Q: Um, you are me and I am you so yeah, I think you actually do force me to not only read it but write it.
A: You are not making a lick of sense. Ask me something that people would want to know.
Q: Andy, many people are wondering how you will be spending the weekend.
A: Thank you for asking, Andy. I will be going to St. Louis for my 20th high school reunion! Go Greyhounds!
Q: You are lame, Andy; but there is something winning about your small mind. And will you be blogging about your reunion?
Q: Here's hoping. Are there any old flames that you are looking forward to seeing?
A: Not particularly. I took a different girl to every dance and prom we had and, in terms of action, they were dates fit for a mormon.
Q: Speaking of mormons, how do you like your new supershort haircut?
A: Hey! How did you know that I got a supershort haircut!?
Q: I AM YOU, idiot!
A: OK, you aren't making sense again. Can you ask me about Madonna?
Q: Of course. What do you think about her adorable new adopted boy from Malawi?
A: I think it is perfectly grand that she adopted a darling boy from Malawai and that hateful Andrea Peyser from the Post should shut her face for once and for all. Her column was so mean!
Q: I hate it when you get political.
A: I hate your apathy.
Q: If I turned your iPod on right now, what song would come up? A: I believe that a song from Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon is going right now. I listened to that before bed last night. I turned on someone's iPod on the set today and they were listening to Toto! Isn't that lame!?
Q: Oh Andy, you are hilarious! I could spend all day with you. This joke was old ten minutes ago. Why are you keeping it up?
A. Because I am so irritated that this shoot is going so long and that I am getting sick that I am taking cold comfort in thumbing my Blackberry.
Q. Would you consider being my longterm lover?
A: Yes. I love you.
Q: Me too. Thanks for the scoop. This is better than the Santino interview.
A: OK, I need to go back to the set now. It is very late. I have really enjoyed my time with you.
Q: Me too. When will we speak again?
A: How about first thing to-morry! Ciao!