Cast Blog: #PUMPRULES

Stassi Beat a Horse That Was Already Dead

Jax explains his "un-game," why he wasn't revenge dating, and if he really is a sex addict.

When I think about how Stassi was acting at this point, she was being so hypocritical. She was telling me to move on and all this stuff, yet she was mad about the girl I hooked up with before Pride. I didn't throw it in her face. Katie found out that I had a "guy night" and she brought it up on the float. I want to get it straight, I didn't just go "Oh, hey look what I did I hooked up with this girl." I wouldn't do something like that. I'm just honest, and I'm not gonna lie about what happened.

It wasn't "revenge dating," as Lisa called it. I was just so over chasing after Stassi. I was depressed all the time. For you to tell me what kind fun I can have. . . I’m not going to let one girl run my life. So I just said to Ben and Dave, "Let's do a guy’s night out. Go have some fun and let everything loose." I didn’t even date this ballerina girl. I just went out to a bar, had some fun, met some girls there, something happened, whatever.

I did go on a date with Paige though. We actually met her at SUR. She came in and she was with another girlfriend of mine. They came in for drinks one night and we just got to talking at the bar. We actually went out a couple of times. The whole situation was fun, but it didn't really work out with her. I think at that time I was reaching for something that wasn't really there. Maybe the Paige situation could have been a little of the revenge dating. Maybe not revenge, more like "I think I should have a girlfriend, let me get one." I just wanted to be with somebody. I was just like "Oh, I’ll just pick her."

I don’t have any game. I'm terrible going to bars and picking up girls. I get so embarrassed when other people do it, and I'm around it all the time being at SUR. It's absolutely ridiculous. I just don't have that mentality to go up to a girl, so I just kind of let my friends do it. Then I'll walk in and kind of chime in on the conversation or let the girl come to me. That's usually how it works with me. Not to sound cocky or anything, that's just always the way it's worked with me.

When Stassi told me she was ready to quit the restaurant because of me, I was just hurt. She was beating a horse that was already dead. I really thought she was just making it more than it really is. Basically it was just heartbreaking. We had been through a three-year relationship and a year of me trying to make things work. And then we get to a point where she has to quit her job because she thinks I'm bothering her? I'm not the type of person that bothers people. Then I realized that that’s not what I wanted. The last thing I wanted was for her quit because I wouldn’t leave her alone. I mean, did it really come to that? 

I went to therapy because the last time helped me out a lot. I was reaching for some kind of answers, and I was not really getting any progress with talking to my friends. My therapist really does a great job. After I see her, things are a little bit easier. She’s really amazing and ended up being a great resource for me. She hears me out and I could be totally honest with her.

As far as me being a sex addict, I feel like there is some basis there. Do I have a problem with it? Right now, it's under control. Do I think about it more than I should? Probably, yes. Do I like it? Absolutely. If you’re looking for an answer whether yes or no do I have a problem. . .probably yes. I feel like it’s not taking over my life, but it’s definitely an issue.

I think she was 100 percent right that I shouldn't have been dating then. But I just didn’t want to hear that. Being on my own was probably the best thing for me at the time. My thing is that I was really co-dependent. For years, I was jumping from girlfriend-to-girlfriend and being on my own was probably the best advice she gave me.

I heard the rumors that started popping out because Katie got drunk and she started running her mouth at Peter's birthday. At that time I was expecting Katie to talk out of her ass because that’s what she does all the time. She gets wasted and then tears people down.

I just wish Kristen would let the Tom/Ariana rumors go. She was on and on-and-on about it. I’m pulling her aside and I’m saying, “Kristen, let it go. Let it go. If it did happen, fine. You’re no angel.”

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Ariana: Tom and I Have Reached Our Boiling Points

Ariana is more convinced than ever that the Miami affair didn't happen.

Right off the bat, I want to get something out of the way: I’m not the smartest person I've ever met in my life (I’ve also never technically "met" myself, so that choice of words is hilarious.). I didn't mean that seriously; I let my frustrations get to me, and I lashed out. There are much better and more clear ways to express my point of view without sounding like a total ---hole. Smooth move, Ferguson.


That being said, when you live your life amid second and third-hand rumors and lies, it's hard to have an objective point of view. Watching conversations that I wasn't present for gives me a much clearer perspective…it’s an out-of-body experience.


Let's be clear: Jax didn't "crack," "reveal," or "admit" anything. He never made a choice between being loyal and being honest, because he has never been either of those things (and I doubt even knows the definition of those words). I was so frustrated that people were interested in the “story” and the gossip and were so desperate for it to be true that they weren't paying attention to the fact that NONE of it made any sense!


Every single time that someone attempts to perpetuate this story about Tom, their story changes, without fail. Each person involved has their own reasons for doing so. While neither Tom nor I have anything to actually worry about, both of us reached our boiling points due to the relentlessness with which this has been brought up. We’ve always told the truth, but because it’s not interesting, people jumped at the chance to buy into the bullsh--. I mean, there are people who still believe that our relationship started as an affair. I don’t have to go on a ridiculous crusade to "clear my name" and then act as though I've been a martyr to truth. But if that’s what helps someone sleep better at night? Hopefully a good night's rest will help them be a better human.


I've been told that I'm pretending to be someone I'm not, that I'm fake, because I'm not interested in petty drama, or because Tom and I don't feel the need to hide our happiness. I've been told I'm shady and mean, because I'm not nice 100% of the time, but when I am, I get called a doormat. Guess what? I’m a three-dimensional human being, like the rest of the world. I’ve got issues: I’m not forthright with my feelings, I have crippling anxiety, cellulite, and my hair always refuses to part where I want. But while I may not be nice 25/8, I try not to be rude to anyone who doesn't deserve it.


2014 was the best year of my life in so many ways, exacerbated by the fact that my 2013 was full of tragedy, struggle, and pain. Tom has always been a good friend to me, and I feel so incredibly grateful for the life we have together. I am so proud of him and proud to be his partner and teammate. Tom always has my back, and I will always have his.
The bottom line is that some people will love you, some people will hate you, but most people don't care either way. I'm doing the very best I can, and that's all I can do. Gossip, rumors, and a flair for the dramatic rank very low on my list of priorities. I'm so thankful for the people who have always been there for me. It's such a great feeling to know that there are wonderful and kind people in this world. I'm truly lucky to know so many.


True love is real. Onward and upward. Live long and prosper. In case I don't see you: good afternoon, good evening, and good night.

 

 

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