What do you get when you take a group of seven fatties and make them go without sugar for two weeks? Total madness. Today at the gym the s*#% hit the fan (Never really understood that expression - why would anyone throw poop at a fan? Unless you have a poo fetish, but even then, it seems incredibly wasteful - not to mention terribly messy). Where was I, oh right - I think the lack of junk food combined with the hard workouts are starting to make everyone go a little bit batty.
It all started when Doc Warner and Nurse Ramsay entered the gym with a prescription for tears and pain. I don't know what happened after I left those two alone at dinner the other night, but now they are completely enraged and taking it out on the group. You see, there are a few of us that are in this program who are giving it our all because we truly want to make a change and are grateful for this experience, but there are others who seem to lack motivation and discipline. Nikki, for example, was extremely late for today's workout because she had "food poisoning" from the night before…which is what happens when you drink an entire bag of fermented potatoes…I mean eat.
Then there is Shay who has been driving down Lazy Lane most of her life and now has somehow managed to take a right turn on Delusional Drive thinking that she is a "DIVA." Seriously? Let me break something down - The word diva is derived from the Italian noun, diva - a female deity. The word entered the English language in the 19th century and is used to describe a woman of outstanding talent in the world of opera, and by extension theatre, cinema, and popular music. Now unless someone knows something I don't, I'm pretty sure that Shay is not planning on dropping a single anytime soon - hence why she cannot be called a diva. Titles have to be earned. You think that Ben Kingsley and Judy Dench just crowned themselves with the titles Sir and Dame, because they just happened to have some free time on a Sunday afternoon in July? No silly, a Queen gave them that title. And I'm here to say, this Queen has no intention of crowning Shay a diva - she needs to give that act a rest.