Hugh Acheson

Hugh Acheson comments on the mayhem that is creating a restaurant in a day.

on Aug 21, 2013

Lynn wants to keep this simple, while Bryan wants to make banana crème anglaise domes, and put Lynn in the dome where she will have fight a three-legged moose wearing armor (the moose will wear the armor; Lynn will wear a chef coat). 

Jennifer likes to talk on the phone. A lot. I abhor talking on the phone. I also abhor texting. Emails. I like emails. 

The winners from Battle of the Sous Chefs come in to help Team Red. This should be a huge advantage. Or not. Who knows. Actually, I know.  

Busy and Leisure Suit Curtis come to the kitchen to check on the chefs. Things happen, and then the waiters arrive to check in and get this restaurant all set up. 

Sang: “I don’t like any sentence that begins with, “I think…” This does bring up the importance of communication in a restaurant: keep it short and to the point. At my places, I hate it when people start a question off with, “Can I ask you a question?” MY JOB IS TO ANSWER QUESTIONS. If I tally up that wasted time in my life, I should have an extra night of sleep at the end of my existence. And I want that sleep. That said, Sang is going rogue Alpha dog and is getting really bitchy with everyone. Please don’t fire the fake waiters, Sang. 

Artisan is not getting a Michelin star from the Michelin inspector, who has just blown his cover. Meanwhile Bryan has this nervous laugh that is hilarious whenever he has to deal with Jennifer. David Burke is a flirtatious winner on the floor. Killin’ it.

Here’s the food, with comments:

Team Red

Jennifer: Cauliflower-Tahini Soup. Deemed too thick and too tahini-y. Something about hair or pear. No love. 

Jennifer: Citrus Salad with Avocado, Chevre, Endive, Radicchio, and Orange Vinaigrette. Good but busy. 

Bryan: Cobb Salad Inspired Salmon with Dehydrated Bacon and Horseradish Snow. A thing of utter beauty. 

Neal: New York Strip Steak with Cavolo Nero and Twice Baked Fingerling Potatoes. Ho-hum. 

Lynn: Chocolate Brownie Sundae with Roasted Banana Ice Cream and Peanut Caramel Sauce. Joltingly sweet. 

Neal: California Olive Oil Cake with Mascarpone Ice Cream. Ho-hum de dum. 


Team Blue

Douglas: Barely Cooked Salmon with Ginger Shiso, Dashi Gelee, and Salmon Caviar. Brilliant. 

Sue: Quinoa, Arugula, and Feta Salad with Radishes, Mint, and Lemon Vinaigrette. Though Dana proclaims 2013 Year of the Quinoa, this rendition fails to wow. It’s more woe than wow. 

David and Douglas: Snapper with Sweet Corn Puree, Garlic Chorizo, and Roasted Tomato Vinaigrette. Doug & Dave co-production that is pretty great, but Gail wants to be nuzzled by green onion. She’s pregnant now, though, and has just eaten 10 pounds of black licorice with a side of bananas and anchovies. 

Sang: Strip Loin with Broccoli Two Ways, Puffed Tendon, and Black Been Ghee. The sauce is wicked good. Sang, through all his madness, has succeeded. 

David: Tangerine and Spiced Honey Panna Cotta with Strawberry Champagne Gelee. They love. Everyone loves it, except Curtis, the Oracle of Gastronomy, says that things are not good when you get sick of them. Duh. 

Sue: Chocolate Malt Semifreddo with Fudge, Marshmallow, and Graham Crackers. Loved by Busy. Stay away from quinoa, Sue, and stick with the classic sweets.