Cast Blog: #TOPCHEF

Whip It Good - Ep 8

Gail Has No Problem With Blood

Make George's Cravable Breakfast Sausage

Gail Simmons Won't Be Pushed Around

Make Doug's Winning Mussels

Tom Colicchio Answers Your Restaurant Wars Qs

Gail: It Wasn't Keriann's Day

Make Doug's Winning Braised Pork!

Gail: We Had a Tough Job This Week

Make Katsuji's Authentically Delicious Stuffing

Hugh: The Demise of Cornwallis and Aaron

Make Gregory's Winning Dumplings

Richard: Chefs Please Follow Instructions

Richard Tries Money Ball Soup

Make a Home Run-Worthy Popcorn Crème Brule

Hugh: Where There's a Will There's a Fenway

Gail: Keriann and Aaron Were Being ---holes

Make the Winning Surf and Turf

Gail: We're Taking No Prisoners

Richard Goes From Player to Announcer

Tom Talks Boston

Gail: There Was No Season 11 Underdog

Hugh Wants Nick to Be Kind to Himself

Gail: It Was Difficult to Let Go of Shirley

Big Easy to Ocean Breezy

Gail: The Final Four Are Like Our Children

Emeril Is Proud to Serve Shirley's Dish

Hugh: Enough With the Mexican Food Hate

Gail on Favreau, Choi, and Finding Yourself

Hugh on Poor Boys, Swingers and Food Trucks

Emeril: Nick's Choice Is Part of the Game

Nick's License to Immune

Hugh's Sitting on the Dock of the Bay

Hugh Decides Eight Is Enough

Gail Talks OvenGate

Dookie Chase Makes Everybody Cry

Fin, Found, Floundering

What Danny Meyer Taught Gail Simmons

'Top Chef' Goes to Hog Heaven

Gris Gris Boucherie Ya Ya

Brian and Travis' Dud Spuds

Whip It Good - Ep 8

Maybe the chefs should just worry about their own dishes.

Hello, my little husky muffstaches. Ew. 

This past week's Last Chance Kitchen episode pitted newly-eliminated Danyele against reigning champ, CJ, in a battle of the sandwiches. If any of you have been watching since Season 1, you'll remember that Tom issued a similar challenge in Episode 7, a challenge Harold Dieterle won. This time, though, it was all about the lunch meat, poking fun at Padma's critique of Danyele's berry challenge-losing terrine, that apparently tasted like balogna. Danyele decides to go the classic route and makes a turkey sandwich, something she eats daily. CJ puts a spin on a classic ham and butter sandwich. Although Tom does like simple food, I don't think Danyele's turkey sandwich is quite it. It's still Top Chef. I think if she had elevated the sandwich a bit, Danyele may have had a better chance. Farewell, Danyele. (I'm a poet, and I didn't even know it.) While she dukes it out with Kuniko in our Save a Chef vote, CJ moves on to compete another week. Go, Big Ceej!

OK, on to this week's episode. Sidenote: if you like Kristen's Top Chef hoodie, you can purchase one right HERE. I want one too!

The chefs wake up early to head to Bow, Washington to harvest their ingredient. What ingredient? They have no idea. They end up at Taylor Shellfish Farm. I hope Top Chef Master Kerry Heffernan is watching because he loves an oyster. Anway, the chefs start picking their oysters, and Josie gets stuck. No one wants to help her. Sadsies. Micah helps and falls on his arse. Life isn't fair. John is in heaven as he grew up in east end of Long Island and knows what he's doing. This reminds me... although it's about clamming and not oyster farming, I recommend the movie Diggers about clamming on Long Island. I have a feeling the lifestyles might be similar. Hey, Paul Rudd and Ken Marino are in it! The chefs have to use their harvested oysters to create either hot or cold dishes for Emeril. I instantly thought to make a po' boy for the New Orleans connection, but John one-upped me making oysters in the style of Drago's. Drago's is sooo good. They charbroil their oysters. He also mentions Brennan's, home of Bananas Foster. The chefs come up with some pretty varied preparations. Stefan smokes his oyster, which is legal now in the state of Washington. Lizzie highlights red currants. P.S. Josh called his shucking a "wrestling match for sure." I love that Josh compares everything to wrestling. We're going to need to come up with a name for him. His last name is Valentine, so the possibilites are endless. There was Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, so I vote for calling Josh "The Hammer" from now on, but it's up to you guys! Leave your sugestions in the comments below!

Ultimately, Bart, Josie, and John fall to the bottom. Lizzie, Micah, and Brooke end up on top. And Micah wins! He knew to bring the heat. He reveals that he's a single father with two daughters, and that he was just happy to cook for Emeril, whom he refers to as G-d to his Moses. Okaaaaay.

On to the Elimiation Challenge! The chefs are going to cook for one of Seattle's hottest sports teams -- the Rat City Rollergirls! I instantly thought of a very underrated film, Whip It. Watching the movie has pretty much ben my only exposure to roller derby, so bear with me. The chefs team up. John and Brooke. Bart and Josie. Micah and Lizzie. Joshua and Sheldon. Stefan and his wife, Kristen, who wink at each other. Each team must create a dish inspired by their rollergirl's name.

That evening, the chefs head to the derby to see what all the fuss is about. Although iti's relaxi-time, no one is relaxing. Josie is cheering, loudly, and everyone's getting annoyed. Not only does Josie's voice hurt "The Hammer's" soul, but he now says it's like nails on a chalkboard. When the chefs get home, Josie and Micah get into it. Josie tells the chefs not to bark up her tree. She says something about Micah getting out of the closet. Although this seemed like she was insinuating that Micah's gay, I didn't get that impression. What else would it have meant? I don't know. Either way, it did not go over well.

On a happier note, the judges enjoy coming up with fun roller derby names for each other. Or rather Hugh enjoys giving his fellow judges names. Emeril reveals that his is "Bam Bam," which rivals his porn name, Toughie Baker. Don't know what I'm talking about? You're going to want to watch THIS.

Padma gets "Padma Smacks me." Yikes!

Let's get to the food. John says that Brooke reminds him of his daughter, which is sweet and sad. Their food is received really well. 

Bart and Josie have some issues and end up on the bottom. Their dish actually reminded me a lot of a dish I just ate at Five Leaves in Greenpoint with beautiful forbidden rice with beets, sans any teriyaki. That dish was a winner, though. This one, unfortunately, was "interesting." Interesting crappy, in this case.

Stefan and Kristen had an, um, interesting, concept: an "inside-out" chicken, much like Paul Qui's dish for Charlize Theron last season, but the judges were missing the chicken. 

Lizzie and Micah receive kudos for their fried pepper, while Josh and Sheldon's fried offering, tempura, is lacking.

John, Brooke, Micah, and Lizzie make up the top group, with John and Brooke taking home the win.

Josh, Sheldon, Josie, and Bart fight for their right to stay in the competiion. Josh pulls a CJ, but admits he's doing it, and asks how Micah and Lizzie's pepper ended up on top. Worry about yourselves, chefs!

Luckily for Josh, the judges thought Bart and Josie's dish was worse than his and Sheldon's. In fact, it was "teriyaki terrible." Good one, Tom. Bart goes home for the dish -- he apparently needs to season his food more. The adorable Bart goes home graciously but notb efore mtioning that too much salt is bad for you. Touche, Bart. Touche.

Bart moves on to face another Amazon, CJ, in Last Chance Kitchen. Watch now!

See you in 2013! Until then, Have a Nosh!

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