As the tension mounted, The Artist Formerly Known as Angry Dale doubted Carla's spicy peanut soup. But she persisted. Then she neatly whacked off half her fingernail. Let me tell you, I've had the same injury on any number of occasions. And that f---ing HURTS. But Carla, unlike the previous patient, tells the medic to shove off, wraps her finger up and soldiers on -- referring to her wound as "an inconvenience." I need not pursue this subject, I think. Res Ipsa Loquitor. The thing Speaks For Itself. Carla? Rottweiler. Jamie? Malingerer.
First match-up and suddenly, Jamie refuses to even go in the tank for her team. Her chickpeas aren't cooked. As anticipated, she has nothing to serve. According to Spike's master plan, she was supposed to take a dive, but now, she doesn't even manage to make it into the ring to take one for the team. It doesn't matter. Fabio triumphantly beats Casey with his gnocchi -- taking what looks like a victory leap over the net. Nice to see Fabio so unabashedly happy for a change.
Tiffany F. whupps No-Longer-Angry Dale by a mile.
Marcel, dutifully doing the producer's bidding by jacking up the drama quotient in confessional, describes walking out on the tennis court by saying he "felt like a gladiator entering an arena." To which I'd suggest, "Not in that jacket."
Angelo, whose mackerel has gone mysteriously slimy, tries to beg some salmon off of Tre, who wisely rebuffs him. He then edges Marcel with some borrowed tuna -- possibly because Marcel has chosen to put cream in his tuna dish.... Other than vitello tonnato, I'm having a hard time thinking of a tuna preparation that is improved by the addition of cream. But I guess anything is possible.
Tiffany Derry falls to Antonia -- who I like more than ever since her remark early in the show that her chosen sport in high school was "smoking a lot of pot."
Happy Holidays! As always your blog is fantastic! Last night's top chef was truly epic in every way!
The episode even inspired me to break the record for Top Chef blog comment exclamation points!
I just LOVE the fact that you are back judging and blogging Top Chef. You break it down and cut right through the bullshit, giving us a brilliantly incisive look at what the hell is going on in each episode. Please don't leave Top Chef again after the All-Stars cycle.
What can I say? I love you and love your blog. It's insightful, witty, intelligent, funny and with just enough tongue in cheek that keeps it edgy. Also, we know you know what you're talking about.
Thank you and keep up the blogging.
Tony Bourdain, you are AWESOME!!!!! I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Your observations are spot-on, as well as hilarious! I'm going to be laughing for the rest of the day about the "penetration" comment. True dat!
Your insight is spot on... as usual. Sad to see Spike go, but Carla totally deserved the win with her game on attitude! Jamie better step it up next week (I've seen Server's work with worse cuts than hers), or just volunteer to go home. I think its possible she might be able to participate more from the comfort of her own couch.
I love, love, love your commentary! Carla definitely showed what a true cook looks like this week after her finger fiasco! I shutter at the thought of Angelo actually putting "love" into every dish but he is trying a tad bit of sabotage and strategy on every corner! Hmmm...hopefully the other cheftestants will realize this sooner than later!
OMG, right on target Tony!....Hurray for Carla who fought like a warrior for her dish even with an injury...it was epic....Angelo in his season and this one has been so helpful getting chefs back on the streets out of the competition, gotta love him...Hope you're back on next week Bourdain...
Don't know who underestimates Carla? As viewers I think we all root for her and know shes got game. A little more confidence and she had a shot at winning her season.
Mr. Tony, I don't want to sound ridick, but your respect for women got me by the balls (spiritual ones, 'cause I happen to be a W.; I have a spiritual penis too, but that's beside the point). I believe you got that 'under influence'... of your beautiful gutsy wife, and the 'little lady B." BTW, I watch "No Reservations" religiously, I wish to invite you to Poland, where I am from and all my family is there too.
Besides, as a writer, I think you get too kooky with your metaphors, but I guess that's your appeal. Thanks for the insight.
Okay, THIS was funny and present. Not the usual drone fest that the other blogs trudge out week after week. Thank you for clearly drawing a line in the sand regarding the unimportant mess that are the Kardashians. Let's hope they stop that Jonas brother nonsense or anything else of its ilk.
Yup Anthony, much to my dismay, Members Only Jackets are back in style, but please don't think that gives license to the 40++ to whip out their old one and put it on!
Anthony- thank you for being an honest, unfiltered judge. Tom wishes he could be as blunt as you are. I too was very excited to see you at judge's table this season....big fan of No Reservations!
I'm with you on Carla. She is underestimated but will consistently deliver as long as she trusts in her own cooking!
Jamie is a joke this season. I enjoyed watching her before and looooooooved it when Fabio coined her as "Top Scallop".......but come on, this is a COOKING competition. What a whiny wimp. She makes me want to throw my glass of wine at the TV, steal her apron, and take over. If you don't want to compete, than give another contestant a chance!
Looking forward to the next episode! Thank you for your hilarious commentary!
Carla rules, even though as your partner at the DC FF the foie got burned. Well at least according to Mr. Ripert.
Anthony, big fan of No Reservations but i got to agree with Fabio. His dish might have sucked but you did not need to totally dis and humiliate him. As much as you play the roll of the rebel, remember you are "The Man" in this setting and he stuck it to you (tastefully I thought). No disrespect, I remain a fan.
Yup. Spike out-spiked himself. He should've been paying more attention to what Angelo was doing to his dish and less attention to the Top Chef edition of "Risk" that he was playing in his mind.
Jamie has successfully employed the possum strategy way too much. Time for her to put up.
Anthony, I have no idea what you talking about once here in Brazil we still watching a previous season of Top Chef, however, I have to say that I am a HUGE fan of No Reservations and I really want to ask you to come to Brazil in order to try our flavours! ;) Happy New Year!
"I've never been entirely convinced there's not actual penetration involved." HA!!! Just wanted to let you know that I am a huge fan and reading your blogs is about as entertaining as watching the show itself. Keep on keepin' on Tony.
Oh, Anthony, I so agree with you about Jamie. I'm sitting here having a glass of wine after dinner and waiting to watch to see if she cooks this evening. Thank you for that very honest observation, which all the chefs in this season are feeling, but are only "whispering" about and you are actually stating.
"Clostridium Perfringens" Oh Tony, you light up my life in so many ways, most recently with this weekly blog. You say what I feel in ways that I never could...so I will simply leave you with the song in my heart "I love him, I love him, I looooove him!" Thank you for the euphoric happiness you are constantly leaving me with. I think it is possible that you are even making me a better person...thanks again.
President of the "I love Carla" fan club here! Mr. B....I was all prepared to make mention of how GREAT Carla is yet again....but you truly did her justice! In due respect to this blog....I have just downloaded the first season of "No Reservations" on Netflix. I have heard for years of your genius, but I have to admit....I haven't seen the show. In honor of Spike and that unfortunate loss....I will be grabbing some friends and going to "Good Stuff Eatery" tomorrow! I for one thinks it takes SKILL to cook a perfect burger! WE are happy to have Spike here in DC!