Gaining weight is a team sport. For most people struggling with weight loss – you didn’t get here alone, and you aren’t going to get out of here alone.
This week on THINtervention, we learned that despite the snarky remarks and their outright antipathy for each other – that there was real power in coming together and holding each other accountable. If you want to drop the pounds, then you might need to work with other people. Yes, at the end of the day, we are responsible for every pound since we ate the food, but we don’t become us in a vacuum.
Sometimes motivators may come in the most unlikely packages, and our underminers may look just like us. Despite their nasty remarks about each other, Nikki and Joe were actually able to get up that hill together; Bryan and Kim found a collective sweet spot in their competitive natures. Ironically – the “well-matched” duos in terms of age, economic status and lifestyle – Jeana and Mandy as well as Shea and Stacy – didn’t get as much out of their matches. Shea and Stacy were locked in an enabling space of insufficient effort. During their time together, Mandy reflected on her health and her children, while Jeana reflected on the martial artist’s loveliness and a future of sexy bikinis. Finding a workout partner who is “off-type” may push us in unexpected directions. Now, our group faces new collective challenges, Kim will no longer be with us, and everyone will now come together in a different way.
The darkest side of how others shape our present selves was revealed in the courageous disclosures of Nikki and Bryan during our session this week. Our 2 resident humorists exposed childhoods impacted by notable betrayal and loss, and their humor has been a successful tool for keeping the hurts of the past at bay. We learn how to treat ourselves by watching how others treat us. When trauma and betrayal characterize development, self-abuse in a variety of ways including food or alcohol can frequently follow. Despite the past, now is the time for all of them to learn how to treat themselves and hopefully each other, respectfully.
When I first met my acupuncturist, one of the first things he asked me is "what would you like me to call you?" "Ruthie," I replied. He then said "well, Ruthie, please call me Paul."
It's an elegance that few doctors understand. Why are you Dr. while you call all the others on the show by their first names? Your first name is not even in your bio. Are you doctors so insecure that if you level the field you will lose the awe we (used to) have for you? I would respect you so much more if you didn't insist on this wall between you and everyone else.
I think the most important thing for the team to understand is that they need to focus on the here and now, and that they are the only ones that can take that step to dedicate to their own change, from the inside first. Positive support and re-inforcement from those around when you feel confident about yourself, so yes, the therapy is very important as each one learns to develop a sense of what triggers their depression/habits. Good luck to all, and keep working hard!!!!!!!!!!!
My ideal weight is 110#. I weigh close to 200# and I'm only 5' tall! Stress and family issues are my biggest factors. I've gained all of this weight just over the last 2 years. I hate my body, which only makes me more depressed, so I eat more. I used to be this outgoing, fun, lively person. I want to be the woman my husband (who is 6 years my junior) fell in love with. I've lost her and we miss her!
How do I audition to become Jackie's next success story?
Love what you are doing with Bryan. He really needed you. He comes across as a really genuine, down to Earth guy that just needs some help dealing with his past. Hope to see more of your time together.
I appreciate your advice. You are spot on, and I think working out with someone different will really improve my results. I do need someone to press me to do more, not someone to make excuses for me. Thanks!
You are spot on. I have managed to find several people to undermine my attempts to develop healthy habits, and they are usually well meaning friends and family. Food is such a tradition in our family, but as we all develop weight and health issues, it is time to change our traditions, and that is not a popular idea.
Finally someone who is legitimate and real psychologist who can deal with real life issues and emotional struggles that everyone has one way or the other behind their weight gain. I hate watching those weight loss shows that only focus on "eat this eat that", and "do this work out and that work out." Those only work for those who are on the show, while they are on the show. Addressing the emotional pain along with learning about the nutrition and exercise seems more realistic and sustainable. I do like Jilian from the Biggest Loser, she can be a great motivator, but she's no psychologist.
I thought our comments were cheeky! Anyone who thinks not making it up that hill with or without Nikki was an option, has as much to learn about me this season as I did....
I think you are a great therapist! You really have a calm demeanor that seems to make them feel like nothing they say will surprise, shock or upset you. I think that it's really important that they feel like you handle what they tell you and you'll still look at them the same way you did before they tell you. Great job!