Last night I went to what some might call a book party, and some would call a simply a gaggle of gays.
My date was Nutritional Psychologist Dr. Amanda Baten and the party was celebrating the launch of Lance Bass' OUT OF SYNC.
The function was somewhere I never knew existed, Azza on East 55th Street. It is an amazing, large disco-y chillax meets Turkish smoking den. And Robin Byrd was there, which was very exciting. So was "The Baroness", an early 90's club fixture. The Baroness, who must be solidly 90 at this point, still was sporting a jaunty hat, wig, and perfect ruby red lipstick. We spoke and she still has more marbles than a famous lesbian doglovin' daytime talk show host! Bless you, Baroness! Keep on truckin', Brit's album is out in days, and it'll make the 90 year wait worth it! The other guests were otherwise all beautiful girls (like Dr. B) with their gay pals.
Before we split, we sat down on a couch next to an adorable man-boy and struck up a convo. He was an actor from Mississippi that I will call "Jay". He was dimpled and tall, with thick short hair, square jaw and skin like Matthew Broderick (that means it's like a bucket of cream).
People love to open up to a shrink, and within seconds he was telling Dr. B and I his story.
He is, of course, an actor. Very into his craft, natch. We learned of another source of income for our Southern Charmer, as something of a ringleader for bachelorette parties, taking ladies out for the nights of their lives. He spends all evening with the ladies getting them from one club to the next. It sounded like he was an escort to me, so I asked if he'd ever done it with one of the ladies. He said he gets hit on and propositioned every time, mainly by married gals, and that he had indeed done it. Once, he said. That opened up a whole new line of questioning.
It turns out that Jay raised himself and has been looking for someone to care for him, give him affection, all his life. He knows how beautiful he is, he says, and told us that he realized his looks could get him places "years ago" (he's 23). He said that "when he was young", an older lady gave him an iPod in exchange for sex. I asked him about the oldest gal he'd ever been with. He says he recently slept with a large, 60 year old psychiatrist, who picked him up at a bar and gave him 427 dollars for the privilege of his doing something that I am not going to print on this wholesome blog but wish that I could.
I asked if he had done it with boys; he had indeed "done some stuff" but he says he is not gay, which I absolutely believed. Just as I was ready to go to the ATM and make a party for the three of us (kidding, people), Amanda turned to me and said she was actively disliking this person and that we needed to split for dinner. I was not very ready to leave, but all the literary types seemed to have disappeared from the party and I really did not want to be the last one there.
"He hates women," Amanda declared on the way out. I disagreed with her, saying he was very clear about what he was doing and that he seemed to have an understanding of what in his non-upbringing was making him seek this kind of attention from others.
Our heated debate was laced with voddy, and since I can't clearly express our point of views's I called Dr. B to see how she was feeling about the future Mr. Cohen this morning... "I feel like he can't attach himself to anyone and that he has some aggression towards women," Dr. Baten said. "I can't forget what he did with that 60 year old. That says a lot. And I think he's gay. I think anybody who is a man who let's another man xxx (do stuff to him) is a clear sign of attraction towards a man."
I asked the Doc about my theory that people in their early 20's today don't view certain same-sex diddles as a sign of being gay. "I don't buy it. I don't" So, does Dr. B think I have a shot with him without my Chase account being involved?
"No. I actually don't think there's much to say about him and he's not worth our time. And how are you going to write an entire blog about this?"