Hugh Acheson

Hugh Acheson will not be showing this episode to his children.

on Aug 29, 2012

Art had a dream about chocolate and thinks this a breakthrough to understanding his psyche. 

They have to turn on Dita Von Teese with food. I recommend some citrus and a six pack of beer, cause girl looks like she may have scurvy. Don’t get me wrong: she’s plenty sexy, but just a little pale. Couple of Flintstone vitamins will clear that right up. Then we can go shopping for vintage bondage outfits together. 

Lorena is making sexy tuna with alligator pears (avocados). If you are replicating Lorena’s dish think domestic: buy the California avocados. You know that avocadoes have a lot of potassium? This is all in my brain because last week the news was all a-buzz about potassium cutting rates of strokes and heart disease. It’s food trivia day at Hugh’s blog!

Chris is being kind of selective with whom he’s going to turn on with his food, and it’s not going to be Alicia Silverstone, the hottest vegan ever. 

So this is what they have made: 

Art has gone crazy and has dreamed that he is a turn-of-the-last-century French pastry chef with Ile Flottante. I wish Art had called it Islands in the Stream of Chocolate, as an ode to his Southern roots. He is still all strident from his speedo moment at the pool last week. Dita and Curtis enjoy their Islands but then Dita drops the, “I’m not really a chocolate person” line, and Art’s ego gets deflated. We need an ego fluffer, stat!

Lorena says, “I always bring sexy” with her tuna telitas. They look good, but the beauty shot comes up with that big pithy lemon next to it. Garnish is important, people. Dita loves cilantro but does not think this is sexy in the least. She likes it, but is just not turned on by it.