Last night I went over to Ricki Lake's for an old fashioned dinner in front of "American Idol." What better way to celebrate the post-Oscar blues than with that lady and that show? It was a viewing party for three as we were joined by her (amazing) 9 year old son, Milo.
As "Idol" began, the conversation turned - as it does in living rooms all over the country - to whether Ryan Seacrest is gay or straight. It turns out that Ricki and Milo had been playing "gay or straight?" in the car just last weekend using her friends as examples.
Her point in playing the game with her kid was that she has friends who "are" and friends who "aren't" and it doesn't matter who is who and which is which. For the record, she told me she thinks about 50 percent "are".
The results of the game proved her point - it doesn't matter which is which and who is who. He thought John Waters was straight. (Survey Says -- NO!). He thought I was gay. (Survey Says -- Thank you very much, Milo!) So, with Ryan's appearance, it was another wonderful opportunity for some old fashioned child-rearing and lesson learning as we began playing "American Idol: Gay or Straight".
Ryan, I think, is a little gay. Ricki thinks he is straight and kept saying "he's really really nice!" (As if that is a shocker and I expected him to be mean?) Milo's gaydar was a little haywire when it came to Ryan. He was iffy. We all pegged AJ as gay. After his hetero-ish love song, Simon said "I'm actually surprised that you were able to pull that off." Here's what, Simon, you might be a homophobe. And you have boobs.
We were about to play "gay or straight" with Sanjaya when Ricki's 5 year old walked into the room and asked "is that a girl or a boy," thus answering our question. No need to complete the equation about darling Sanjaya's mystery sexuality.
Oh, by the way, Ricki's been working for three years on a documentary called "The Business of Being Born" about the medical system surrounding birth in this country - from midwives to c-sections and malpractice. I personally don't know nothing 'bout birthin no babies, so I -- like you -- will look for this film later this year.
The rest of the boys all appeared straight to us, Simon and boobs are actually really smart, and the clothes on all the contestants are really, really bad. And Ricki is one hundred percent classic.