Andys Blog

Andy recounts his time backstage with the ladies of The View.

on Apr 28, 2006

On air it was "hot topics" time and Star was telling Joy that she and Al went through an exhaustive search for the right implant size for her and that that involved a lot of touching but that she wasn't going to say anything else about it because then the tabloids would start on it and her.

I returned to my me-check-in. "Was I nervous?" I asked myself. "No," I thought. "I am fine and, in fact, I am cool as a cucumber." "If you are cool as a cucumber," I asked myself, "Then why are your teeth chattering you bozo?" It was true, my teeth were actually lightly, softly chattering. I focused completely on Carnie. I took a deep breath, meditating on the struggle that this brave fellow-View guest had endured. I took a sip of hot coffee to warm me up, thinking of Carnie and lightly humming "Hold On." I, like many before and many to come, used Carnie to get a freakin' grip on myself. And the chattering teeth were gone.

During the commercial break before the segment, I was led onto the stage where the ladies were in various activities. Elizabeth read her notes for the segment, Meredith talked to audience members, Joy futzed, and Star and Angela Basset looked like they were starting a movement in the corner. I sat in my stool waiting, singing along to Donna Summer's "Bad Girls," which was booming over the PA. They slowly took their places as we came closer to air.

Joy was next to me and we began talking about her experience on "Celebrity Poker" and she told Star and Elizabeth that they should come on the show. Meredith, who I'd re-met the night before at a book party, appeared with a warm kiss on my cheek, and then spent a few seconds getting her lipstick off my face. Oh Meredith -- you are a "for real" superstar lady and whatever you sell I am gonna come buying. Charge me card, please.

The segment happened, it was fun, the ladies were enthused, I was enthused, and when Bonita and I walked out of that studio complex on the sunshiney day looking blindly for our car which was parked directly in front of our eyes, fate brought me smack into a TV legend.