enough to workout and eat right. I think its a good place to start. I look forward to each episode. Keep the good stuff coming. I'm cheering for all on the show that understand that this is a true live changing opportunity.