Malarkey Madness: Elements

Brian Malarkey handicaps the competitions and reveals why he thinks Lisa Fernandez didn't deserve her win.

This week's ranking appears first followed by last week's ranking. A little nicer Malarkey this week .... Love to you all!

1/1 Stephanie - Still on top even after a very poor performance in the Quickfire. Shows her great all-around chef skills by balancing a very edgy team and in the end she get the praise from Tom and company. (Good to have you back, Tom, and I agree the cussing is an awful reflection on our industry)

2/2 Richard - Still shows great leadership skills even while almost sinking his team in the poaching Jacuzzi. No excuses for the scales on the salmon -- you should have removed the skin. I can't imagine it was any good poached. You know how awful it is to be on the bottom, and I'm sure we won't see you back there for a long time.

3/3 Mark - You are hilarious. "The kitchen was so big it could fit into Yankee Stadium." Dude! I'm excited to see what you do in a solo competition; you seem to be following the leader a bit too much.

4/6 Antonia - Really stepped it up this week with some great leadership skills -- this is what it is going to take in order to win this competition. I thought your dish looked great and I agree the butternut squash Idea was stupid given the huge budget. I loved watching you tell Spike what was up .... Nicely done!

5/5 Andrew - Get off the caviar and be more assertive. It seems you have calmed down and you are starting to get the pace of the game. It's a long season -- stay solid .... Leave the drama to the weak ....

6/4 Dale: Reality TV Reality Check - People are going to remember you from TC4 for a long time and if you keep cussing and screaming we are going to have awful memories. TC4 does a great job of highlighting the food and that is what you need to focus on. Shut up and cook! I've got you on top because you work at a great restaurant and you have really good techniques .... Stay the course ....

7/9 Ryan - Chill out and relax -- you look all frantic like I did in the restaurant challenge. You seem like a really nice guy with decent skills. I don't think that's going to be enough to win this season.

8/7 Jennifer - Let's see how you are going to respond to loosing Zoi. Damn -- that poor chair didn't do anything to you.

9/10 Nikki - Keep a level head and solving problems. Nicely done. The preview for next week tells us you might be on the outs ....

10/8 Spike - You are really making a bad name for cool hats. Squash soup was a stupid Idea even if the judges said it was a good idea -- they would have knocked you for not spending your money wisely.

11/12 Lisa - So negative all the time, throwing the sheet trays around, cussing, bitching. Congratulations on the win and enjoy the trip to Italy -- the bacon sounds great but you really didn't deserve it had the judges seen the entire process. You were awful in the grocery store, didn't want to do this dish or that dish but didn't have anything to offer as far as ideas, you just kept waiting for Dale and Stephanie to come up with a dish you would agree on. You were dipping and licking your fingers on national TV ... come on!

Farwell Zoi -- You handled your exit with a ton of class. Congratulations and best of luck.

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