Kristen Doute

Kristen discusses confronting Dani at the SURlesque bash, the Tom and Ariana rumors, and her glam mug shot.  

on Dec 9, 20130

Stassi did not come over to "style" me. She came over so that we could get ready together for our passport photos. She gave herself a little too much credit. I was pretty stoked to finally get my passport. I felt so sheltered! I have been to Canada a million times, but only the birth certificate was required way back when. I knew that as soon as I got it, I would start traveling and Cabo would be the perfect destination to receive my first stamp.

Insert foot in mouth. . .I was not bragging about my mugshot, but I had to make light of the situation. I got a DUI years ago, but was not "booked." I had to go back months later to get fingerprinted and have my photo taken, so damn right I was going to walk in done up. Why not?

I was definitely upset with Stassi for attacking my relationship with Tom at lunch that day, but it wasn't an end all argument. I appreciate that she was just trying to look out for me, but I was really trying to live in the present moment with where Tom and I currently were. It was like finally he and I were back on track and happy -- I didn't want to let the rumor mill at SUR ruin that. I felt that if I wasn't concerned, my friends should just be happy for me.

31 comments
Glimmer88
Glimmer88

Kristen--I really cannot stand watching your behavior on the show, but I will tell you this---get back in school and get some direction in your life.  You don't have to go get a four year degree---that can be too overwhelming to take on.  Get an associate degree and a skill--something you will always have and can get a job anywhere---like x ray school or respiratory therapy or something like that. You won't get rich doing that, but it's a steady decent income for sure and you can be done with one of those programs in less than two years.  Do you really want to work at Sur the rest of your life?  If you got back in school and had some goals and dreams you would feel so much better about yourself.  That would in turn be positive for your relationship.  I think your self esteem is probably the main issue here, or at least a huge part of it.  I guarantee you Tom is really gonna get sick of the desperate person you have become, and girls like Ariana who are smart, chill, and NOT neurotic will look more and more appealing..  If you want to keep him, you have to change for the better.  Otherwise you and Tom are doomed. 

tilmont
tilmont

I'm sorry to tell you this but you have to get out of this relationship. By the time I post this, maybe you already are out of it.

 

You are both very likable people, just not together.  Once a person has cheated, it's over.  The distrust is too overwhelming.

 

The way I see it, Tom (and you) have already tried to splash out on the internets to make yourselves more relevant separately.  

 

Hope it works out for both of you.  I like you both, just not together.

 

tamarahope
tamarahope

Kristen, I totally agree w/you, you don't need Stassi to "style' you! You are a very pretty girl I think better than Stassi  in many ways. You need to keep her out of your relationship w/Tom how can she give you advice when she screwed up her relationship w/Jax? Better of without her help! Stop looking for smoke w/Tom & just enjoy him. All your doing is causing trouble where there isn't any.

gaw123
gaw123

You are ridiculous!! Grow up, kick him to the curb, quit whining, 5 years is nothing. I have been with my husband 30 years and if he ever cheated on me I would leave his ass so fast. No one should be with a cheater.  :) js

Mahoot
Mahoot

Here is some advice from a great grandma who has lived and learned a lot. When a guy cheats on you it is time for you to walk! Life is about choices and knowing your worth! I had a husband tell me the first time he hit me and the first time he cheated on me was the hardest but because I allowed it the next time was easier then each time following was even easier. I found my worth and my life changed! I told any guy lift a finger at me or cheat on me and I am out of here before you blink. I had choices and I choose to never been treated badly again. If you ever have a guy and find yourself checking their emails, clothes or texts you have a trust issue, its time to invoke your choice. Do you really want to waste anymore time on someone you don't trust? Live is too short to waste years. I also placed a few rules on myself to actually keep me sane lol if I saw a guy and wanted him I RAN away for I would repeat the past mothering issues. So, on any first date I told the guy I don't do dishes, I don't cook, I don't clean and I don't do laundry! I do what I want to do when I want to do it and I have a lot of fun, so if you can hang with that dude we can have a great time and I can curl your toes BUT we only have two years to figure out if we want to be together. Now that made 99.9% of the guys go hell NO and I was happy. Then one day the guy said cool I don't want you messing with my stuff LOL we have together 20 years now, I also told at the 2 years mark either its marriage or so long, he didn't believe me until he came home and I had moved out ... Choices I keep my word! It took him 2 weeks to hunt me down and beg me to marry him. He is my best friend, I trust him completely even when my work took me 659 miles from home for 2 years I never worried that he would cheat on me. You see he knows exactly what I will do and its his choice on how to act. 

I also learned to never ask questions you really don't want to know the answer to! Like did you cheat on me? Well now you have to react, if he cheated on me I would leave ASAP. I appreciated it a few years after I got back home he told me you know I never cheated on you and I told him Thank You and I never cheated on him. So figure out your worth, figure out what you are willing to put up with and what you do if that line is crossed. Knowing the path will make your life so much easier, just keep honest with yourself and don't be scared to walk away from suffering. Also if you stay then you have no right to whine about it! Put up or shut up. Watching you throw that into his face was disgusting for you stayed with him you got no right to sling mud or whine. Also remember when your boyfriend/husband cheats on you don't assume the other woman is  slut/whore. remember she was not in a relationship with you and men usually don't tell the truth at times like these, be mad at him indeed he broke the commitment but forget about the other woman for she was just an moment. Place the blame where it belongs.

You are a beautiful young lady, find your worth and take on the world! I hope the best for you in love and life.

bobbihall1
bobbihall1

You are out of your mind and should seek serious help immediately.  A partner should never cheat, but it happened and you decided to forgive him.  You need to figure out how you can move on and create a move positive environment for yourself.  In the meantime, you are acting, sounding and looking like a complete maniac.  It is not attractive or becoming at all.  You should be embarrassed. 

LaurenRay650
LaurenRay650

You don't deserve to be with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself and you cannot fully trust. You may never be able to get over his betrayal and that is just a fact. I do think he seems like a good guy who made a big mistake, but that mistake may have broken your relationship past the point of repair, and you just both have to move on. I wish the best for you both. 

falina_c
falina_c

Wow, your scenes are just plain unbearable to watch.  You would do well with some serious counseling because you have no self esteem, are extremely insecure and immature.  I cannot believe you are THIRTY.  Get some help because you are ridiculous.  Your relationship with Tom is done, honey.  Never in my 17 year relationship have I ever gone through my husbands phone or emails, nor have I ever felt the need to.  Time to let go of that toxic relationship Kristen, because you cannot be truly loved until you start to love and feel secure in YOURSELF!  The way you behave towards Tom will only succeed in driving him right into the arms of another woman....(as it already has)

susielyn56
susielyn56

You are the emotional equivalent of a 12 year old. All you do is whine. You wont be happy until Tom tells you he and Ariana had sex, whether they did or didn't. Grow up. You act ridiculous.  

Latto
Latto

Tom is just friends with Ariana !! Until you find out any differently leave it alone. You are driving out of your life. Is that what you really want??? You really need to think about it. 

Either get over it or move on. Don't listen to Stassi. She is the most miserable person on the show and wants everyone to be miserable with her. She is evil and is not your friend. She thinks she is better than the rest of you girls. She would love for you to breakup with Tom. Who is she??? She is an ugly, evil, arrogant, self absorbed bitch that doesn't want anyone to be happy. Get away from her. Stop nagging Tom --you, yourself are going to drive him to seek other girls. Show him some affection and it will gain you a lot of affection in return. Grow up Kristen--Get away from the negative girls at Sur. Your 30 years old --Act like it. Treat Scheana like a human being. Try being nice you might like it !!!!

9judgenot
9judgenot

Girl, stop taking advice on how to deal with the Tom situation from your so-called girl-friends, especially Stassi, What does her non-relationship show you.  She doesn't have a clue.

 

kalikasita1988
kalikasita1988

"Tender YOURSELF more dear" or  you will rue it- you are "Love sick" and it isn't real -it is controlling your thoughts and actions- your young still- take your life and run with it. Snap out of it- it is an illusion and it will waste your time

kalikasita1988
kalikasita1988

Do not waste your youth and your life on a man who will only let you down. He will drive you crazy and you will never get his cheating out of your head, ever. And just because you only found out about one girl doesnt mean that was the first time, it never is. The same with the golddigging Jax- he will always cheat too. Get away from your "boyfriend" while you can- it will not end well and you will waste your life on a man who will never deserve it. "Tender yourself more dear"

wingsuitphan
wingsuitphan

I cannot believe the way you, and your "friends," carry yourselves on this show. I can't believe I watch it. Lulz. Anyway, you owe it to yourself to find some maturity, confidence, and self respect. You are 30 years old for gods sake. Reflect on your love and friendships. Real true friends will lift you up and support you at all times. Not strive to knock you down. And I'm sure you love Tom, but there comes a time when you need to step outside of yourself and question what your true intentions are within a relationship and whether or not those intentions allow for growth and happiness, or misery and self torture. Can you really live an entire life without trusting this person? Don't be afraid of yourself, or being by yourself - it what allows for personal growth and strength. It's only your own time your wasting in your unhappiness. Good luck to you.

Sevensamurai
Sevensamurai

Kristen, I just watched the episode w/ gay parade. I have a hot boyfriend in entertainment industry who lies and gets hit on all the time. We've been together for 8 years. Everyday is a lesson. I have never wrote a post on TV show before, but here's my thoughts..1. You have hottest body on show! 2. Tom is hot, girls and guys will always try to get with that, it's natural and it's natural for him to be flattered. Take this as a complement, not a threat. 3. It's better not to know. Searching only brings truths and lies up. Nix both. It's the only way not to drive yourself crazy. Why, cause if you confront him..no matter what he says you will doubt, unless it's something horrible. Stop looking for the horrible. 4. All he wants is to feel appreciated and loved. You have his heart, give him that..make him feel special like the night after his concert..you were proud of him and you see the reward you got, he made you feel loved and special bad you didn't have to do anything, just like him. Guys are simple like that. 5. It's a struggle every day, but you two are so cute together..just focus on what you can do for him and he will naturally start doing the same..it's a hard risk, like taking a leap of faith, but that is what love is. 6. Never say anything bad about him to anyone!! Ever!! Unless you joke about it. Don't fuel fire. 7. Remember your hot! 30 and legs like That!! Shit girl! Good luck

Monababy
Monababy

Kristen, if you want to forgive your boyfriend, that is up to you!  It takes time to heal from what he did to you but, do not torture yourself by being an investigator because you are just creating issues out of nothing.  I have been there.  Dont ever spy on your boyfriend and start realizing and accepting that you are worth keeping and that if he does cheat on you again, you will never forgive him again and just make sure you are strong enough and ready to be single.   You will start enjoying him and your life much more. 

 

Lastly...Stassi is a very bad influence on you and anyone she encounters.  Can you think of any time that she actually compliments you or anyone?  NO!  she is a miserable, depressing, stuck up, misguided demonic snob!  Get a back bone and live your life without this negative presence or, do you enjoy the punishments she so joyfully ensues upon you?  Let this ring inside your head over and over and over "just go, just go!" Like Tom, do not let her treat you poorly and if she does, walk away until she can realize what a wonderful friend you are to her. 

nvt
nvt

You really should consider counseling of some sort. You come off as desperate and off balance. You can't live your life in "Sherlock Holmes" mode. Attacking every woman Tom encounters must be tiring. Stassi has no healthy relationships to hold as an example. Why do all of you take advice and orders from the most disliked person on Bravo?

amy.m.fudge
amy.m.fudge

You need to stop feeling so insecure and love Tom and get over it!

trecia3
trecia3

Kristen Get a life with out Tom. I was in the same thing that ur are in. I believed him when he said the girl working with him was a friend and only a friend. 6 months latter after I hired a private investigator I found out my ex was fu**king his good friend. I hope u dump his ass and if u don't then what ever he does to u is ur own fault..

BSquared2
BSquared2

U seem to lack self-esteem. Every move or decision at some point seems to be decided via Stassi and her dye job sidekick. Neither of which have your best interest at heart. They both tear you down to make them feel better about themselves. It amazes me that you can't see that these heffas aren't your friends. The argument tonight with your boyfriend was totally fueled by your "friends" saying you should confront the new girl. And of course if Stassi says jump off a roof.....Now look at where your situation is now. And trust, your situation is just more fodder for Stassi and non relevant sidekick to amuse themselves with behind your back. Get a frikking backbone!

mh611_rhobh
mh611_rhobh

@stassischroeder was styling @kristendoute for her passport? Your passport is just a headshot.  You don't need a full blown outfit. Wow. 

 

TinyLove
TinyLove

Kristen, if you don't want people talking/getting in your business, then don't talk about it to friends/co workers. I'm ten years younger than you, and my bf and I have a rule that we both agree on, we don't talk about the bad stuff in our relationship to other people, not because it's embarrassing ,but because when you talk about all the bad stuff in your relationship and you finally make up with your boyfriend, the people you talked to about the troubles in your relationship don't see the make up part between you two. Talk to a therapist or your parents. You need to grow up. If I was you I'd get an education, leave SUR, and move on with life.  You are getting mad at everyone for putting their nose in your business,but you and Tom are putting it out there. I bet you'd people a lot more happier if you dropped Stassi for good.  This is just my take on things.  

shysharon
shysharon

is this about last week? I had nothing else to think about all week except you and Tom, so here's my 2 cents...there's another show tonight, I suggest you post your comments tonight or tomorrow, if you want people to respond.

RoseWilde
RoseWilde

It's hard to find you interesting. It seems like you have no self respect. 

NWkeepsitreal
NWkeepsitreal

 @wingsuitphan Good job wingsuitphan, you said everything that I was going to type!

Kristen move on! OMG, it's painful to watch your relationship on this show. Not sure how much more I can watch, you all act like spoiled, entitled brats. Grow up already. I used to work in catering for years in SF & I just can't believe you guys didn't know to do tear down & clean up after the party at Kyle's. Who are you people? Who taught you to "work" because you are all so bad & ungrateful. You'd of been so fired after your behavior at work & to Lisa. She's way to nice to you all. 

gaw123
gaw123

 @Sevensamurai If your boyfriend lies, he will always lie. Why would you want to be with a liar?? A liar is also a cheater. If he is lieing to you, you can bet he is also cheating.....both of you need to wake up and realize your worth more than being cheated on and lied to. 

falina_c
falina_c

 @TinyLove You could have just stopped at "talk to a therapist.  At this rate, Lisa should have one on staff, with this childish crew!

janiesgotagun
janiesgotagun

 @RoseWilde guess she was interesting enough for you to read her blog then post something though....

falina_c
falina_c

 @RoseWilde Or self esteem.  Or personality.  Or.....  You are pathetically immature and deeply unlikable.