Apparently the Dairy Industry Is Suffering — So it Came Up With Pink, Sparkly Milk in Desperation

So gross — or party time, heeeeey!?

Why would you ever drink boring white milk — approximating how it came out of a cow — when you could drink fizzy, sparkly milk that looks like it was bedazzled by a paint-huffing unicorn? It’s crazy, right?

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Pictured here: mediocrity.

Luckily your days of only having the option to drink white milk from dairy cows (ugh, how pedestrian) may soon be coming an end — thanks to a British dairy group that has big, big plans for your favorite cookie-dunking beverage.

The Telegraph reports that Arla, a milk company owned by some 12,500 farmers, is hard at work producing a “sparkling fruit and milk” drink that will roll out to customers in the U.K., Singapore and the U.A.E. sometime in the near future. Assuming the carbonated fruity milk drink is a hit, the group has plans to spread the glittery dairy product to other parts of the world including, presumably, right here in America. (That didn’t work out so well when Coca-Cola tried it in 2009, by the way.)

The move comes as sales of dairy milk continue to plummet, thanks to the rise in popularity of dairy-milk alternatives like soy and almond milks.

But Arla, not content to let the trends of dairy consumption hamper their future, announced last year they planned to triple the amount of money they make from milk drinks by the year 2020, thanks in part to innovations like this one. Arla’s overarching plan is to try to convince consumers to switch from unhealthy soft drinks to healthier milk-based drinks.

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Chin up, Bessie.

The exact details of the drink are still unknown, but according to GrubHub, we do expect it will be “some carbonated combination of a milk by-product with no fat and fruit that won’t curdle when they’re mixed together.”

Intriguing. Alas, until the product goes on sale, you’ll just have to settle for regular old milk. How lame.

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