Tom Discounted My Feelings
Katie explains why she was so upset with Tom and what she felt when she got a beer poured on her head.
I was well aware that Stassi had invited Scheana to Cabo months earlier when we were all getting along. In the weeks leading up to Stassi's birthday and Cabo, things between us and Scheana turned really ugly. I was personally very surprised Scheana still wanted to come. Why would anyone want to take a vacation with people they think are evil and don't want to be friends with? It's all very counterintuitive. Had it been me, I would have graciously declined the invitation for obvious reasons. We are were so excited, but the idea of Scheana tagging along was like a little grey cloud.
The trip started off exactly as I expected. Plenty of awkwardness with Scheana there. I thought maybe for her on good she would make some effort to try and smooth things over --but she did the opposite by strongly opposing hanging out with half of the group there. I possibly could have done without Jax filling us in on the details of their ride with Scheana.
It was already very clear what was happening and the semantics made it worse. Maybe Jax was looking out, but it certainly drummed up more drama. Our attitude was simply, if she can't stand to be around us why did she bothering coming.My dilemma with my Tom buying Scheana a drink was that he is my boyfriend. I don't need him to fight my battles or be rude to anyone just because I have an issue. However, being that I am his girlfriend, he should have my back in a way that maintains his own agenda but also respects me. He knew how uncomfortable it was for me being at Pink Kitty with Scheana there.
The reason I got so upset was because I felt that he was more concerned with Scheana's comfort rather than my own. Tom is everyone's friend. He is so eager to please everyone and make them happy or keep them laughing -- but he fails to ensure the comfort of his own girlfriend AT TIMES. This scenario had played out in the past, and I had tried to explain my feelings to Tom. The night at Pink Kitty I think it just all came to a head. I grew even more upset when it escalated into a fight on the street, resulting in getting a beer poured over me by my own boyfriend. I was humiliated in front of my friends and everyone else who witnessed it.
I was in complete shock when Tom poured a drink on my head. I couldn't believe our fight had gotten that out of control. Had I been drinking? Yes. Was I wasted? No. I was of much more of sound mind than Tom. He said that he thought I was going to pour his beer on him, which is not true. I did try to knock it out of his hand though. I hate having to relive this moment in my head. It's completely uncharacteristic of Tom and I and felt destroyed.
Tom is generally an extremely laid back guy. He is very non confrontational and always makes light of situations. This is a quality I love about him, but at times it also frustrates me. I think he forgets that I am a very emotional being, and I don't like when he makes light of a situation that has me very upset. I am entitled to feel however I feel about a matter, and for him to not show compassion towards me is very hurtful. It is as if my feelings are irrelevant or don't matter. It is a learning curve for us. I recognize that our relationship isn't perfect, but we work at it and grow together through times like this.
I was extremely upset and angry when we got back to the hotel. All the girls were in high spirits and having fun, and I was like this wet blanket. I was so happy that I made the decision to go skinny dipping. It pulled me out of my funk and being with my best friends was exactly what I needed.
I knew when I saw Schwartz the next day that he was going to try and sweep it under the rug. I was still upset and angry though. He started defending his actions as if it were my fault and that I had caused him to react the way he did. I can account for my contribution to the fight, but ultimately I wanted a sincere apology. I didn't feel he was willing to take any responsibility.
I know how Stassi is about her birthday and I didn't want to be the one who spoiled it. I was certainly still dealing with my feelings and thoughts and had yet to have a conversation with Schwartz. Even though it was Stassi's birthday, I did appreciate the sympathy from her.
My intentions were to suck it up for the night and celebrate Stassi's birthday with everyone regardless of how I was feeling. Of course, Scheana had to bring it up at the table. I found it so inappropriate of her to do so. First of all, it is none of her business. It should not have been the topic of anyone conversation at that table. Of course, once everyone is talking about it. I got upset. Then Schwartz, tries to dissolve it, which in turn made me feel worse. Schwartz telling me to"get over it" broke me. Again, MY feelings were discounted.
When Schwartz and I began bickering at the table, everyone started to gang up on me. I couldn't control my emotions though. I realize I was spoiling the evening, but clearly I wasn't able to control myself. I could have used some sympathy from my friends.
I know Schwartz didn't mean it when he said i was making him miserable. He didn't want to talk or fight about it and he got frustrated. Everyone at the table was screaming at me and I knew I just had to go.