Sweet Jesus, what have I gotten myself into? And by sweet, I mean with lots of sugar…or a sugar substitute to appease “she who has bigger balls then me” Warner. Walking into the gym and meeting everyone was a little terrifying. I had no idea what to expect or what I had gotten myself into. It felt like a bad dream. Surrounded by sweaty overweight women in workout attire… oh and then there’s Joe, sporting a headband like the Karate Kid. Now forgive me, and perhaps I missed the memo, but are headbands back and if so why? This is NOT the 80’s and Olivia Newton John is nowhere to be found. Seriously, that is an unfortunate look. I wanted to say to him, “Being overweight has nothing to do with you not getting laid, Joe, there are soooooooo many other reasons.”
Anyho, during the workout Jackie decided to make the announcement to the rest of the stable that I had the most weight to lose. Nothing says, “I love you” and “Welcome to my Hell” like a ripped lesbian stating the obvious. However, I like to look at the glass as half full (most likely because Nikki drank the other half), and I thought I’d spin her comment into a positive. “You see Jackie, if we were all on a plane, and that plane were to go down in the mountains, and we all survived I would be the most popular and sought after. So being this fat does have its advantages.”
Well we wasted NO time at getting down to business. Call me crazy, but in my head I had fantasized that we would all come in, talk about who we are and how we got so fat, share a few tears, maybe a doughnut, then simply discuss the benefits of exercise. I didn’t think we would actually workout on the first day. Oh, perchance to dream, you chubby little queer. Ten minutes after my arrival, I was covered in sweat. There was a part of me that was hoping and praying that the stationary bike would come loose and that I could pedal my way right outta the gym and straight to a nearby ice cream truck. Instead I nearly died. How did I get so fat and out of control? I PRAY to god that this is going to get better and easier. I know the next few days are going to be brutally painful, but thank goodness for ibuprofen and ice packs.
I want one of those calorie counter watches that Jackie made you wear after you ate the cookies.......what was it?
Bryan...you crack me up! Loved the Oreo fiasco...brutal. Deny, deny, deny! :) Loved when you said, "...I'm not going to tell Jackie she looks pretty, even if she does." Tragedy plus time = comedy. Love the attitude! Cheering you on!
I've been waiting since 11pm last Monday for this week's episode - and it's already great! You and Miguel are a really sweet couple!
So, tomorrow I totally think I'm going to run up and down the stairs with a sugar cookie in my hand. Maybe that will help retrain my brain and I'll be more tempted to reach for an orange instead of a cookie the next time I feel like munching on something.
Did you say it took 50 runs to burn off those calories?
I can't wait to see the next episode! Even though I've watched a lot of weight loss shows before, this one has REALLY inspired me to try to shave off the extra pounds I've gained over the last few years, so cheers!!!!
Hi Bryan! I started my weight loss journey earlier this summer, but have had some personal setbacks. Thankfully I haven't stopped working out, but my nutrition leaves a lot to be desired. Personal setbacks have been resolved and now I'm getting my eating under control! Thankfully I can watch along with you on your journey as well! As a gay man living in Dallas, TX, being a "chubby little queer" has a lot of disadvantages, first and foremost my HEALTH! I'm SO looking forward to watching your journey bud!
Bryan......LOVE THE SHOW, LOVE YOU.....don't worry not a stalker here....I see so much of myself in you and the things you say.....I feel as if I am on the show too via you...you make us "chubby little queers" very proud! I think it's great that you are doing something to take care of you and hoping that it will rub off on me so that I can do the same thing. Keep up the great job that you are doing and know that there are MANY people out here routing for ya!!!
@Aaron- Thank you for your kind comments...and the first step IS the hardest but the best gift you can give yourself. Trust me:) In the meantime, don't pay attention to Nikki-plenty of people LOVE to hang out with "chubby little queers"!! keep on watching and plugging away....xoxoxo Bryan
@ ChefLizzy- Thanks for laughing and your sweet (no pun intended) comment. . Did you say pastry chef? Oy! If only I were straight, we'd be married...but then you wouldn't be able to bake sweets anymore so then we would probably get divorced and be right back where we started:) So- there goes that dream:( But I admire you for your patience and dedication to baking and keep on laughing. Best way to get through life....xoxoxo Bryan
Tina- A plane full of rugby players? Sign me up...and don't worry I'll totally pay for my ticket:) Thanks for watching and for being a fan of the show:) xoxo Bryan
Thank you Susan Brady:) I am thrilled you like the show and clearly I am now heading to the Jersey Shore to get my very own headband. Thanks for the tip:) I wish I had a white glove on my hand so i could tip you a dollar for that brilliant advice:) xoxoxo Bryan
TV Junkie- I am only playing with Joe....He's a good guy...but seriously, headbands? I'm not playing about those...:) xoxo Bryan
Hooray! I love New Haven and glad to have some fans:) Keep watching...It gets funnier and more inspiring:) With Gratitude- Bryan
Bryan - as a fellow cookie lover, I was hooked when you ran the stairs to work off those two cookies. I'll never forget the impact two cookies can have. Good luck to you and thanks for the lesson. I'm cheering you on!
OMG - fun to watch and even funnier to read! Good luck Bryan, you've got a household in New Haven, CT rooting for you!!
You are too funny! Thanks for blogging about your experience. I'm looking forward to reading more and watching you on TV.
I enjoyed your blog Bryan. You are too funny! Looking forward to reading more and watching you on TV.
Hang in there. You can do it, although until then DO not take any free airplane rides with rugby players.
Grins and Success to you.
In my experience, the lesbians always seem to have a penchant for stating the obvious, ripped or not! God bless you for being on the receiving end of that!As for the headband, perhaps he got it at the Jersey Shore. You totally make the show and I can't wait to see what happens next!
You have an amusing and entertaining outlook on life and others. Love your humor.
Can't wait for the next episode(s).
Keep up the weight loss!
Bethany love your show. Now that you're finally married and a mommy I hope we continue to see more of you and your family,
Bethany being Mommy perhaps?
I like your style, kid. You state the obvious in great humor. Best calories burned are the ones burned by laughter. I hope to lose 50 pounds right along with you. Keep it up. I'm rootin' for you, and clearing my house of sugar this weekend. After I ganache the cake I just baked. Did I mention I am a pastry chef?
I enjoyed seeing you on the show. Your sense of humor had me smiling and I'm excited to see your progress. I'm also a gay male, and I'm slowly gaining more weight and eating wrong all the time. Maybe this will kick start me into actually working out. It's always taking that first step, glad to have some inspiration.