Every so often, really late at night - I like to check in with one of my favorite people, Andy Cohen. Andy is an ok guy and he also happens to be my long term lover.
SO ANDY, WHAT ARE YOU UP TO RIGHT NOW...
Oh hey, Andy. I am on the set of a hit Bravo reality show and it is very very late at night. All my non-work pals are asleep, so it is nice to have your company at least.
OK WELL THANK YOU, I THINK? SPEAKING OF BRAVO'S CONTEST REALITY SHOWS, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE NEW YORK MAGAZINE COVER STORY THAT EVERYBODY IS TALKING ABOUT?
Um, I thought the article was fine. Fair. I thought they could've focused on more of the success stories that have come out of our shows. But again, this is old news. I wish you would at least pretend to keep up with the blog. It is embarrassing.
BY THE WAY, NO ONE REALLY READS YOUR STUPID BLOG AND I AM NOT GOING TO START PRETENDING TO. ANYWAY, GIVE ME A PREVIEW OF TONIGHT'S "TOP CHEF".
There are some tears. The chefs get pissed off at the challenge. You find out who is Dale's best galpal in the house. It's a really good one.
WELL THAT'S NOT EXACTLY A COMPELLING PROMO BUT I WILL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT.
It's a great episode and you are an ass.
YOU ARE AN ASS AND IT'S SAD FOR YOU BECAUSE EVERYBODY THINKS SO.
Great. Next question.
DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR CROSSED EYES?
What's to say?
I DON'T KNOW. IN OTHER NEWS, PEOPLE HAVE BEEN POSTING A LOT ABOUT "FLIPPING OUT", WONDERING HOW ON EARTH JEFF LEWIS AND CREW COULD BE FOR REAL.
Trust me, what you see is what you get. Jeff is an intense guy who knows what he wants and he's got a plan of attack that works for him. His team is actually very devoted to him amidst all the crazy. Is it real? Yeah. He was buying and selling those houses while we were shooting and he's being him.
WELL I LOVE THE SHOW AND I LOVE ZOILA.
So you've said. Not since Florence on "The Jeffersons", right?
YEAH, I KNOW I REPEAT MYSELF. I WON'T EVEN START ON "BIG BROTHER 8". LET'S PLAY WORD ASSOCIATION! I WILL THROW SOMETHING OUT AND YOU SAY THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO YOUR MIND.
LOL THAT WAS FUN. SO WHAT NON-BRAVO REALITY SHOWS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO?
I can't wait for that "Kid Nation" show on CBS. Also I think it will be interesting to see what celebs Mr. Trump pulls out from under that massive comb over. What D-lister wouldn't want the opportunity to see that cotton candy hair contraption up close? Please let Kathy Griffin be one of them!! Also I might watch "Real World Sydney".
WE'LL LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR NEVER GETTING BACK TO US WITH YOUR OPINIONS ON ALL THAT.
Is this almost over?
IT DEPENDS. WHAT TIME IS IT?
It is 2:55 AM.
WOW. OK YOU CAN GO DO WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING... HAPPY HUMP DAY!
Oh thanks! Happy Hump Day to you, too!