Andys Blog

When Oprah and Whitney talk poop, Andy follows suit.

on May 12, 2006

I have been obsessed with poo as a fascinating topic since I let one rip on top of my playroom table when I was about four. Cut to college and my roommate Dave constantly telling me to shut it, reminding me that poop was not a viable issue for discussion and to focus on Reaganomics and the environment. Though I always enjoyed talkin' poop, I was always discouraged. This was something you didn't really speak about outside your house, I was told.

Until now. Last summer, I sat in my office with slackjawed glee as I watched rough-cut after rough-cut of Whitney and Bobby talking about "doodie bubbles" and "dropping it on the one." It was cuckoo for me hearing Whitney "Greatest Love of All" Houston get down with some bowel-talk, but you know I was onboard! The show was a smash hit, and a movement was upon us. (Sorry for the hilarious pun) Soon poop was everywhere and I was blabbing freely to anyone who'd listen. Oprah even did an hour on healthy poops -- what they should look like and how they should "sit." Wasn't there even a segment about Oprah's Angel Network actually saving some endangered poop in Nambia? Oh, I might be getting something mixed up.

Anyway, it was a big deal hearing Oprah talk about poop. I loved it. Graciela and Liza called and left messages on my machine, in heaven over Dame Oprah's triumphantly bringing poop out of its shackles. On Wednesday's Oprah, the cast of "Will & Grace" was on for their "first farewell interview as a group" which indicates they are on a victory tour and that we can expect many others.

There were two notable things about the show. First, the revelation that Eric "Will" McCormack has had extensive botox, which I am only alleging based on my own observation and is not grounded in any proof. Also, Sean "Jack" Hayes told Oprah that before taping their show every week, he took a poop. Oprah said something like "aren't poops such a relief sometime?" And then, with the audience firmly on their side, he and Oprah high-fived to accentuate what a great relief poops are. If Dame Oprah is high-fiving about poops then I think this convo is careening directly to the dinner table. My timing blows because now that Oprah is bringing poop to the masses, I suddenly found myself getting shy about my fave topic this week.

I am just ending a week-long detoxification program called the CLEANSE! through a firm called Remede Naturopathics in Soho. Basically, I'm paying for three very sexy lady doctors to give me acupuncture, throw me in an infrared sauna, change my diet through nutritional therapy, and change my relationship to food and booze through actual therapy all in an effort to detox my liver!