Jax: I Regret Sleeping with Kristen
Jax reflects on finally feeling remorse for his betrayal, his fight with Tom, and his never-ending love for Stassi
To be honest, I wasn't nervous going to Scheana's engagement party. Everything was OK. But with Tom, it escalated. I gave Tom ample opportunity to approach me. We went out in the parking lot, I talked to him at the beach -- I obviously told him what happened. When he hit me, I didn’t know that was coming. To be honest, I was shocked. He waited until I was around all these girls. He could have hit Scheana -- or anybody else. It wasn’t really appropriate. I get it, he was mad, I would have hit me, too. That’s not what I was mad about. I was mad about how he approached the situation. There's girls around, you know? We were out in the parking lot, we’re men, we cold have handled it like men, instead of in front of girls, in Lisa’s restaurant. We didn’t need to do that here.
I didn't think Kristen would finally admit everything. I know I'm called a liar, but Kristen lies. She's been crying wolf for so long saying, "I'm done with this relationship, I'm done, I'm done." Here's your way out -- be honest. All she had to do was say it. At first she said it only happened once. I mean, if it happened once or 60 times it doesn't matter, it happened.
I think they got into one of those situations where you've invested in a relationship for so long -- you share bills, you share things -- it was probably easier to stay together. It's a lot of work to break up. I know that’s not an excuse, and that’s not one I would use. I could never live in their lifestyle. They were never happy in their whole five years together. I've known them their whole relationship. I've known them for 10 years, both of them. They were miserable the whole time. They can tell you till they are blue in the face they were happy; they weren't. I don't understand how you can be in a relationship when you're just constantly fighting and miserable.
It's terrible because I show no remorse about it at all, but it didn’t really hit me until now. I watched the show, and I really looked at it and thought, "Wow, that is a sh--ty thing that I did." I was a really bad friend. There’s no excuse for what I did.
I was surprised that Lisa was so mad at me. Lisa seems so strong, and it doesn’t seem like anything bothers her. But things do. She used to come to me and be like "How do you not get affected?" So I was thinking, "Whoa, am I that cold-hearted?" I don’t know, it just didn’t affect me right away. It took a while. Now I look back on it and think that was a sh--ty thing for me to do. Am I remorseful? Yes, of course. I’m a human being. It took a while for it to affect me. I was very selfish.
You have to remember, too, I was so wrapped up in Stassi then. I would do whatever it took to get back with her. I didn’t care who I hurt or what I did. Whatever made me feel good at the time, I was going to do. Even if it was sleep with my friend’s girlfriend. Stassi was going back with Frank that week, Kristen and Tom were fighting. Tom called me up asking if I could come and take Kristen. We were both in a bad place. Kristen was at rock bottom, I was at rock bottom. We just cared about ourselves. It wasn't a passionate thing, it wasn’t like "Oh my God, I love you." There was no kissing involved. It was strictly what it was, it was a hook-up. We were both just really upset with our lives. And that's what it was. Nothing more.
Do I regret it? Absolutely, I wish it would have never happened. I'm not saying this is a good thing, but Tom's a lot happier now. He seems happy. I'm not saying I'm glad that I did this because now look what happened, but he's a different person. It's like, wow, who is this guy? And that’s good. I’m glad.
At that point I had kind of given up on getting back together with Stassi. I will always love Stassi, but we’re obviously just not meant to be together. We’re getting to the point where we can actually talk again and be civil. If I see her in a room we can talk and be pleasant. Where everything stands right now, I just want to stay out of everyone's business. And now, I'm going to play things a little differently. I'm always be around and I'll always add my tidbit in, but I'm not gonna do some of the sh--ty things that I did. I'm going to actually think about what I do before I do it.