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The chefs have eaten through the sweet potato fence of the last episode and here we are still in Dallas.
Beverly is bringing in the karma police to do battle with her arch nemesis Heather. A life-sized voodoo doll is in the works. While furiously making egg rolls in the future “Asian” battle, Heather will suddenly get stabbing pains in her side. Beverly will laugh in a maniacal way.
Onward to Austin. Paul will be at home but is “sweatin’ balls” right now. These are his words, not mine. We learn, and this is unexpected to me, that Paul was a pot dealer with a messy apartment full of dog turds. Now he is the chef of Uchiko, one of the leading Japanese restaurants in the nation. Youth of today, take note: there is life beyond the dog-pooped apartment you live in.
Toyota Sienna wagon train time. Hopefully they don’t go via the Donner Pass… these chefs would eat each other faster than any other expedition in history. Heather is looking for a man, a tall man with wavy hair, and would gladly make etouffee with John Besh, as long as he left the Asian fusion out of it. This in lieu of $5000. I love Besh, but I’d take the greenbacks. Matchmaking is the chatter in both vans. Malibu is exposed. It’s been a while since Crary has been to the YMCA to sport his spandex chef jacket.
I think they have no idea what’s about to occur. Hell, I have no idea what to expect.
Bye bye heather! Karma is a bitch...maybe next time you will think twice before belittling someone else. Good riddance
KARMA! Heather got her wish - she went home because SHE & SHE ALONE screwed up. Once again, well stated Hugh!
i am living for your blogs this season, hugh. you really spice up some otherwise bland personalities. my boyfriend is getting tired of me from reading your blog to him. i'm pretty sure he's jealous. keep on keeping on! can't wait for next week :) but what will we do without any boring white people food to relate to on the show?
You are a pleasure to read! Your observations are spot on! Love The karma--what goes around comes around--so long Heather!
I just love you, Hugh! I look forward to your blog only a teensy weensy bit less than I look forward to the actual show!
I love your blog today. I was laughing so much. Thanks for the relief especially at the end of a very tiring day. This episode was a perfect example of Karma!!!
SOOOO GLAD HEATHER IS GONE, POETIC JUSTICE WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR BEV TO WIN THE COMPETITION THAT DEFEATED HER BULLY... GREAT GOING NYESHA.
Hugh, your blogs bring me such joy! Your ability to articulate is far beyond what an author's agent could believe. I have MS and I so want to eat at you and Tom's restaurants. This is not a plea, I can do it and I shall. Happy Holidays to you and your loverly family! Blessings
I'm glad Ed, Beverly and Sara were on top they are all kind and nice people who also create really great dishes. I'm looking forward to the reunion and see if Heather recognizes how harsh she was towards Beverly and the other chefs in general.
So what was the prize for elimination challenge? I thought elimination challenge winner always won something pretty big. Did not see any award for Sarah for winning this episode.
There is no doubt you are a wonderful chef. However, you are also a marvelous writer. Your style demonstrates humor filled with informative narrative. Love love love watching you on the show and reading your blog. Bourdain has a chef hot on his trail in cooking and writing department.
The best thing about this season, other than the inclusion of our Kentucky Chef Ed Lee, is your blog. It's hilarious. Thanks.
I know, I was waiting to hear what Sarah won too. Glad I wasn't the only one who noticed it wasn't mentioned. And I'm sorry, but Nyesha is pretty bad too. Looks down her knows at everyone.
Tom's comment to Heather about Bev's use of the pressure cooker was well played.
Also, it was Tom who said he would go to dinner at Patti's house "with bells on," not Emeril.
Hugh, you are not only a genius with the knife, but pen...er keyboard as well! I love your hilarious blog and truthful observations.
In response to "juliaxxx" waiting to see what and how Heather responds I am guessing 2 scenarios:
A) She stays stubborn and defends her stand AND I personally feel that is what she really feels
B) Tones down and maybe even apologizes BUT is that real? Or has this experience hurt her where it really hurts? I mean, has her customers, colleagues, boss, etc. giving her back and she realizes she is hurting professionally and therefore apologizes BUT in reality she is not.
Hugh, it's official. I love reading your witty blogs more than I love watching the show (and I love the show)! Bravo and keep 'em coming!! (no pun intended...)
Please, Hugh... You need to pen a children's book. I think it would be bigger than Harry Potter! They could even make a culinary theme park too. Love, Love, Love this season of Top Chef, and especially this Blog!!!
This is the best blog ever! I have not stopped laughing! The white people food comment made me squirt soda everywhere!
I absolutely adore Hugh Acheson. And I keep cringing as I keep reading how Acheson is almost Bourdain. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Hugh is fresh, genuine, and an unmitigated delight, whereas Anthony Bourdain couldn't give a rat's behind if he were thought of as a delight, and would probably prefer not to be, actually.
Don't get me wrong. I really like -- and have always liked -- Bourdain, but at times he can be ornery and harsh just for his image's sake. Bourdain can be wordy and redundant and even factually incorrect; I have been known to yell at him on TV in my more irritable moments, when I find his his rough edges and cliche biases a bit too much to handle in his over-reaching moments. That said, his attitude is GOLD. That's where it's at with Anthony. With me.
Acheson's wit, on the other hand, is RAPIER sharp, and he delivers it with the economy worthy of a poet. He is Hart Crane to Bourdain's Edgar Lee Masters. In a short, simple sentence (and sometimes not even that, just a fragment) Hugh Acheson can allude to 5 different things with some depth to them. Anthony's audience is a petulant teen boy on a dirt bike. Hugh's audience is a polymath adult who grew up to be an armchair chef, who doesn't suffer fools nor silly prejudices. This is where's it's at for me, I just realized, with my darling Hugh. HE DOES NOT DUMB STUFF DOWN. OMG I totally respect him right back!!! Oh, and he can cook circles around Bourdain.
Please ... no mistake here. This isn't a jab at Anthony Bourdain. This is a CRY OF THE HEART to everyone to please stop that thing with Acheson / Bourdain that is dropping all over the net. It is simply unfair to BOTH of them. And it's extremely irritating to ME. That is a matter of great concern. In my world. Y'all.
Bravo(no pun intended) on another great blog! Funny,spot on, and keeps the reader wanting more! And we Kentuckians love Ed too!
Thank goodness for your blog this season! Today is a cold, rainy day in Kentucky, but you managed to make me laugh. Bravo should have you blog on any food related show they have. Maybe even non-food related shows. I'd love to see what you would have to say about the Housewives! But, you'd actually have to watch them, which could actually be a reality show in itself. 'Chef Hugh Watches...'. I'm getting on the phone to Andy Cohen right away! Also, go Ed. Love to see a Kentuckian on Top Chef.
Bravo should've had "Karma Police" playing as the soundtrack to Heather's departure. That would've been awesome.
dear mr. acheson
please please please write book of personal musings...deeply appreciating the inane and senseless humor with vigor!
Ding, Dong the witch is dead...so long Heather, don't let the door hit you on the way out you bully. Hugh, I am pleasantly surprised at your witty and very entertaining blog. Keep up the good work.
Hugh, your blog is great and very funny. But, even better than that is the fact that you are SO HOT!!
Flippin fantastic post.
While watching the episode, the tune going through my mind was "Ding dong, the witch is dead," but "Karma Police" takes me back to the 90s, high school drama queens and appropriately suits the departure of our top bully.
I wonder if yelp reviews of Heather's restaurant now include comments on the need to spice up her cuisine with some Asian favors? Like bacon, sriracha goes with (almost) anything too. ;)
Hugh I totally love your toungh & cheek writing & rapier WIT!!! You should pen a book. I would buy it, don't know why you're compared to Tony Bourdain. Can he even cook anymore? Your style of writing is wry, full of wit & not filthy words.
No, I'm not gonna kiss your grits. My mother got a subscription to Gourmet when I was 19 and graduated from Campbell's cream of celery or mushroom soup to cheese souffle and salad, after which my father said "that was good, where's dinner?" That was a divorce in the making, sadly it took another 15 years. So for my tribute meal I'd make sassy individual cheese souffles, a riff on Chasen's beet and endive salad we had the week they closed after being the only Buffalo Bills fans at a Raiders' game in South LA. Perhaps add a popover, as Mom loved to cook Prime Rib, roasted potatoes and then make Yorkshire pudding. I'd add some chives to the batter. That's my riff.
wow your blog is the perfect combo of wit, sarcasm and substance. You touch on everything that I was thinking about while watching this episode. Can't wait to hear what heather has to say on the reunion. No doubt she'll be uber apologetic. Keep blogging Chef Hugh it's the only one I've ever read!
Hugh!!! I love, Love, LOVE your blog!! Look forward to reading it! Thanks for keeping it upbeat & REAL!! And by the way, LOVED the mention of our Texas Favorite: Whataburger!! :) As far as Heather/Beverly drama: Shame on Heather for her behaviour--and on national TV to boot! I, along with MILLIONS of other viewers shouted "YES!!!!!" when she was told to "pack her knives and GOOOOOOO"! What a GREAT win for TEAM BEV--top tier AND Heather gets packin'!! Classic!
This is a funny blog! I couldn't believe how rude Heather was, this blog made me laugh about it though. ha ha
Your blog is hilarious! Even my 19-yr-old sarcastic college student son is getting into it. Love that you can call Padma hot without sounding like a creeper. She IS hot! Love how you poke fun at all the personalities, both cheftestant and hosts. I laugh out loud reading this thing each week.
Your blog has become my must read and is almost trumping the show for me this season. Love,love, love your wit! You've even made my overly cynical-snarky son smile and tolerate my TC obsession a little better this season. Bravo Chef Hugh!
Being next door to Kentucky (across the river in Missouri) I also have to say GO TEAM ED!
"white people food"? I think I laughed for several minutes after reading that. Great blog; will look for Hugh's book. Now I'm off to Yelp to go read reviews for a certain Chicago restaurant. : ). As a Fort Worth native I never considered the town to be a honky-Tonk sort of town, but the Stockyards area, where Tim Love's restaurant is rustic. Fort Worth will never be as cool or weird as Austin. Sigh.
I love the comic spin Chef Acheson puts on everything. Very witty bogs and am enjoying them immensely.
On a serious note, Ms.Bully Heather Terhune, has denied to TV Guide that she is a Bully....it is not a surprise that Heather Terhune has no concept of self awareness. I am a firm believer in that food should be prepared with love and care as it is the fuel for everyone's body and soul. (yes sounds corny but I believe it makes a difference when food is prepared with love) Eating food made by a BULLY and a Culturally Biased Ignorant Chef does not seem appetizing to me and rather poisonous. Kimpton (very highly respected boutique hotel company) and Sable should seriously consider not exposing their clients to such food. Heather Terhune's unprofessional, racial, immature, insecure, and in-denial behavior should be brought to light on a larger scale since Bullying in this country is a major problem. I wish Bravo can address this further...may be during the Reunion Show....and let the world know that Bullying is not tolerated in any industry.
So here is the problem with labeling Heather a bully. It's assuming that she is wrong in her assessment of Beverly. I'm reading Ruhlman's "The Making of a Chef" and what Heather was doing is directing Beverly to be more organized. It's what executive chefs do. Heather is used to running a kitchen, and Beverly is a hot mess when comes to organizational skills. It's the thing that Ruhlman talked a lot about in his book: Mis en place.
Let's add on to that tonight's episode with the Bourbon flaming 2 feet in the air. Beverly is clumsy and that kind of thoughtlessness could result in disaster. She strikes me as someone who is unsafe in the kitchen.