I love Stefan!!!!!!!!!! I'm sooooooooo sad he lost....he was totally JIPPED!

Rather amusing idea

I think the Euro aspect is very true. European men are more confident in their sexuality and therefore are not afraid to hug and kiss each other because it is unthinkable that they would be gay. They also pay more attention to their appearance. I believe however that men just adore each other and merely put up with women.

I believe what's not considered here is that Fabio and Stefan are both European. In other cultures, it is customary to be more affectionate with one another and it does not hold any social awkwardness or stigma. I'm Asian and it's very common in our culture, to kiss, lock arms and hold hands with our sisters, moms, etc.

Sorry, but this is not the world we live in. Two men in a committed loving relationship are still the oddity in our culture, and still the victims of bigotry and hatred. Your blog on this topic is well intentioned, but clearly the product of someone screaming "I'm straight!" and that's the issue. If you can't be affectionate with another man without first defining for the rest of the world that you are straight, then there is no real gain in thinking. I had very mixed feelings about you on Top Chef. I think your analogies sometime (like the unprotected sex comment) were just plain weird and strange, and I never got the feeling that you were as educated about food as the other judges, but relied more on such witty comments to get your points across. I don't know. You did seem to be fair. I just had trouble listening to you talk.

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Yes that's all well and good... but have they picked the contestants for season 6 yet? the deadline was almost three weeks ago!

I think, Toby, that straight men thanking Harvey Milk for liberating them is a lovely thought. However, the fact that you feel the need to describe Fabio and Stefan as "red-blooded heterosexuals"--even if your tongue were firmly in cheek--suggests a lingering heterosexism, if not homophobia, in our culture. Straight boys can smooch *because* they're straight. (compare the butt-slapping of football players: it's only OK because we all "know" they're "red-blooded heterosexuals"). If it were OK to be gay, they wouldn't need to clarify their orientations, would they? Nor, indeed, would you have to pat them on the back for their bromancing friendship. Straight men's ability to be physically affectionate in public depends on the assertion that they aren't gay; this means that they need to have "gay" as a foil to set their behavior against. Some people clearly did think Fabio and Stefan were gay, so they had to clarify that they weren't. Gay men always lose in this equation, I'm afraid: they're the "perversity" against which this "normal" behavior is always measured . But I agree: it is also the gains gay men have made that have opened up the range of expression for men.

Not to get too off-topic--but you started it. I enjoyed our bromancers for their great entertainment value (gay or not!).

Interesting take on horse-play, I think it is quite the opposite though, that behaviour can easily become salacious gossip fodder in social circles even-though it is more often an indicator that nothing is going on behind the scenes as it were. Maybe it always could be good gossip fodder but, it seems more prevalent now-a-days. I must hear 2 or 3 rumours a day about someone being gay, or a closet case. I blame the fact that so many people place a ridiculous importance on defining sexuality and pride parades seem to tow the line in that direction. Unless you want to sleep with the person why should it matter? It matters because it can be just another way of putting someone down, failing that I suppose it's just a tool to fight the insipidity of life. As a remnant from sociology class, apparently everyone is bi-sexual of varying degrees anyway.

The question that I wonder though is not related. Having read some of your reviews and seen you Top Chef, it seems that you have a discerning palate. The questions is what do you eat when you're not eating out, or do you only eat out? The rest of us seem content to satiate our hungry with tortilla chip crumbs at times but somehow I can't imagine you doing the same.

Toby, I have to admit, some of your wit didn't go over well with me during the course of the show. But by the time the show went into the finale, you seemed like the only one who didn't judge with a bias or an agenda in mind. Watching you and Stefan seemed like good fun on the reunion and I'd be willing to bet that having drinks with both of you would be great time because neither of you seem full of yourselves. All the best!

Toby,
I disagree with your blog. Maybe in mainstreem on-air culture homosexuality is not taboo anymore, but there is still a mojority of people who discriminate against homosexuals, especially straight males. Most college aged straigt males still throw around the biggot slurs that prove they are close minded. If our culture truly was over the homosexual culture, then it would not be brought up or blogged about either, it just goes to show that we still have a long way to go.

You did a great job this season, and added some real integrity to the judging.

Seeing Fabio kiss Stephan's forehead reminded me of a French soccer defender Laurent Blanc kissing the bold forehead of the goalkeeper Fabien Barthes before each French team game, for good luck. I think that's the European thing, I don't think there are many gay soccer payers anyway. I always thought that was cute. I do appreciate Toby's view on the issue. American boys should ease up on their inhibitions (and Toby should stick around as a Top Chef judge).
Also, many people have said that they didn't like TC Season 5, but I really liked the energy among the contestants (or cheftestants, whatever:). It was positive, they all had fun and liked each other, which is a good thing in a reality show (even the whiny Hosea liked Stephan, I think...)
Not happy about robbing Stephan of the title though, but he'll be fine regardless.

Hey Toby, just wanted to say I LOVE YOU. I think you are the most un-biased judge on there and I love your accent. Hope you stick around. Can I also say real quick that its crazy that the other chef contestant did not raise their hand for Stefan as fan favorite (they just didnt like him). I think he is just great, let him know that some of us Americans are not turned off by a little confidence.

A good blog entry. Thanks for adding your wit to this season, and for giving Tom some push-back.

Toby I really hope you come back next season, we need someone who is unbiased and honest like you! I didn't know what to make of you on your first episode, but as we got to see more of "you" I really like your style. I hope perhaps you can give some suggestions of a finale challenge that is more equal and fair to the final contestents. Too much opportunity for past TC contestents to influence the final dish--I think it should be the chefs own all the way without help from anyone else.

when and why did Top CHEF become so much about sex?
what happened to the food?
way to jack up a good show Bravo
might as well watch MTV

Top Judge? Toby Young.

Um... do we really need a term such as bromance? or Euromance? It's called friendship. Americans need to get over themselves about their hang ups.

Entertaining blog, Toby. Never thought of it that way, that straight men owe Harvey Milk. Food for thought...

I agreed with Stefan that 2nd place was even better for him, which was mocked by Tom on the air. Reason being that fans really rallied around him after the injustice of not winning in a way I don't think they would have if he had won. Still believe he was robbed, but am learning to let go. : )

Love you, Stefan! My grandmother had the Galloping Gourmet and I have you. Would love to see a Food network show with Fabio and Stefan traveling the world of cuisine.

Thanks for the thoughtful blog, Toby.

Very well done, Toby!!

Dear Toby,

Don't listen to the haters who put you down and attempt to discredit you! Or, conversely, listen to them and turn it into another book. After a somewhat iffy start, you definitely turned out to be a voice of reason on the show. You say what you think, are not afraid to stand up to differing opinions, and are a valuable asset. I have no doubt that there are strong opinions and personalities on the judging panel, and I applaud you for not fearing backlash and stating your honest views. I truly hope that you come back next season.

Best wishes for you and your family,

Dee

Stefan and Fabion did not show this "affection" because of anything the gays have done, it is simply the way of European and Middle Eastern men. They normally show lots of what we wuold call affection, but they would call friendship.

Thank you for a great blog Toby and to all yes fabio and all of us on TC are friends. We are fun and happy together. And to me and fabio i love the guy but far from beeing gay LOL.

www.cockychefclothing.com

Thanks to all and happy TC 6

Stefan

Hi Toby,
I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed seeing you on this season of Top Chef. I know a lot of people were hard on you and were vocal about disliking you but I thought you were a riot. Maybe a little over the top sometimes but usually true. And I also liked seeing someone challange Tom at the judging table...I've always felt like whatever Tom said Gail and Padma just agreed with. Hope to see more of you next season!

I apologize. I did not see the episode with the Team Rainbow. I started watching about 1/3rd of the way through eliminations.

Homephobic? I have been a male date to several lesbians for office parties and such.

It just surprised me as to the amount of focus on it in the reunion show.

To "Scharabo".. I hardly think Fabio and Stefan are gay/"a couple". Read the article/comments.. It is just more acceptable for Europeans to hug/embrace than with American men..and, he is trying to say that it is becoming more acceptable to show friendship/affection from man to man in the USA since the gay liberation. Ti doesn't mean that Fabio and Stefan are gay.. Fabio is happily married and Stefan is, obviously, attracted to women...had been married a couple of times, and, ha-ha...even tries to "convert" gay women with his "kiss"!! European men just seem to be more affectionate/huggy, and in Stefan's case, maybe, likes the challenge of thinking he's sexy enough to "convert" women who aren't into men? Anyway, it's funny.. an d Stefan does have a great sense of humor/self, that makes him more endearing than the arrogance they portrayed him as having, in the kitchen. He's actually funny/has a good/odd sense of humor and seems to be a "fun"/interesting guy that one would like to befriend/invite to a party!!

Thank you for your addendum to this season. The observations made here are very interesting. I am an American female who has noticed (since my teens) that American boys / men had a huge problem with being more affectionate toward each other. They seemed very homophobic. They seemed really immature because of this fear. As a result, I ended up marrying a European man. He was a man (a grown up, so to speak) although being the same age as the boys around here. His best friends and he always hug when they see each other. It's just the way it is for European men. They are not considering it a stigma to show friendship / affection to each other as American males do. As for Stefan: I always found him a solid workhorse in the kitchen. His "cocky" demeanor translated as confidence, fearlessness, sureness. He was actually my fan fave. His desire to convert all lesbians is probably not accurate. He probably just had a crush on the very cute and talented Jamie. At least that is how it seemed. Stay well and happy! Cheers!!!

Dear Cross pooh bear, Toby you have really helped to reinvigorate the show.Tom ,Padma and Gail get super boring. I love your passion hope you stay on next season.

Goddamn, Toby, you won me over. I believed you to be a poor fit for this, but you have redeemed yourself in the last few episodes.

I realize you needed to make a splash, and the pithy, one-liners seemed to be your angle, but damn, for the smart folks watching, it was painful. But you diverted in the last few episodes and actually had almost of a "fan voice" to express.

Look, I am a straight girl who devours Tom on every episode, but damn if you haven't come across well as of late. I actually want to see you back, and I would never have thought that in the recent past.

I hope they keep you on because you are (on camera) multidemensional. You know Hosea shouldn't have won, at least in the grand scheme of things.

This was all a long winded attempt to say you corrected mid course very well. Pun intended.

That was a fun show. Congratulations to Fabio.. It's nice that all 4 final 4 chefs got some prizes.. Hosea the $100,000, Carla got the car,etc., Stefan got a trip with Chef Ripert, and Fabio got the fan favorite prize. They all are winners and have made a name for themselves for their futures.

Thank you so much for blogging on this particular topic! I was incredibly surprised by the direction you went with this blog, not to mention impressed. I look forward to many thought-provoking conversations centering around your comments with my fellow fans of the show.

Hello there,

I am a medic in the USAF stationed at Luke AFB, AZ. I am also Mrs. Surprise Arizona America 2008.

I was watching the Reunion show and I saw that Tom helped save a diner by doing the abdominal thurst. It is NOT called the Himleck anymore. I have been an Air Force CPR Instructor since 1988 and I would love to volunteer my time and talent to come on the show and teach your next group of chefs and judges (if they would like to learn) CPR....I would do it for free. I love Top Chef and I have watched it from day one. I tape it on my DVR so if I am away or get home late I can watch it and fast forward through the commercials. I'm originally from DC and I really really wanted Carla to win. But what messed her up was listening to her assistant on the last challange talking her into doing her beef in a way whe was not familiar with as well as not allowing herself to make the tart she wanted to make (which would have been fabulous...as she was a great pastry maker). It would have been great to have 2009 as the year we got an africian american in the white house and an africian american as the TOP CHEF....but win or not...CARLA is a TOP CHEF in her own right.

As Tom said...CPR It is a great thing for everyone to know...especially Chefs who cook food and are aound food all the time. It is a skill that can save lives.....

Take care and get in touch with me because my offer is a serious one.

TSgt Dana L. Blake
NCOIC Luke Women's Clinic
Luke AFB, AZ 85309

P.S. My husband and kids think I should write a cook book they love my cooking...I make packaged food taste homemade meals in little or no time with not much effort. I think I will do it..and call it Doctor that "stuff" up. Since I'm a medic and I'm making package food "Better" that's how I Doctor it up. I will have an doctor's coat on with cooking tools in the pockets. Look for my book after I graduate in Sept 2012.

To scharabo: You left out male nurses Your are really, really, really homophobic. Are you a big fan of Rush Limbaugh?

Toby you are so cool! You rock!

TEAM EUROPE SHOULD HAVE WON!!! STEFAN AND FABIO ARE THE CUTEST

scharabo: naive. Jaime mentioned being a lesbian in every single episode she was in. What'd you think 'Team Rainbow' meant, that they were Irish?

I was just under the impression that European men (especially Italian ones) are just more openly affectionate toward the same sex as Americans. Harvey Milk may have made it more possible to show it on TV, but I think it has more to do with their Euro-ness.

scharabo --- did you not watch the show at all? Fabio and Stefan are not a couple. Fabio is straight and married, and Stefan is a total pu$$yhound. Jamie being a lesbian was not exactly a secret. Hello...Team Rainbow? And there have been gay chefs every single season.

What is surprising about gay chefs? I think incredibly naive is right on.

To Scharabo:

Fabio and Stefan are NOT a couple. They explained that their affection (including kissing each other on the head) is a "European" thing. While Stefan is single, Fabio is married. To a woman. :)

As far as Jamie goes - did you not watch the show all season? The "Team Rainbow" cheftestants were all gay or lesbian. They outed themselves on the very first episode.

Tom is NOT gay - he is also married with kiddos. Rich, the "earlier eliminated contestant" and also a member of "Team Rainbow" (meaning he was gay) was talking about an experience in a gay bar called "Pecs" where the guys talked about how cute or attractive Tom is. Nothing more.

Overall, does it really matter what sexual orientation people are? I don't think you can lump people into categories (gay/straight) just by career choice either. Just as there are straight folks in every profession, there are also homosexual people too. On that front, I think you are incredibly naive.

Toby, great blog. Loved it :).

Toby, you just sealed your fate. You consider yourself a "critic", yet refer to "The 40-Year Old Virgin" , "Knocked Up", and "Superbad" as the best comedies in the past 10 years????? And we are listening to your opinion on food (in which you likely have as little taste?) You lost me on this one, Toby. And I had been giving you the benefit of the doubt. Tssk

I very much enjoyed the reunion show. There must be something special about chefs, in that they seem to be able to bury-the-hatches and re-unite for shared memories and fun. It's enjoyable to watch the participants (whom we have come to know and like) talk and joke in a relaxed atmosphere. The highlighted film clips are always hilarious. I've noticed that some other reality/talent based programs (e.g., "Project Runway") no longer have a reunion of contestants at the season's end. Now, the Project Runway "Fan Favorite" is merely announced. But, I remember that the one or two times Project Runway had reunions, the groups were unpleasant, angry and bickering. That is no way for anybody to say good bye. Top Chef is my favorite television pleasure. I can hardly wait for the next go- around. Congratulations, Fabio. It had to be you or Carla.

I loved you on the show, Toby. you're a breath of fresh air. i really hope you come back next season. you're not biased and seem very fair. you're also hilarious. thanks for your comments this season.

Great blog Toby. I agree, straight men owe Harvey Milk

The "bromance" was so adorable and sweet to watch. Fabio and Stefan really made this season extra fun. I hope they can capitalize on their chef-fame and do well. (cockychefclothing? Perfect and :snicker:

Carla too. She was great.

I'll admit, I really don't care for Hosea, but wish him well.

I hope you are back for the next round. I enjoyed your insight and witticisms. Cheers

I more than enjoy Top Chef, and felt all three of the last contestants (Carla, Stefan, and Hosea) were Top Chefs in their own right. I thought the judges had a very difficult task in narrowing it down to one person. Though I watch the show for its content and competition, I have to admit that I love listening to Tom's comments and looking at his beautiful eyes. I commend Tom in knowing the Heimlich procedure, and was quite surprised this evening when other chefs admitted not knowing the technique.
I personally feel every restaurant owner should be trained in this area. Proud of you, Tom!

t

I thought your description of Fabio and Stefan was ridiculous. European men do act different than american males. I don't think america would accept two males interacting that way. I also hope Toby Young is not asked back as a judge. His comparisons of actors to the contestants food was so phony and boring. I mean when he compared Tom Cruise's role in Tropic Thunder to the food was stupid, We need to keep Gail!

Toby the website is wrong. It's cockychefclothing.com

Ok Toby I have to say you are so right on with the entire article, EXCEPT the ending. The only reason that Stefan played "tonsil hockey" (you maybe showing your age a bit with that quote) is that you said he couldn't convert her. He looked at that as a challenge in itself and thought hey lets see what I can get away with and probably set the stage for it with her, so I am sure she was on board with it!! I know Stefan likes to think he can CONVERT a lesbian and that is a challenge for him. He epitomizes the word Cocky and well I guess he wears that well. Good article and yes I agree, I don't think he is moving anywhere.:) I am a fan!!

OK, I'm confused. Are Fabio and Stefan a 'couple'. When questioned they neither said yes, not no. I did notice Stefan spend most of the reunion program with his arm around the top of Fabio's chair? Was that a 'possession' posture?

Am I surprised Jamie is apparently an outed lesbian? Yes, but that might explain her 'do-it-yourself' tatoos.

And what was the banter between one of the earlier eliminated chefs and Tom about a gay bar called AB's?

Male hair dressers, ballet dancers and now chefs? (And perhaps food critics?)

I'm really not homophobic, just simply surprised or perhaps incredibly naive.

Love you on the show, Toby. I hope you will return. Was great to see everyone behind the scenes. It cast new light on many of the contestants. Stephan is actually very charming, he truly likes women, that is why he 'scored' at the lesbian bar. Very pleased for Fabio, he was my favorite, too. Take care and hope to see more of you.