We are off to Whole Foods and only for Kerry, while Chris has decided to shop at the local butcher, Whole Foods and 99 Ranch, all of which have their own Yelp reviews if you care to whittle away a day reading the opines of people who claim to know a lot about butcher shops, organic food stores, and Asian grocers.

Kerry can’t find a lobster for his Korean stew. He’s going the crab and spot prawn route. Other than that he is focused on getting this all in the paper bags so he can get his prep on. At the cash register he is flummoxed by going over budget by a tiny amount. Smart Kerry grabs a prawn that costs .61 from the bag and is right on the money. You will notice that he just puts that prawn back in his pocket though and was later arrested by the Whole Foods security team. “Sir, SIR. Is that a prawn in your pocket?”

As a small independent butcher I would revel in the opportunity to serve Chris Cosentino. Giving him $600 to shop for piles of muscles and guts is like giving a nine-year old boy ten rolls of quarters at Chuck E. Cheese. Chris is taking much more time in this shopping excursion than Kerry but he’s proving pretty successful in his purchases of blood, foie, and unicorn tears. Remember, purveying is the first key to good cookin’.

Cosentino is still Euro shopping for a new apron and some rare Iguana esophagus, filling up that Lexus RX, the prescribed vehicle for chefs of a certain affluence. I drive a diesel Jetta but the pops-in-law used to have an RX for a whip and they are pretty sweet. But that automatic trunk door is just one more “convenience item” to make America lazy. Eventually Darwinism happens and our arms become just button pokers. Do not let this happen America. Not on my watch. That said, LEXUS GIVE ME A CAR.

Kerry is still working on his letters, which keep coming out as Dear Johns, confusing even Kerry. He doesn’t even know what he’s walking out on. Chris, being the more emotive soul in this gastro-joust, is much more nimble when it comes to expressing his feelings. Kerry keeps it all locked up. Express yourself Kerry, let go.