Cast Blog: #TOPCHEF

Malarkey On Malarkey

Brian Malarky gives his take on the remaining contestants.

It's been a great ride so far, cowboys and cowgirls:

Once again too much time has passed since my last blog, but let's catch up and recap on the great episodes we have missed.

Everyone escaped the building without Andrew going mad and creating too much chaos. Thankfully we had a lot of cops on hand. If he had only used a grain of sense it would have been Spike's time to nail shut the coffin on himself. Horrible strategy to think so little of the vastly talented group of chefs remaining to grab the very "common" ingredients he thought would hurt them rather than try and get what would help him. Chicken, tomatoes, lettuce, etc. Come on -- this wasn't a lunch box challenge ... this was a Top Chef challenge! Olives and grapes? Please ...

Side note: I think Sam is great in many ways: talented chef, nice guy, fan favorite -- hell, I'll say it -- good-looking, but none of these are any reason to have him judge an episode of Top Chef, not in the richly talented land of Chicago, with all of the possible great chefs to get involved. I remember one of my favorite parts of the grueling Top Chef adventures was walking into the kitchen and finding out what great chef we were going to have critiquing us. I must say last season had a lot more talent at the upper levels but if next season is looking for a talented chef, nice guy, fan favorite (in his own mind) ... good-looking chef to judge an episode ... I'm available. Come on -- laugh with me and not at me. It's late -- I just worked another 12-hour day.


Oh, then what happened: Dale finally melted down but I don't blame him. If one person had the worst luck all season with getting stuck with the weakest links, it was our boy Dale. He has mad skills -- he just got stuck with the shlumps. Oh, yes, and the other team completely dominated with some awesome skills so said the guy who almost sank during Restaurant Wars last season. Nice work once again, Stephanie, and have a great time on your well-deserved travels. Now Jose Andes is amazing. I once had a 38 course meal in D.C. at the Minibar.

All caught up, just in time for another paragraph with abusive comma and period abuse.

Frozen scallops have finally sunk our Spike, who I must admit had finally started growing on me. Did I like the way he handled himself throughout this competition? NO! But in the end I do believe he made some great TV and kept us entertained. Good luck in you future endeavors, Spike, and when you come to SD someday let me buy you a hat.

Now only if Lisa would have taken a bow or if the judges would have given us a well-deserved double elimination ...