I spent the last 48 hours on social turbocharge with my sometimes sober, but always charged, pal Bruce experiencing the magic of Oscar weekend in LA, where anything can happen and you don't know who you'll meet or see. When else could I have possibly run into Keanu Reeves 4 times over 3 days? The whole thing is pretty much one big blur. I know there were 3 big parties. I know that they were so good that at one point I looked around and saw Mick, the Brokeback Boys, George and Nicole and realized I was the only one looking at them. And I know that I wasn't invited because the hosts were looking for coverage in Andy's blog! If I blog about each one in aggressive detail I'll never get invited back!
I will report that I met two ladies along the way that rocked my world. I am not talking about me and Cheryl Tiegs. I am not referring to the moment I told Ms. Carey, "Mariah, you're on fi-ah.". I am not speaking of exchanging bon mots with Jackie and Joan Collins (the latter sporting a cowboy hat and her own hair.) I am not speaking of meeting Oprah bf Gayle King or when I insulted the First Lady of California with a faux pas too humiliating to report. . I am speaking first of meeting Madonna. I was in a heated conversation about plastic surgery with Sony Honcho Michael Lynton and his wife Jamie when I first spotted HER. Her Madgesty breezed by teeny, toned, and dressed in black with hair in full "Hung Up"/Farrah mode. I freaked. I was in full orange terror alert and it was like a ring-and-run when I left the Lyntons in the dust, flew out of the conversation, and ran to find Bruce.
We found a spot nearby where we could watch her, and then a friend who volunteered to introduce us. As our friend brought us over for the introducion, Bruce literally physically shoved past me in order to get to the lady. He almost stepped on me. It's nice to know that your best pal will be there looking out for number one when it's time to meet Madonna. As far as the meeting itself there is actually painfully little to tell. Bruce had met her before and (crazily shared a dance with her) so he picked up the ball with their last meeting and was able to engage her sucessfully for a couple minutes as I stood frozen. As I kicked Bruce's shin, he turned to introduce me. "Madonna, this is my friend Andy," he said. He loved saying it as much as I loved hearing it. She was very nice with handshakes, lots of direct eye contact and introductions to her friend. I didn't dare talk to her about anything I really wanted to. I don't think she wanted to discuss her hair in the "Sorry" video. I considered being a little nasty to her because I thought she might respect me more. I tried to interject a few jokes but they either weren't heard or fell flat. I mainly just stayed frozen. A couple hours later she walked by us and we all clinked glasses. To Bruce she raised her glass and said, "Cheers, baby." I just got a clink and "cheers" and that was really all I needed.