Kristen Doute

Kristen reflects on her emotional fight with Tom, and how his breakdown helped heal their broken relationship.

on Nov 14, 2013

Here's a little inside scoop about the mind of TSandy: he's all or nothing. He's very ADD and a little OCD, so when he has his mind set on something, everything else disappears. He has the attention span of a housefly. During this time, his band was his life. I'm all about giving 110 percent, but he wasn't giving anything to his priorities and responsibilities. I went from girlfriend to personal assistant/maid. If I had started going out ‘til 5 am every night, he would have raised hell, too.

Seeing Tom cry literally broke my heart. But, at the same time I was finally getting emotion out of him. Like, yes, dammit, now he knew the frustrations I'd been feeling! We walked away during the lunch and had a really amazing, heartfelt conversation. It was the first we had had in so many months. I'm not proud of the way I acted the night before, but if that's what it took to get him to respond, at least we had that crucial breakthrough. It turned our whole weekend around.

Did you see how truly stoked Tom was on that stage!?! Confident, passionate, blissful. I couldn't have been more proud or more attracted to him in that moment. It took me back to when we first met. For him I will proudly wear the groupie badge because it means I get to have sex with the lead guitar player. Support local music, sleep with a musician. (As long as it isn't someone's boyfriend.)