Tom Sandoval

Tom wonders why Katie got involved in his relationship and explains why he's fighthing for his future with Kristen.

on Nov 20, 20130

The last thing I ever wanted to do at lunch was break down in front of everyone. One of my biggest shows yet is just hours away and the blows finally got to me. What actually disturbs me the most about what happened at lunch was the way Stassi found humor in watching me lose all my pride and crumble. For someone who threw constant public temper tantrums and cried all the time during her and Jax's relationship to act that way was truly appalling. . .Did you trade your conscience for a handbag or something? And sorry to say, but nobody at the table agreed with you except maybe Katie -- but that doesn't count because sometimes I think Katie will agree with anything you think or say.

It had been months of being told to go f--- another girl in Vegas with loads of passive-aggressive remarks and flat-out aggressive remarks made to me by Kristen (with Katie and Stassi always ready to chime in). It was always one embarrassing social bashing after another. My pride finally gave way. I stopped being embarrassed and just felt horribly sad. And the reason was because I knew that deep deep down, underneath all the anger and animosity was a Kristen who was still very very much in love with me. I knew it as sure as I know the earth is round and THAT is exactly why I never gave up! It's not because we had been together so long! And if it took me breaking down and hitting emotional bottom for Kristen to finally start to connect with me, then fine! So be it! They say moments of your life flash before your eyes just before you die. Well, later that night watching Martha perform "Only the Lonely" with Kristen and I holding each other, in each other's arms, back in love again. . .well it's safe to say THAT moment will definitely be one of those moments that flash.

43 comments
Caramel96
Caramel96

Tom, how do you feel about Jax trying to through you under the bus. When he was talking to Stassi he tried to insinuate that you and Ariana had something going in but Stassi didn't believe him. Was he trying to turn the heat off of him and on to you. I think so.

louis1111
louis1111

Tom,

 

Of all the Gray Goose Lychee Nut Martini joints, in all the towns in all the world, she had to walk into yours. There's no denying it young man...there's chemistry going on there. The sparks were coming right through my new 60", 3D TV. These were the most entertaining moments on the show this week because they were so natural and easy. Not at all like the forced, uncomtorable "table putting together" fiasco last week when we didn't know if Kristen was going to knock your head off with a cocktail table leg. Plus you and Ariana together look like some hot French perfume TV ad. Who knows what will happen but for now seeing you and her behind that bar together is enough for me to stay tuned. Hot...very hot.

 

Alex

Cindy81
Cindy81

I love you and Kristen together!  I hope everything works out for you 2

 

That's was such a sweet and sincere blog.  I can't believe Stassi laughed when you broke down...she is such a loser...no wonder she can't keep a man because she is such an evil person

 

You need too tell Ariana to backoff ...you shouldn't be friends with someone that talks so badly about the women you say you love

 

Everyone makes mistakes...i hope Kristen can get passed all of this and you guys stay together!

grandmaforever
grandmaforever

get out..you and jax are to young to be dealing with such jealousy.go get a nice sweet girl.not someone unstable.life is to short!

Bernie-mate
Bernie-mate

Gosh Tom, can you just get rid of your girlfriend. She is so insecure and pathetic.

 

VintageVelvetSoul
VintageVelvetSoul

Tom, With the hurt and heartache that come's with making a "mistake", also come's the uphill climb back to being in a better position in the relationship, if you can get there at all....There is no question that an "outside influence" can make that "climb" even harder...I do hope that You and Kristen can find a "better place to inhabit " for Your relationship.....But it take's the both of you to get there....Your love seem's true that you have for her, I hope she can see this...As well, You need to be extremely patient with the "hurt that she is living in"....Hopefully she "won't live there long"...Here' to the two of you finding the true love in each other again.....

Margie.732
Margie.732

I'm confused. I thought Tom and Jax were friends.

I don't disagree with anything in the blog but wonder what has happened between then and now. Am I the only wondering that?

 

bevin1972
bevin1972

Take my advice, intimacy issues almost NEVER improve over time, they only worsen.  You seem like a sensitive, cute guy and I really only see Kristen becoming more angry and bitter as time goes on.  She is 30 yo fgs, and is still acting like a child!  Many women her age are married with children and jobs and many responsibilities and all she has is a huge pile of resentments towards you and unlimited time to fester on them.  Good luck!

bronzesil
bronzesil

She is a woman scorned. Time to go. Or, continue to be tortured.

Hulali
Hulali

What a sweet and totally sincere blog!  Some women never get over the cheating and will use this over you for a very long long time to remind you of the hurt they went through.  Kristen needs to acknowledge that at that time your relationship was in a bad place and that you made a mistake.  Being a couple takes a lot of compromise and forgiveness. From what I have seen on the show, it appears as if her  insecurities will never let her move past this incident, especially since its all over TV and she is getting so much outside advise. 

 

You are a handsome sweet guy with a lot to offer.  Move on... she is not the only woman you will love.  Maybe you should remember why it was that you enjoyed another woman's company?  Back then your relationship was seriously suffering and that is what you want to go back to?  You are just like Jax, you are just trying to get back what you can't have. Life is short, find a woman that really loves you and makes your happiness a priority.  Its out there, it really is.

VikkiBNYC
VikkiBNYC

Girls POV - you cheated, she is torturing you!  Dump her or be willing to take the punishment.    She doesn't not want to break up with you, b/c the next girl gets the 'guy' she spent  5 years developing...  if a girl loves you and wants to kiss you when you are on stage... but does not want to give you hug and kiss goodnight... lame! 

realreality
realreality

Tom, I never condone cheating, it's just not a nice thing. However, people cheat most of the time for a reason. I'm not saying anyone deserves to be cheated on but it happens! Most likely there are reasons why this happened to begin with. You don't seem like a guy who would just "wonder" unless  you were feeling a void in your relationship,physically or emotionally? I mean, just by watching the show I cannot imagine you're still not feeling that missing piece that may of lead you off course to begin with? I think exploring this would benefit you greatly. I think you need to get out of this relationship since I don't think you just cheated to just cheat to get "some action".  Anyway, best of luck to you, Tom!

mrsd@13
mrsd@13

Stassi is a spoiled brat who prob didnt do chores growing up. Kristen needs rehab for her drinking. Im sure Tom gets tired of her drinking.

mrsd@13
mrsd@13

Tom,

Kristen needs to 'let up' on you. If she cant forgive you completely and move forward, then y'all may need a break from one another for awhile. Couples do it all the time. She is punishing you way too many times. Put a stop to it. I would. Good luck

bobbihall1
bobbihall1

Great blog. Katie and Stassi suck.

NoVAMommy
NoVAMommy

Tom, I adore you on the show and really enjoy your blogs.  Some of you viewers need to keep in mind that I believe this show was being filmed just a few months after the cheating incident.  It should not be surprising at all that Kristin is still so hurt and angry.  She is lashing out and while hard to watch it is not exactly unexpected.  I hope that you two will be able to continue to work through this and heal together.  There is obviously so much love still there and that is worth fighting for.  Keep in mind, though, you certainly do not deserved to be punished for this forever and there will come a time when she needs to either get over it or you both need to move on.  Oh, and Stassi is just toxic in every way.

foreal
foreal

Listen Tom,  You are a nice guy and know the drill.  These girls are dreadful!  And btw 30?  Cmon man you can do better than this circle of self absorbed witches.  How "cool" or whatever it is they think they are is also self adorned!

Get yourself out of high school and find some friends that run a little deeper and talk about things other than boyfriends, looks and other girls.  

Lck
Lck

You've got to try to keep your relationship more private. And take Kristin out to talk BEFORE you start drinking. These drunk fights won't resolve anything.

bjunebug28
bjunebug28

You're right about Jax - but both you and he are circling the drain of misery, just at different speeds.  He's really just a loser who is trying to hang on to what he perceives as the best thing that ever happened to him.

 

You on the other hand seem like you have a lot more going for you in the future so you need to dump Kristin and get on with your life.  Yes you screwed up big and guess what, she will never truly forgive you, it will only get worse.  You will spend the rest of your miserable life being berated and tortured by her.  For your sake, move on.

friendoftexas
friendoftexas

I feel bad for you.  You actually think these people are your friends in spite of how they consistently treat you.  As for Kristin....really?  Most men wouldn't tolerate 1/4 of the crap.  She and Stassi are meant for each other.  They both display narcissistic personalities.  Good luck with that one.

@amyX2
@amyX2

 You seem like the nicest guy and its hard to watch you get beat up every week. The living together complicates things-would you really still be together if you weren't roommates? Congrats on following your dreams=that takes guts. Good luck to you!!

louis1111
louis1111

Tom,

 

Stassi making fun of you for crying..."hello kettle...this is pot....you're black".... She is so full of hypocrisy and hate. I also used to think she was pretty...then I saw her without her makeup...I changed my mind. Did you ever read Macbeth? Kristen, Stassi and Katie can give the 3 witches a run for their money. They love no one but themselves. They're this sick little hate triangle that just keeps festering. None will ever be happy. They thrive on discontent.

efeezybaby
efeezybaby

I enjoy reading your blog most. I feel like youre honest w/ yourself & the viewers. While others take a less authentic route. Remember, character is how you treat others who can do NOTHING for you. Well, maybe you can pass that one along to a few of your cast mates for me. A few of your "friends" have showed you who they are....it's high time you believe them.

 

All the best!

suprafreshkid
suprafreshkid

Run as far away as you can from these girls. You don't deserve this and I understand why you cheated on her now. She says she wants affection and turns away from it. 

rachel.n.lee.7
rachel.n.lee.7

Unfortunately for your group, you are all dating each other. You aren't just in a relationship with Kristen, you are in a relationship with all of her friends too, for better or worse. That's part of the reason all of you are too scared to leave when you should, you're each others whole lives. You live, work and play together. Look what happened to Stassi when she tried to leave Jax for Frank. I suggest prison, witness protection, fake your own death or grow up.

BravoLacey
BravoLacey

Thank you for pointing out the hypocrisy of Stassi making fun of you for crying. I hate when people assign gender roles especially to something as natural as crying.

lisa2
lisa2

Wow, I just feel sorry for you after reading this blog. You seem to be a glutton for punishment.

miranda99
miranda99

On word....RUN.  You may have had a great relationship in the past, but no more my friend.  That mean whiney monster will never miraculously turn into a nice girlfriend or wife.  My humble opinion (shared my a million viewers) is to cut your losses now, OR enjoy the next 70 years with that passive aggressive sarcastic nasty woman.  Gonna be a long life!

donoharm
donoharm

You sound a little angry Tom and I do believe you brought it all on yourself.  Grow up.  You cheated and there is a price for that.  You were paying it.  I can't say that I wouldn't laugh a little at your crying at the table.  You were trying to escape the wrath of these women and it worked.  Be thankful and move on man. 

shanlea
shanlea

Yep, J was very hypocritical. In general, he is a weak person with no strong sense of self.  I understand Katie getting tired of the drama. BUT - I think all three girls are toxic, mean, petty and catty. Stassi is the worst.  She always seems to get joy from others' pain. 

Saykavka
Saykavka

You love your girl then fight for her!!!

eastcoastgal38
eastcoastgal38

Great blog. Stassi and Katie might not be so entangled if you and Kristen weren't constantly fighting in front of them. You guys should try a bit harder to keep it private if you can, that includes Kristen. I hope you guys are ready to work it out, but it is definitely difficult when one cheats.

Tsandy
Tsandy

@mrsd@13 def didn't get spanked or grounded either! Have u seen her on the amazing race? I would never talk to my parents that way and especially at that age

Tsandy
Tsandy

@NoVAMommy thank u! I really try to as open and honest as I can, also very detailed to ensure that u get the full picture. So it means a lot to me that u all appreciate it! Thank You!

Tsandy
Tsandy

@Lck dude! Trust me., I've tried so many times...I hate arguing in social situations! Makes me more nauseous than a shot of Gold Schlagger!

cyndyt
cyndyt

 @bjunebug28 , while I don't agree with cheating, I also do not believe in staying with someone that refuses to try and let things work out. Forgiving is not a feeling, it is an action, a choice that a person makes. Once made, then as tough as it is, it can not be used for drama and Kristin, like Stassi seem to thrive on drama. As if they are 15 years old. However, what convinced me that it may be time for you to move on was watching Kristen's reaction after you took the stage. She could not stop being a drama queen for 5 mins in order to give you the support you needed before the show, but as soon as you took the stage, she wanted to make darn sure everyone knew who you belonged to. Hell, I am surprised she not jump up on stage and pee on you to mark her property.   If you really want to go anywhere with your music, then you had better get your personal life in check.  Places that book your band will not put up with" Kristen Drama" before every show, at first they will throw her out, next they will throw the band out and then the band will replace you.  You need to rewatch last week's show over and over and then decide if you really want to go through the "Kristen Drama" before each show. If this girl can not put her whining aside for one week end to encourage and support you at a very important time in your life, don't expect things to change.

As for Katie's darkside. Rather it be Kristen or another girl you are dating, the two of you NEVER discuss your personal business with friends or family ! If you or the person you are with can not work out differences without involving outsiders, then you are not mature enough to be in a relationship. But if you take your business/fights  to or in front of others, they have every right to add their 'two cents'  to the issue.Including complete strangers ! It's called a personal life for a reason. 

Good luck with your music.

shelly3630@gmail.com
shelly3630@gmail.com

 @louis1111 I agree!! Look at them, they got angry when Tom and Kristen actually were happy for a couple of min! It makes then angry to see it, because they are children, angry little bratty children, that should be grounded until they grow up, and the truth be told, if they tried to be around anyone outside, or date anyone else, they would get tossed out, who would put up with that, no actual adult! Stassi should count her blessing Jax actually wants her, no MAN, with a job, who, has to be around other adults and hold adult conversations would want that around, please. That would be, just funny to watch, like a fish out of water!

cyndyt
cyndyt

 @suprafreshkid I have seen 15-16 year olds that act more mature then these girls. Strassi needs to take a look at Kenya from RHOA. I can see Stassi's future the same as Kenya's.

emsjuju
emsjuju

 @suprafreshkid That was a low comment. Nobody should cheat. A person should leave first. You are not a nice person.

trixie123
trixie123

 @SaykavkaI fhe really loved her he would not have cheated.  I might forgive (for my own benefit) but I would never forget being cheated on.  My husband and I both agree, even when we were dating, it's a deal breaker.  There's no excuse.  Sorry.

NoVAMommy
NoVAMommy

 @Tsandy Oh, Tom, if this is really you, you just made my day by taking the time to respond!  So dope!