Katie on the Dark Side

Tom wonders why Katie got involved in his relationship and explains why he's fighthing for his future with Kristen.

I was really stoked to play Lake Arrowhead and especially to open up for Martha Davis. My band, Pierce the Arrow, started with the singer Brayden as an acoustic act. After having just left my previous band InVictory, I joined up with Brayden with the intention of taking some of his songs along with our own and creating a much bigger sound.  We quickly went from us to a full five person group.

In the short time we have been a band we have played most of the Sunset Strip and a few small festivals, most of the time opening up with other up-and-coming acts. The reason opening up for Martha Davis and the Motels was so important and big for us is because it opens the doors to open up for her in future shows, as well as getting exposing us to a broader audience.

I can tell you that creating a band and trying to get it to the next level takes a colossal amount of work and time. Five members means five schedules, five sets of equipment, five pinions, and also five liabilities. There is so much prep and moving parts that go into a live band performance that if one of my 10 pedals fail or a single power cord is forgotten it can stop a performance in its tracks. We don't have roadies or techs, so everything is on us, and mainly on Brayden and I.

The amount of time and energy that goes into these big performances and a band puts so much stress on relationships. Kristen sometimes refers to my band as "my other girlfriend," and in someways maybe I agree with her. I will say that it is such an unbelievable high when all your hard work pays off -- because you rocked the house, everything came together, and your audience is going crazy and giving you so much love! I would say for me it's more of an addiction. . .Haha!

It seems a little hypocritical for Jax to tell me to break up with Kristen when he just got his ex-girl's name tattooed on his arm and is getting shot down (even more so than me). I was fighting for a relationship that I was STILL IN. Not like Jax, who was stuck in the past and groveling for scraps like a pathetic dog from someone who doesn't give a s---.

Also, deep down, I know Jax well enough to know that part of his motivation for getting Stassi back was just wanting something he can't have. Versus my situation, where I just wanted for Kristen and I to find our happiness again in our relationship and find the love that deep down was still very much there.

I felt it was pretty typical for Katie to put her sassy two cents in. I often refer to her as "the relationship police," and when she's drunk it can be an overall nightmare (like all the mean things she said to Scheana at her birthday party). "Katie going to the dark side" is what most of us call it when she crosses that threshold when drinking. I can promise you that if the positions were reversed, she would have no qualms with busting in my room to not talk but actually yell at Schwartz.

I went into the room because I wanted to TALK to MY girlfriend, not get yelled at by Katie or to have to justify anything to Katie. I should've known that if I got into any argument with her she would say the most hurtful thing she could to me. It's pretty typical when she's at that point. I should've just known not to walk in the lion's den. I probably should have just gone to bed and not went to confront Kristen about rejecting my kiss goodnight, but I was so hurt and stressed and had pretty much had my fill of Katie telling Kristen to break up with me. I didn't know how I would actually be able to sleep in that state of mind, and right then I couldn't afford to be stressing out about my relationship. What a nightmare. . .

The last thing I ever wanted to do at lunch was break down in front of everyone. One of my biggest shows yet is just hours away and the blows finally got to me. What actually disturbs me the most about what happened at lunch was the way Stassi found humor in watching me lose all my pride and crumble. For someone who threw constant public temper tantrums and cried all the time during her and Jax's relationship to act that way was truly appalling. . .Did you trade your conscience for a handbag or something? And sorry to say, but nobody at the table agreed with you except maybe Katie -- but that doesn't count because sometimes I think Katie will agree with anything you think or say.

It had been months of being told to go f--- another girl in Vegas with loads of passive-aggressive remarks and flat-out aggressive remarks made to me by Kristen (with Katie and Stassi always ready to chime in). It was always one embarrassing social bashing after another. My pride finally gave way. I stopped being embarrassed and just felt horribly sad. And the reason was because I knew that deep deep down, underneath all the anger and animosity was a Kristen who was still very very much in love with me. I knew it as sure as I know the earth is round and THAT is exactly why I never gave up! It's not because we had been together so long! And if it took me breaking down and hitting emotional bottom for Kristen to finally start to connect with me, then fine! So be it! They say moments of your life flash before your eyes just before you die. Well, later that night watching Martha perform "Only the Lonely" with Kristen and I holding each other, in each other's arms, back in love again. . .well it's safe to say THAT moment will definitely be one of those moments that flash.

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Ariana: Tom and I Have Reached Our Boiling Points

Ariana is more convinced than ever that the Miami affair didn't happen.

Right off the bat, I want to get something out of the way: I’m not the smartest person I've ever met in my life (I’ve also never technically "met" myself, so that choice of words is hilarious.). I didn't mean that seriously; I let my frustrations get to me, and I lashed out. There are much better and more clear ways to express my point of view without sounding like a total ---hole. Smooth move, Ferguson.

That being said, when you live your life amid second and third-hand rumors and lies, it's hard to have an objective point of view. Watching conversations that I wasn't present for gives me a much clearer perspective…it’s an out-of-body experience.

Let's be clear: Jax didn't "crack," "reveal," or "admit" anything. He never made a choice between being loyal and being honest, because he has never been either of those things (and I doubt even knows the definition of those words). I was so frustrated that people were interested in the “story” and the gossip and were so desperate for it to be true that they weren't paying attention to the fact that NONE of it made any sense!

Every single time that someone attempts to perpetuate this story about Tom, their story changes, without fail. Each person involved has their own reasons for doing so. While neither Tom nor I have anything to actually worry about, both of us reached our boiling points due to the relentlessness with which this has been brought up. We’ve always told the truth, but because it’s not interesting, people jumped at the chance to buy into the bullsh--. I mean, there are people who still believe that our relationship started as an affair. I don’t have to go on a ridiculous crusade to "clear my name" and then act as though I've been a martyr to truth. But if that’s what helps someone sleep better at night? Hopefully a good night's rest will help them be a better human.

I've been told that I'm pretending to be someone I'm not, that I'm fake, because I'm not interested in petty drama, or because Tom and I don't feel the need to hide our happiness. I've been told I'm shady and mean, because I'm not nice 100% of the time, but when I am, I get called a doormat. Guess what? I’m a three-dimensional human being, like the rest of the world. I’ve got issues: I’m not forthright with my feelings, I have crippling anxiety, cellulite, and my hair always refuses to part where I want. But while I may not be nice 25/8, I try not to be rude to anyone who doesn't deserve it.

2014 was the best year of my life in so many ways, exacerbated by the fact that my 2013 was full of tragedy, struggle, and pain. Tom has always been a good friend to me, and I feel so incredibly grateful for the life we have together. I am so proud of him and proud to be his partner and teammate. Tom always has my back, and I will always have his.
The bottom line is that some people will love you, some people will hate you, but most people don't care either way. I'm doing the very best I can, and that's all I can do. Gossip, rumors, and a flair for the dramatic rank very low on my list of priorities. I'm so thankful for the people who have always been there for me. It's such a great feeling to know that there are wonderful and kind people in this world. I'm truly lucky to know so many.

True love is real. Onward and upward. Live long and prosper. In case I don't see you: good afternoon, good evening, and good night.



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