Kristen--I really cannot stand watching your behavior on the show, but I will tell you this---get back in school and get some direction in your life. You don't have to go get a four year degree---that can be too overwhelming to take on. Get an associate degree and a skill--something you will always have and can get a job anywhere---like x ray school or respiratory therapy or something like that. You won't get rich doing that, but it's a steady decent income for sure and you can be done with one of those programs in less than two years. Do you really want to work at Sur the rest of your life? If you got back in school and had some goals and dreams you would feel so much better about yourself. That would in turn be positive for your relationship. I think your self esteem is probably the main issue here, or at least a huge part of it. I guarantee you Tom is really gonna get sick of the desperate person you have become, and girls like Ariana who are smart, chill, and NOT neurotic will look more and more appealing.. If you want to keep him, you have to change for the better. Otherwise you and Tom are doomed.