Katie Regrets Going to "The Dark Side"

The thought of getting a bikini wax has always been borderline paralyzing to me. As much as I want the end result, the process has always frightened me. I have only heard how painful it is, and the thought of someone besides my gynecologist getting that up close and personal is entirely unorthodox to me.

But, since I had a vet and friend to come and support me I decided I was of ripe age to finally take the plunge. What I discovered was that all my fear and preconceived notions were true! It hurts like hell, it was uncomfortable having a stranger rip the hair from my lady bits. I wasn't made a believer of this whole thing. Yes, it felt nice afterwards, but I just can't see this ever becoming a regular thing for me.

OK, I will start by saying this, hindsight is always 20/20. However, I (soberly) stand behind my opinion that offering a lapdance to a male friend on his birthday is not the most classy gesture. How it came out that night was not of sound mind and void of eloquence. I don't know why I harped on the whole "practically engaged" argument because that isn't what it's about. Scheana did it and I couldn't understand why. It just seemed so inappropriate and unnecessary. We were all there for Peter and to celebrate him, tacking on a lapdance was just overboard. It's simply a case of Katie is drunk and not rationalizing the situation, so let's just leave it alone.

I really hate the whole "Katie says what she really thinks when she is drunk". . .No! Katie says whatever comes to her mind when she is drunk and if you upset her it's going to just be mean s---. It's a cheap defense mechanism. In the moment that is how I felt, but everyone needs to calm down and remember that you don't take the person who isn't of sound mind too seriously. I hardly made sense and my emotions were running high -- and my logic was running at an all time low. I felt like I was right, and I was defending that. I fully realize and recognize I was being an a--hole just to be an a--hole. It's not cool and I don't think it's okay, but it is what it is.

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I wasn't mad that Stassi didn't jump in to defend me. Again, I wasn't entirely aware of what was happening around me. Stassi knows me and could recognize that I was just drunk and not making sense and that I was just arguing with Scheana because she was patronizing me. It was an argument not worth pursuing because it reached a point of ridiculousness that can't be defended. She tried diffusing it, but she was right -- getting involved would only have made it worse. But I was never mad and am still not mad today. I would have done the same thing if I were in her position.

Schwartz apologizing on my behalf was frustrating. I felt like he could have just said, "Look Scheana don't take it seriously, she is just drunk and having word vomit. She doesn't mean it." That would have been a correct response to what was happening. I tell him that he doesn't need to "agree" with my argument, but at least try and salvage me by not perpetuating it.

Truthfully, we all have that threshold that we pass and enter into "drunk zone" where we lash out and say hurtful things. It's not fair to make it seem like every time I have a drink this is the result.

The next day was AWFUL. I have never felt more hungover and sleep deprived. On top of that, I was very unaware of all the details of the night before. I was aware that things went very badly, but I couldn't understand how or why. Again, this was a very big lesson learned on my part about drinking responsibly and not going to "the dark side."

I felt extremely guilty of the things I said and did. I felt like I had woken up from a nightmare, but it was true. Realizing how much I hurt and affected my friends because I drank too much was a very hard pill to swallow. It was important to me to face the girls and hear the accounts of everything and apologizing. I just found myself in complete anguish because what I did and said was so out of line and uncharacteristic of me.

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