Hugh Acheson

Hugh Acheson reveals the real reason he's not in the episode.

on Nov 30, 2011

“My wedding cake was a big gummie bear.” Geez Louise. Where did they find these people? Did that guy just tell four chefs to make something that would make his “inner fat kid” happy? I want this rich white guy to channel how it feels to be poor, obese, and living with diabetes, then we’ll break bread.

Edward’s back is Brokeback. No comment.

Chris Jones is going to push the envelope for the whitest of white people ever. These folks want white bread food with edible gold on top. Plain Jane is going to win this thing. An edible cigar is the wrong thing to do but that’s what Moto has in store for us…. I would cheer for an edible dip tobacco medley though, or an edible bottle of arsenic, to truly illustrate edible versions of things you never would want to eat.

Paul Qui is self-critical which is a good attribute in chefs who push themselves daily. Continues to be a rock star.

Gail is Canadian, so is the pink-loving, cilantro-hatin’ hostess. They hate Chris’ cigar. Pinky calls it “daunting,” but I think she says Dante, like the fifth rung of Purgatory in the Inferno. I am suddenly in love with the hostess.

They love the Paul’s Brussels sprouts. Tom rolls his eyes as a woman exclaims that that Lindsay’s beets are colorful. Whitney’s scallop is deemed pretty blah. That’s better than salty scallop syndrome, which I suffered through once. I recovered though. Trust me. 

Ty-Lor has a f---ing potty mouth on him. Actually they all do, which confuses the heck out of my seven-year-old, who wonders what’s up with all the bleeps. All of the mains look rough around the edges. Chuy’s goat cheese salmon is not loved at all. Scallops again, but this time from Beverly, and they get a nice response. Nyesha plates up a pretty awesome looking beef plate that is way too fancy for these peeps. Some utter scared squeals, ”Blood! Oh my gawd.” As if this meat was always dead and bloodless. On top of that, it’s actually the sauce on the plate that she is freaking out about. Awe well, I thought it looked great. Note to Nyesha… they want more gilded, less good! T- Lor’s dish looks like a pork trainwreck.