Mr. Acheson, I love your writing style. You make me laugh out loud while making spot on observations. But the biggest plus: You mentioning James K. Polk. I lived in his hometown of Columbia, TN for a couple of years, and you couldn't really escape the Polk history. I also highly suggest that you check out the town's Mule Day Parade. Yes, a parade dedicated to the horse/donkey combo. (I see your wannabe-Canadian-speaking coach and raise you in livestock and parades...).