Dr. Phil Ain't Touching Me

Andy Cohen travels to the abyss that is West 57th Street.

This morning I had to go to the BMW dealer on West 57th Street, right across the street from the CBS building where I worked from 1990-2000. If you ever want to slit your wrists, head down to 57th between 10th and 11th Ave. Actually, it won't bring up anything for you but for me it's a frozen moment in time that just freaks me out to revisit.

Nothing has really changed on West 57th Street is the thing. I don't have bad memories of the block but running into the same homeless guy I used to see every ayem kinda spooked me out. (He looks pretty good though!)

Oh here's what's different, the billboards on tbe building have changed. When I left Dan Rather was up there and now it's Katie and her short hair (which is supercurrent.) There's three stories of Dr. Phil and his wankyassed mustache with the caption "America's Doctor." When did Dr. Phil become America's Doctor?? He's not MY doctor; is he yours??

I wouldn't let him touch me. What is he a doctor OF, by the way? Is he a doctor at all?

 

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Speaking of TV doctors and CBS, one summer when I was working on 57th Street I developed some kind of a huge bump/reaction/bite on my stomach. I showed it to the medical reporter for the morning show who quickly diagnosed it as a Spider Bite. Weeks later it was still there and I went to a dermo who took a half a look at it and said it was quite obviously Lyme disease.

Now this medical reporter had by that point done 85 stories on lyme and the bullseye-bite that is the telltale symptom of the tic bite. When I later told her that she had blown it, she gave me no satisfaction.

And so the point of this ridiculous, unfocused ramble is twofold: you can't go home and don't ask Dr. Phil for medical advice.

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