Tom Sandoval

Tom reveals how he found out the truth about Kristen and Jax and what pushed him to punch his former BFF.

on Feb 40

I had no desire to do this photoshoot for many, many reasons, but let's just cover the basics first. My day was a continuation from the day before because I had barely gotten any sleep with the thoughts of this Jax and Kristen scandal playing over and over in my head all night. The photoshoot pics all end up on SUR t-shirts, the SUR website, and a coffee table book that I can't even got a copy of (which I've repeatedly asked for). I've modeled for 15 years and have done countless campaigns, billboards, and magazines. So unless you're calling my agent and offering a day rate, I'm going to show up whenever I damn well feel. And you better be happy that I even showed up at all, considering that the only way I'm going to see any of these pics is on SUR merchandising. It's a waste of my time since I don't need more modeling pictures. I feel like I've done enough charity work to promote SUR. This also takes me away from time I could be spending on my projects and things I need to get done.

The last time I saw the classless Stassi and Jax, they had orchestrated the ultimate ambush, when they decided it was in good taste to divulge catastrophic information to me in front of a room full of friends and co-workers. It's seems like they felt it was their duty to make sure everybody Kristen and I work with and even complete strangers know my personal information.

Whether true or not, I can't think of a more horribly inconsiderate way to handle revealing extremely personal information about someone's relationship. So now I get to be around people who, before this information came out, cut Kristen off, and who have their heads halfway up Stassi's ass. What? So I can waste my time taking pictures I don’t need? So I can get their jaded opinions of what I should do with my life and my relationship? Oh and let's not forget I get to hang around and take pictures with my good ole buddy Jax (who suddenly has been transformed into a "good guy"). And now that I have a FULL grasp of what's happened, Here's my friend who I have done SO much for and helped who I have starkly realized has monumentally f---ed me over. So as you can see, it's a little tough to be happy, smile, and look good. The very presence of some of these people makes my stomach turn. Part of me wants to just leave SUR behind, head to Mexico, and escape this whole mess.

283 comments
kraz
kraz

Tom

I really feel for you . I heard when you called into Andy.  My heart broke for you..  Kristen is not the one !!  You will get and you deserve MUCH better..  Keep your chin up!!!  You are the hottest individual on the show.  On the inside and on the outside...  Above all the guys and gals...  Something good will come of this.  Hang in there....  DONT take that crazy Kristen back.  Stay strong ..  Lean on Arianna..  She is NORMAL too.  but I think she may be the rebound gal... But most of all she is your friend and it looks like she will always be your friend..  So you need a gal that will accept your friendship with her as well.. 

ed5dana5
ed5dana5

Dear Tom,  You are such a nice guy but very trusting to a fault!!! However, one comment you said on the show about watching Kristen with another guy just leaves me to believe you are confused about who you are and what you want. i wish you all great things but I think you need to really find yourself before you will have a successful relationship.

susufabulous
susufabulous

Dear Tom:  I'm old enough to be your mom, and old enough to be Lisa's big sister.....that said, between Reunion One and Two, and your blog, I don't know when I've seen anyone -- young or old -- conduct themselves with such grace and humility.  Good things are on the way for you!

sholly
sholly

Tom you were great on the reunion.  I loved how you STOOD up to Stassi.  It was the ultimate betrayal how she ambushed you and Kristen in front of all of your friends.  Unbelievable.  Totally classless Stassi style.  So I thank you for having the conviction and courage to give her a dose of her own medicine.  


I dont think you or any of us will ever understand Jax's reluctance to feel guilty about doing the ho before the bro.  Even though he hung his head every time his name was brought up on the reunion I dont think he will change his ways.  Like you said, "I feel sorry for you Jax."  Exactly.  To forge through life without much compassion or boundaries will make him one unhappy man.  


As for Kristen you 2 sure did go through the wringer.  Your loyalty is commendable but sometimes you have to "know when to hold'em, know when to FOLD'EM.  You should have folded with Kristen many games ago but you learn from your mistakes.  You are to be admired for your big heart and positive attitude.  Stay true to yourself and good luck!


PS Tell Ariana the dress was unflattering.  




MissLuvRealityTV
MissLuvRealityTV

Oh, by the way, I am already BORED with the TOM and ARIANA relationship. Even through your argument with Kristen on the Reunion, you can see the PASSION and LOVE you have for Kristen. You say your happy now......okay keep saying that if it helps you. Don't Care Don't Care, I'm still TEAM Tom/Kristen.

MissLuvRealityTV
MissLuvRealityTV

Tom, I don't think you realize when you first cheated on Kristen that was the beginning to the end. I can't begin to tell you the effects that has a women who loves you to death. They begin a spiral down hill. Stop playing the victim. Betrayal is betrayal, doest matter who it's with, stranger, best friend, family member. The hurt is the same no matter how you slice it.

Allen12
Allen12

Speaking from years of experience, Jax is clearly a sociopath . . . and this was never clearer than during the reunion shows.  A sexually active, narcissistic, pathological liar who lacks any true, emotional feelings or empathy for others.  He will never have a meaningful, lasting relationship.

marthalincoln
marthalincoln

Stay strong Tom.  You have always been one of our favorites.  We were all glad you told St ASS i off.  Long over due.   Stay true to yourself.  You've got class and looks too!   Something Jax could never obtain.

evenstarlass
evenstarlass

You were awesome at the reunion calling Stassi out. I agreed with every word.

tacobell1
tacobell1

Tom that was a really great, geniune, heartfelt post.  You laid out your feelings perfectly.  Sorry you're going through such a terrible time in your life.  I wish you the best.  xoxo

Candi003
Candi003

Wow, Tom- you are still in love with Kristen. I never understood what you saw in her, but the fact that you are still crazy about her was all over your face during the reunion. I almost feel sorry for Ariana, except that I have a feeling she knows she's a rebound & doesn't really care. I wish you well- you're very cute & you seem to be one of the only people who works at SUR who isn't horrible. 

Fayeth
Fayeth

I felt sorry for you this season, well sort of . . . it's not like you didn't cheat on Kristen as well.  However, after watching two episodes of the reunion I gotta say that towards the end you were coming off like a winey little girl.  It was getting to be a bit much and trust me, I find Stassi repulsive and Kristen and Jax aren't much better than Stassi.  For someone who wasn't exactly the best boyfriend either maybe you need to tone it down a little.  You don't ever have to be friends with any of these people but you are making yourself look bad too when you go on and on and on!

arbor
arbor

Your anger was obvious in the reunion but I thought you handled yourself quite well.  Not many men of your age could do the same thing.  You should be proud of that.  

ambs2013
ambs2013

You have no heart I dont care what other  people said you were straight up cruel to Kristen you sir are no saint and someone needs to knock you off your pedestal.

tina.cummins.58
tina.cummins.58

As an old grandma, I have some advice.  Take it or leave it.  Ask yourself who you love.  When Andy said, "You two obviously love each other," you pulled your hand away from Ariana and looked directly at Kristen.  Actions speak louder than words.  The pain in the room was between you and Kristen.  The whole time on the show, you defended Kristen.  When Kristen asked you about Ariana, you continued to deny it.  Even if she slept with Jax before you had your moment with Ariana, you still chose Kristen over Ariana in public and she chose you over Jax or anybody else she's banged.


You and Kristen have this little cat and mouse game going on.  Both of you are afraid that the other is going to cheat.  Don't you know you create what you fear?  I have no doubt that you're a good man, but emotional affairs are far more damning than a sex fling.  We don't live our lives for sex.  We live them for the heart.  You hooking up with Ariana after all of this just shows you want to hurt Kristen because you're wounded.  You know that is the one person that Kristen feels threatened by.  By you getting with Ariana, you're not only using Ariana, but you're revealing your true feelings about Kristen.  If you were over her, you wouldn't want to hurt her.  Ariana is a girl I've seen many times.  She has feelings for you and was waiting like a spider for your relationship to come crashing down with Kristen.  The whole time, she's in your ear and you welcomed that.  Then she crept right in.  Be careful of black widows.

As far as Jax goes, he is damaged goods.  The whole reunion show, he putting his head down.  He's wounded but feels that he's too masculine to admit it.  Guys like Jax look good and can sleep with thousands of girls.  But he's a lot deeper than people see.  He calculates each move, more so, than anyone else I've seen on the show except Lisa.  He gets women easily but has trouble keeping them because of his inner demons.  Did you ever consider that Kristen picked Jax because she knew he was an easy target for revenge?  Jax was pining over Stassi (the one person who wouldn't take crap from him).  Stassi had constantly been down on Kristen with her whole group of minions like you said.  In Kristen's mind, she's thinking that Stassi isn't all that, and she could take her man.  She didn't want Jax.  She wanted revenge against Stassi for being the princess.


Sex is sex and love is love.  Jax didn't mean to hurt you.  He meant to get laid because his ego is damaged.  My advice to you is to ask yourself who you really love.  You're not going to be happy in a fictitious relationship, even though on the surface it appears you are.  Don't add to the damage.  You should back off and re-evaluate the situation.  If you're over Kristen and want to move forward, find someone outside of SUR.


getalife-really
getalife-really

Tom, what a wild ride.  Sorry that this was/is so difficult for you,.. you deserve so much better than all the drama that seemed to consume  your life.  Stay sweet, and know that the good guys do come in first.  Just don't fall prey to your ex's drama of " …I'm sorry, I don't know why, I don't know what is wrong with me, blah, blah, blah … " Stay strong and don't let your sense of loyalty to Kristen overshadow  the dysfunction of your being with her.  She needs professional help . 

sedgrl
sedgrl

TOM! I really hope you read this or someone has said this to you... The nice guy finished first! That never actually happens! 

awesome66
awesome66

Tom, please don't take this the wrong way, but I think you need to hear the truth about yourself.  You continually talk about how can Jax not feel bad and how could he do this to his buddy?  Doesn't Jax have feelings or care about anyone?  Well, sometimes the universe has a way to convict you about yourself.  Some people call it karma or Jesus might say that with the measure you treat people, expect the same measure to return to you.  How come Kristen is expected to understand your excuse of cheating on her since after all, it's her fault for not having sex with you for 3 months?  You were very mean and lacked any true feelings or emotional support for hurting her.  Now, the shoe is on the other foot.  Why can't you accept her excuse that her and Jax affair just happened?  Just like you can't believe how Jax could have no feelings for harming you, you did the same to Kristen.  By the way, no good giirl dresses like Ariana did on the reunion. It's obvious she's using you to further her status and you're probably doing the same to get over Kristin.  One more thing, Jax has a common problem that usually happens to abused kids.  Men are already taught not to have feelings, and clearly he displays classic symptoms of confusion.  He feels, but is very confused on what is right or wrong anymore which usually stems from a childhood trauma. 

hermosagirl
hermosagirl

Tom: I am sending prayers for comfort and peace in your heart.  You are a compassionate, honest, beautiful soul  and deserve every good thing that life has to offer.  Don't let this experience change your sweet self. 

tracy.dietrich1
tracy.dietrich1

Love u Tom, clearly the only mentally stable, honest, caring man on the show.  I wouldn't have said anything about a "kiss" either knowing the drama that would follow.  Good luck in your future relationships, you deserve a great women. 

loripoole
loripoole

Tom the way you acted in front of Kristen was not attractive... Love how you love so deeply,  you wouldv'e been an awesome boyfriend... but you did cheat.. if things are that bad... you do need to break up.. not cheat.. I admire how much you love love and your relationship.. but if you want to cheat.. leave that person. 


Don't throw in Kristens face your relationship with Arianna.. not cool.  Then your mad at her for hooking up... She'd hook up with anything right now... its just filling a hole (of pain).  Obviously you still have deep feelings for each other.


You were having an emotional affair with Arianna, while you were with Kristen, thats almost harder than a "hook up".  And Arianna whether she admits it or not was just waiting for you and Kristen to break up, thats why she didn't feel bad about texting and calling you all times of the day or night.  Watch out for that.  I don't think she's a horrible person but she wasn't in your best interest for what you wanted to work.. which at the time was you and Kristen. But she wasn't like Stassi who tried tiressly to break the two of you up for ever and a day.  She finally got her way.  (i'm sure she is so happy about that).  I do think Kristen is suffering horribly right now and has learned from Stassi some really bad behavior.. maybe she is ill .. I don't know.. but don't bully her or hate..its not in your best interest.


I really hope the best for you whether its Arianna, Kristen, or someone else, but please learn from your mistakes.  One person is enough.  Don't go out finding if your ok by cheating... know that within yourself..  Be happy.

thinking327
thinking327

Why don't you just date someone who has nothing to do with any of those people and does not work at any of Lisa's restaurants? Ariana seems ok, but what makes you think the S won't hit the fan once again? Too much history there. I think Ariana would just walk away and leave you the second she gets bored or finds something she likes bettter, and you seem to want a lasting and real relationship.  Get yourself a healthy relationship and life and keep your private life-private. None of you are teenagers anymore.

dgmello
dgmello

You don't seem like the type of person who by your own admission acknowledge that Kristen was in love with you, spent 5 1/2 years with you, much of it was "glass 1/2 full" and yet could humiliate her, tell her she is mentally ill on tv, how hot your new girlfriend acted etc...I hope it was scripted b/c it seemed like bullying and kicking someone you once loved when they were clearly in pain and whoever cheated and with who does not warrant you acting like you did. Love can be messy...can make people do crazy things..but it should not turn you into a bully even if it is for tv. 

Shaw_Sway
Shaw_Sway

I don't think Tom and Kristen are finished with other.  

usmc0703
usmc0703

You are a liar just like your buddy Jax.  I am glad you are with Ariana she is not a,good person in anyway you got what you deserve.  You don't actually think being the kind of person you were in your previous relationship would pay off in some way did you?  You get what you deserve and you don't deserve much so she's perfect

MrsWeekender
MrsWeekender

I hear Ariana doesn't believe in marriage otherwise I'd say make it official. She seems adorable. 

YouTellHerBrandi
YouTellHerBrandi

Kristen had nothing to confess. Jax is not stasis property. She wasn't even with him at the time and like Kristen only used him for sex. stasis was with Frank at the time.

hannah79
hannah79

You're my favorite on the show because you are usually not coniving.  I'm glad to see you move on.

louis1111
louis1111

The only woman that needs to be in your life right now is your music. Dump everybody else.

Housewife_watcher
Housewife_watcher

Jax did you a favor Tom. All those people tried to break the two of you up because it was a caustic relationship, but you kept trying to make it work with Kristine despite the writing on the wall. You and Ariana are better matched. You directed all your anger towards Jax, yet you knew he was a player. The one you should have been angry with all along was Kristine.

bravo-tv-viewer
bravo-tv-viewer

My heart broke for you when you cried both last season when you found out that Jax lied to you about getting someone pregnant in Vegas, when you defended the whole time against Stassi and that jerk, Frank, and when you broke down on the beach while talking to Jax and at the photo shoot.  I really like you the most of all the people on the show.


However, you had cheated on Kristen several times over the years, and my question is: WHY? If you didn't care enough about her NOT to cheat, why bother staying in the relationship, because if you TRULY loved Kristen, 1. you wouldn't have cheated and 2. you would've asked her to marry you after being in a relationship for seven years and living together for most of your relationship together.


Kristen's a pig, I thought that was about her last season when she stuck up for Jax over Stassi, which is totally against girl code. You never throw your friend under a bus, over a guy, you don't get so involved in their relationship that you end your friendship with your friend because she broke up with her boyfriend - especially if she's supposed to be your best friend!! I mean, who does that? It made no sense. It was so clear that she was fixated on Jax. Maybe it was because of how much Jax was so fixated on Stassi, and she wanted him to feel that way about her, and wanted YOU to feel that way about her.  


I also felt like there was something going on between them  because you had stated a couple of times last season that Kristen keeps saying that you needed to be more like Jax - you even said that to Jax that HE made YOU look bad in Kristen's eyes and that Kristen had said to you that you should be more like him.


When you said early in the season that Kristen hadn't slept with you in two months and I figured it had to be around the time Stassi and Jax broke up, I just had such a gut feeling when Katie drunkenly stated Kristen slept with Jax. The whole thing made sense to me the very second Stassi told her friend at her friend's yard sale!! I immediately correlated her not sleeping with you and Jax supposedly screwing Kristen. And...if you would've seen the scene where Stassi runs after Katie, and catches up with her to find out what was supposedly said to Katie, Kristen looked  like she was having a heart attack! GULITY AS CHARGED!!

proudmom489
proudmom489

Tom you are amazing and my one of my favorite people on the show (next to Peter and Tom S) because you are truly genuine and care about other peoples feelings. I commend you for staying true to yourself and not letting any manipulate your decision because at the end of the day you were the one that would have to live with it. Keep your head up. BTW you and Ariana make the cutest couple! I hope you last :) 

promotepeace
promotepeace

I couldn't agree with you more about Stassi! It's great to see you looking so healthy & happy. I think you & Kristen are very young & you both made mistakes you can really learn from. Just watch your back at Sur as none of them can be trusted after setting you up the way they did! Maybe Mexico isn't such a bad idea!

wrentham
wrentham

Nothing like true love to put a smile on your face. Good luck in your new relationship. Kristin will move on and meet the right guy. 

I'm a fan and would like to see you happy. 

(I love the way you decked Jax).

Best wishes....

petterson
petterson

I could barely watch the destruction of your relationship with Kristen unfold. That was a toxic union between you two. I saw you were attempting to hang in there but given her severe immaturity and emotionally based decision making, I couldn't see any way it could ever have been repaired into any form of a real meaningful state for you. Let this be a life lesson and keep moving forward and don't look back. Just a little motherly advice.

Sandra@nebraska
Sandra@nebraska

Tom, 
You looked happier last night than I have ever seen you, so sadly I think your better off broken up and moving forward.  I hope continued happiness comes your way.


timmons22
timmons22

I think you're a cool dude.  I hope putting all this in a blog helps you move forward - leave the baggage at the station.  And please, whatever you do, don't ever get back in a relationship with that Kristen.  It really doesn't look like you two were very good for or to each other.  And keep your pecker in your pants!!  Good luck.

Kimberly07
Kimberly07

Tom, I just want to tell you I think you're an awesome person. The fact that you had Kristin's back even when you knew she had cheated on you spoke volumes about your character. Jax has no conscience and doesn't deserve a friend like you. I believe Kristin has some emotional problems. I don't believe once a cheater always a cheater (except in Jax case) and I do believe Kristin regrets and is remorseful for what she did, but what bothers me is her relentless accusations to you, while she was the one cheating on you. It makes me think she has some emotional issues. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck. xo


laura.solisfotens
laura.solisfotens

Hang in there Tom, you seem like a very nice person.  Although you were no angel, what Kristen did with your best friend is very surprising and even worse.  I mean cheating is cheating, you both are guilty, however, NOT with someone's best friend.  And with that being said, I do feel the remorse and shame Kristen is also going through.  It's just a sad situation.  I always say that everyone deserves second chance, and everyone deserves to be forgiven, and it's only YOU who can make that decision.  It's going to take some time, but remember time heals everything to a certain extent. 

long4_u
long4_u

Tom I just want to commend you On having Kristen back that night at Sur, because you knew she would be alone.. That my friend is something to be inspired over.. Even after she had damaged and broke you heart for you to do that I take my hat off to you!!!! Obviously you and Kristen had a lot of love for one another to be able to keep going down the path of destruction.. but misery is not love.. watching the reunion, it was so good to see you had moved on with your life, And with Ariana, I can see why you and her always remained friends.. She seems to be a gentle person and so mature and intelligent, & Gorgeous!!! I really hope the best for you and your relationship!!!! There is a saying that it always takes something bad to happen for something good to come out of it, and my friend it has for you.. keep surrounding yourself with good people and you will always come out smiling..

matchboxpatty
matchboxpatty

Tom, You seem like a great guy and didn't deserve what happened to you by Kristen.  She caused so much drama over you hooking up with Arianna, even after you admitted it was just kissing. Even if youhad slept with Arianna, she wasn't  Kristen's best friend as was the case with what she did with Jax. I commend you for standing by her when she had to face the group with the truth. But it's time to move on and I think Arianna and you are good together. You are great friends first and that will make for a loving and faithful relationship, unlike the train wreck you had with Kristen. The best of luck to you, you are a real stand up kind of guy and I wish you the best. Jax and Stassi deserve each other, they are two peas in a pod, mean, hateful without any concerns for the feelings of others! 

yancybox
yancybox

Tom, you are probably the smartest person on the show.  I was elated when I heard Stassi was gone.  Like you said, she makes everyone's business her business.  She is not happy unless she is in the middle of everything.  She has to have the spotlight on her.  Such a bitch!  I'm so glad you and Ariana are together, you look happier now than you ever have.  

denstevj
denstevj

Tom- You came off so mad at the reunion--I wish you would have waited and healed more before starting your deepening romance with A. 


BostonGirl88
BostonGirl88

@susufabulous I agree!  I was very surprised at how funny Tom is!  Tom is hysterically funny, incredibly smart!  Hope to see more of him!  

OMGPeople
OMGPeople

@awesome66 Hold on there.... Kristen slept with Jax when Tom was in the other room! 

agirlsgirl1
agirlsgirl1

@tracy.dietrich1 Yea, such a mentally stable, honest caring man - does everyone forget that he cheated on Kristen ???  Double standards rampant in our society!  Oh yeah, and Ariana such a great woman!  She sits there all smug and righteous telling Kristen she has a mental illness, what a great gal!!!  Kristen was totally wrong and crazy to think they hooked up??? 

tina.cummins.58
tina.cummins.58

@loripoole Lori, good common sense.  These people are very young.  You see Ariana as the black widow spider she is.  That dress she wore on the reunion show proved it.  She wants to attract TOM and look like the hottest thing on the planet in front of him.  She's very calculating.  Kristen is an emotional wreck.  She's tired of Stassi being the princess.   Lisa said it best when she said "Kristen wants what you have" to Stassi.  Of course she does, because Stassi treats people like crap.  Stassi puts herself up on this pedestal and looks down her nose at everybody.  She expects people to be in Stassi world, not the real world.  She and Jax were perfect for each other because they're both very narcissistic.  They have to control everybody around them because underneath, their self-confidence is damaged.  I love the mirror shot they did with Jax.  Like Tom, I feel sorry for Jax because he's so guarded emotionally.  He banged Kristen because he wanted to get laid, but also because he wanted her in his corner.  He wanted someone in his corner.  I'm sure Tom has had more affairs and Jax kept putting his head down and covering his mouth.  Jax has the goods on Tom, but he didn't reveal, perhaps because Tom has the goods on Jax.  It's all very interesting.  I can't imagine how these people feel, living their lives in a fishbowl.

OMGPeople
OMGPeople

@denstevj I agree with you.  Tom has a lot of healing to do before a new romance can truly be focused on.  Ariana is the one that could be hurt.  And please, please, please!!!!  DON'T move in together.  Give yourself and the relationship to heal and grow!

loripoole
loripoole

@tina.cummins.58 @loripoole  You are so right, and I think Jax and Kristens hookup was stemmed from Stassi's constant ridicule...She led jax on then went out with Frank behind his back,or maybe right in front of him... Stassi style... and she (stassi) did just what Tom said... to Kristen...break up with him, break up with him.....over and over... they were both in such a low place they found comfort in each other.   They were really close friends and needed each other cause they were both going through the "stassi ambush",  and got a little too carried away in their comfort of each other... I guess it was the endorphens they needed.   If there is any affair to understand its this one.!!!  Stassi loves other peoples misery and it comes back and bites her ..... but she will never take responsibility for what she does.

And Tom's other affairs, which weve heard about,  are not even mentioned.  Wheres his responsibiliity in this torn up rrelationship.  wheres his apology.?? Kristen has apologized til she is blue in the face.  I really like tom but he does need to own his part!

OMGPeople
OMGPeople

@matchboxpatty jumping into a relationship with Ariana so soon after a big breakup with someone you've been with for a long time, is bad news for Ariana.