Cast Blog: #UNTYINGTHEKNOT

Settle or Reconcile? Vikki Weighs In

Vikki on Who Gets the House

Vikki on Pet Custody

Vikki on Splitting the Pension

Vikki on Dividing Property

Vikki on Who Gets the Engagement Ring

Settle or Reconcile? Vikki Weighs In

Vikki advises what to do when a couple is second guessing their decision to divorce.

Sometimes when a couple decides to mediate their divorce one or both are ready to divorce. At least, that is usually their intention when they begin the mediation process. However, when the couple starts the process they never really know what to expect. It's emotional. It's upsetting. It's scary. But sometimes people realize that their marriage REALLY may not be over and they start reconsidering the enviable and discuss reconciliation.

I truly believe that if a couple wants to try to resolve their differences and give it a second try, they should. I support a last ditch effort to try to make a marriage work. They loved each other once and the question becomes can they salvage that love that once existed. With that said, if they both want to work on their marriage, they should set parameters to identify the issues and agree on a timeframe to work on them. Things can only work if they both are committed to work each day on their challenges. If not, issues just don't go away on their own. They linger, fester and create major conflicts and impossible circumstances.

Mediation is such a useful tool to help couples divide their assets and help them decide whether or not they are ready to end their marriage. It's a method to explore when thinking about the need for assistance from a neutral third party looking to help both parties divorce with dignity or even reconcile with a to-do list and time frame.