Hugh Acheson

Hugh Acheson will miss Neal's wit.

on Sep 4, 2013

Jenn came out on top in the Sue vs. Jenn Battle of the Sous Chefs. This means that Sue is now trying to burning down my restaurants, if she is brave enough to follow through on her pyro threats. I have cameras Sue. 

We have the actress Ali Larter in the house. Evidently she is a foodie. I Google her and the term foodie. Both confound me. Curtis rolls on up with a joke, and not just any joke, the worst joke ever. I mean my 9 yr old would be apologizing if she said this one. 

“What kind of cheese is not your cheese?”

NACHO CHEESE!”

I put him in time-out. 

The QuickFire is a quest to make an elevated nacho experience. They frenetically run around like chickens with heads dangling. The stoic David Burke cuts off a fingernail, which makes me cringe. He then puts up the strangest dish in his entire career and knows one thing for sure: he ain’t winning this race. Calamari and spray cheese nachos look like a train wreck. He is asked whether he is out of his comfort zone, and his reaction tells a long story, “Errr… uuummph.” Translation is “Yes, this is not my happy place.”

Neal presents his “skidmark.” If I hear that one more time this season I am going to change occupations and become a dental hygienist. Neal has made a flauta thang. They seem to find it fine. 

Douglas, who hates nachos, has made the anti nacho with a salsa consommé. 

They like it. It has a shrimp and guac and stuff. It looks pretty good. 

Jennifer made a soylent green ring. The reaction is basic. 

Sang made powdered cheese. The reaction is more basic, even though he says that nachos are second nature to him. It is second nature to me to make jokes about mimes, and trust me, it is neither funny nor good. 

Bryan made something that doesn’t look anything like nachos. It is tomatillo-based, and he thinks he has a winner on his hands. 

“All the chips on the table.” Curtis continues the puns. The downs are David, who thoroughly agrees with the assessment and wants to move on, and also Sang, who is more surprised because nachos are second nature to him. 

The kudos go to Bryan and Douglas, with Douglas winning more kibble money and Bryan complaining again about having a curse of no immunity. 

The Elimination Challenge is teams of two. Hot and Cold seafood preparation. Duke’s of Malibu. $250 and 30 minutes to shop, but the fish won’t be known until tomorrow when the catch of the day is dropped off. Doug is becoming a kombu salesman. He and Jenn are already showing some signs of strain in their relationship. Neal and David are a Jedi/Jedi trainee type thing. Though not on the same team, Douglas and Sang love to hang out and act like 14-year-old boys. Sang and Bryan are planning smoke and BBQ. For that they need wood chips, but the Whole Foods vitamin aisle guy is perplexed. How many chips would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?