Hello my little deputies. I shall start this week by explaining my title. Well, just Google "Tom Haverford food slang." You're welcome. I almost titled this blog "Jonesin' for Chris" as an ode to Chris Jones, not Crary. Not because I don't like Crary, but because there is a reference to Chris Jones as the "Ugly Chris" in the episode, and that is simply not true. You're beautiful just the way you are, Chris! Keep wearing your ponytails and sunglasses!
On to the episode! The chefs pack up their stuff in San Antonio and head to Dallas, Texas. We learn several things in the car ride. The two nuggets I came away with were: 1) Dakota may have a warrant out for her arrest in Texas. Whoops! 2) Chris Crary lost 70 pounds. Wow. Note to self to ask him how he did that.
The first nugget wouldn't be that big of a deal if, say, the chefs weren't pulled over by law enforcement, but psych! It's just a Quickfire Challenge. Instead of arrest, the chefs face dreamboats Padma and John Besh. If you're in new Orleans and can afford a fine dining experience, you must visit August. The food is insane.