My endless march around LA continues ... and through the week I take pit stops at the friendly Sunset Boulevard branch of Equinox to see how the left coast works it out. Well, I can't really see with my glasses, so I am half seeing and half imagining what goes on there. Jodie Foster is there a lot. I heard Diana Ross was seen working out recently, too. It could be a lie though. People in LA are liars. I like them, don't get me wrong. I just can't get a straight answer out of anybody. The men at Equinox are either totally legit actors, porn stars, International Male models, or "Bold and Beautiful" extras. Or all of the above. The males wear headgear in all varieties, from headbands to doo rags to many many winter hats when they work out. Brrrrrr! Is it freezing, or white-hot in here??
Last night I was on the treadmill and the "news" was on a bunch of the monitors. I am obsessed with the local LA News because it's wild car chases and Daniel Radcliffe updates and pet stories all delivered by ladies with frosted hair and Orange County-sized boobies. The people on the Eyewitness News team here wear "7" pins on their lapels. They are on Team7, see, so they have that pin just to reinforce it. Kind of like George Bush and his Flag pin, which reminds us that he is a "Team America Member." I think he might be a better fit on the "EyeWitness (Witless) News" team but I don't know what they're looking for. The weather people here have soap opera names that simultanously are evocative of weather, patriotism and porn ... like Johnny Mountain and Dallas Raines. I want my weather from Johnny Mountain, it just seems right. And American. Those names, come to think of it, aren't better than what we've got with our NYC weatherGoons like Storm Field and Sam Champion.