Something happened on Saturday that enabled me to see all the "Real Housewives" together under one roof with "Work Out" SuperTrainer Jackie Warner.
You know how sometimes certain people shouldn't be together, like the Carringtons and the Ewings? That's kind of what it was like.
It's not because Jackie and Vicki Gunvalson didn't get along -- it's just a brain twister seeing them all together. It is fun regardless.
I grabbed the Red Eye back to New York on Saturday night. On my way to flights, I like to duck into the Chili's at LAX and order the grilled chicken sandwich. I don't know what kind of buttery crack cocaine they spread on that bun, but it is something that keeps me coming back for more. Gail Simmons might call it "craveable." She also might call it gross. I don't know, that's up to Gail.
There was a man across the aisle from me on that red eye making a stanky stink over his stanky pooch which was in a cage-let in front of his seat. I could hear every detail of this man's mishigash with his bite-sized pooch even WITH my iPod AND under the influence of Ambien and white wine. He almost ruined my trip, so to speak.
Yesterday was the definition of a Lazy NYC Sunday. I actually caught up on old New York Post's. Is that sick? I had checked out of the Anna Nicole Saga from the moment she kicked the bucket. I knew then that it could only go on for months and include "Entertainment Tonight" paying for the exclusive rights to the funeral. Class! So it was a pleasure for me to read back Post articles by the usually hateful Andrea Peyser spraying her nasty all over everyone involved in that saga.
Peyser is usually tough to read because she can be so vicious, but Virgie and Howard deserve her on their trail for the forseeable future. "Entertainment Tonight" had camera cranes in front of the funeral, by the way. Lovely.
Last night I was looking to continue my run of zero brain-stimulation, so I watched the Game Show Network's countdown of the Top Ten Game Show Hosts of All Time and Infinity. Their promos at the end of acts had pictures of who was gonna be "revealed" next but they didn't cover the faces of the hosts well at all. So it was clear to see that, for example, Gene Rayburn was going to be in the next act. And since number one was ruined by whomever produced the show I am going to tell you that it was obviously Bob Barker. Maybe don't show the "Price is Right" SET when you are promoting the top secret number one game show host.
Here is how it shook down:
10. Bob Eubanks -- He looks crazy and his hair is somewhere between Barbara Walters and Donald Trump.
9. Pat Sajak -- There is something very sad about this man even though he could buy me and have me and my loved ones crushed with his pinky.
8. Chuck Woolery -- I used to think he was hot. Is that wrong?
7. Bill Cullen -- An old school classic.
6. Regis -- OK.
5. Richard Dawson -- He used to sicken me. Now that he is no longer with us, I revere him.
4. Monty Hall -- A classic!
3. Alex Trebek -- So IS HE gay?
2. Gene Rayburn -- LOVE this goofball.
1. Bob Barker -- But we knew that, didn't we?
They gave an Honorary Mention to Jeff Probst and did a tribute to Allen Ludden and Betty White. And all of the male former game show hosts have crazy hair. And Wink Martindale was all over the show but not on the list. Fire your agent, Wink! So I am starting the week with the "news" from this morning's Post. The "Hogs" movie made 38 mil, they have the "first photo" of the astro-nut on her way into therapy with insane hair, and Page 6 has a pic of Madonna dressed as a flapper on her way to a Purim party. And Linda Stasi has a think-piece about Kelly Pickler's new boobs.
It's good to be back in NYC.